I have a power ring; I’m just wearing it as a belt

Once again, I get robbed.

This year, People Magazine passes me over for its annual Sexiest Man Alive honor in favor of Ryan Reynolds, whose chief claims to fame include (a) portraying comic book superhero Green Lantern (the Hal Jordan Green Lantern, for those of you sufficiently comics-savvy to know that the title of Green Lantern applies to literally dozens of characters in the DC Comics universe) in the upcoming motion picture; and (b) being Mr. Scarlett Johansson.

Okay, so I’m not an alien-tech-equipped superhero, and frankly, I don’t think Ms. Johansson is my type. (Nor, doubtless, I hers.) But just once, you’d think People Magazine could show a little love to those millions of portly middle-aged gentlemen whose sexiness derives, not from matinee-idol looks which, let’s be honest, will need to be propped up with surgery and Botox in a decade or so, but from that most potent of sexual engines: the brain.

Experience and cunning trump chiseled cheekbones and washboard abdominals any time, ladies. Just sayin’.

Can I get a witness?

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Explore posts in the same categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Cinemania, Good Reads, Hero of the Day, Ripped From the Headlines, Sexiest People Alive, Taking Umbrage

2 Comments on “I have a power ring; I’m just wearing it as a belt”

  1. Damon Says:

    Witness over here!

  2. Donna Says:

    Uncle Swan,

    You’re my favorite sexy, portly, middle-aged gentleman! I’ve known your sexy brain for more than 30 odd years now! You get my vote anyday!


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