Archive for the ‘Talk Like a Pirate Day’ category

Aye, there be pirates here!

September 19, 2010

Avast there, ye son of a bilge-rat!

Ol’ Cap’n Swan ain’t here today. Out celebratin’ his favorite holiday, he be.

Aye, that’s right, me bucko — it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

September 19 be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

So the good Cap’n says to raise a flagon o’ grog — preferably of the nonalcoholic variety, especially if ye be plannin’ to sail anytime today — and plant a smooch and a squeeze on the willing wench or sturdy swabbie (whatever be yer preference — Cap’n Swan don’t judge) o’ yer choosin’.

And stay off the poopdeck, ye slitherin’ sea snake, or the Cap’n’ll hoist ye up the nearest yardarm!

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Burn this!

August 16, 2010

I’m not a huge fan of holidays. (Well, except for International Talk Like a Pirate Day. But that goes without saying.)

Burn a Confederate Flag Day, however, sounds like a celebration I could get behind.

https://i1.wp.com/lh5.ggpht.com/_Mh1TZAM-AWU/TFYvb-b7lPI/AAAAAAAAC4c/QeKt2Zku2xA/burnrebelsq.png

After all, racist whackos have been burning things — like, say, crosses — for decades. Turnabout is fair play.

I’m not suggesting that anyone should go so far as to burn racist whackos. That would be taking things a little far. Then again, if you wanted to throw a photo of your favorite racist whacko (there are so many to choose from these days — Limbaugh? Beck? Dr. Laura? Mad Mel Gibson? — you many need multiples) on the pyre as you’re toasting your rebel banner on September 12, that would be all right with me.

Just be sure to clean up the mess afterward. Don’t forget, Talk Like a Pirate Day is only a week later. You don’t want random ashes lying around on the big day.

What’s Up With That? #83: Cap’n Jack bests Cap’n Swan… again

November 18, 2009

For the umpteenth consecutive year, the editorial staff of People Magazine has seen fit to deny me my rightful title of Sexiest Man Alive.

Instead, they picked Johnny Depp again.

This seems a rather pointless exercise. Most of the women I know already think Johnny Depp is, if not the Sexiest Man Alive, at least somewhere in the top ten. The same goes for George Clooney and Brad Pitt, who are the other two gents who’ve double-dipped People‘s loftiest honor.

Why not tell the world something they don’t yet know, People?

After all, I too can talk like a pirate.

Sigh. Maybe next year.

Talk Like a Pirate Day, it be!

September 19, 2009

Avast there, me bucko! Wandered into shark-infested waters here, ye have…

That’s because today, it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day be September 19!

Fer those of ye who ain’t up to snuff on yer piratin’ lore, International Talk Like a Pirate Day was plotted out many hurricane seasons ago by a coupl’a salty bilge-rats callin’ themselves Cap’n Slappy and Ol’ Chumbucket. (Their real names be Mark Summers an’ John Baur… but let’s be leavin’ that information in the ol’ treasure chest.) It be a special time to get in touch with yer inner buccaneer, and let the scurvy swashbuckler out!

Yer ol’ pal Cap’n Swan ain’t much fer holidays, but he’s got ‘im a soft place in his furbelows for Talk Like a Pirate Day. So if ye be droppin’ by Casa de Swan today, ye best prepared to get yer pirate on… or ye’ll be walkin’ the plank at the point o’ me cutlass!

All together now, ye lice-infested swabbies and lusty wenches…

AAAARRRRRRRRR!

Feels pretty good, don’t it?

Last year, when Talk Like a Pirate Day fell on Comic Art Friday, Cap’n Swan ran a special feature up the yardarm, considerin’ which o’ his favorite superheroes and superheroines might enjoy theirselves most on this auspicious occasion. Some mighty fine pictures in this one, so ye might be wantin’ to sail yerself over to the SSTOL archives an’ reminisce.

Now, off with ye! Cap’n Swan’s got himself some timbers to shiver. If ye don’t want to run afoul of the Shadowy Legend of the Seven Seas — as Cap’n Swan be known far and wide in the piratin’ community — ye had best be slingin’ the lingo like a privateer from the Caribee all day today!

Don’t say ye ain’t been warned, me hearties. Dead men tell no tales!

(By the way, Ol’ Chumbucket be a Jeopardy! veteran, just like Cap’n Swan here. Let it be known, though, that Cap’n Swan actually pirated a mess o’ doubloons from the S.S. Trebekathon, while Ol’ Chumbucket had to content his scalawaggedness with a steamer trunk full o’ lovely partin’ gifts. )

Comic Art Friday: Three cats, 9 Lives

September 18, 2009

Two weeks ago, we took our first peek at artist Gene Gonzales’s spectacular creation for my Common Elements theme, entitled “Catfight of the Bands!” Last Friday, we focused the spotlight on one of the two bands featured, the ever-popular Josie and the Pussycats.

In today’s third and final installment, we’ll showcase the other feline ensemble — a three-piece combo which, in contrast with Josie and her pals’ lengthy career in comic books, TV animation, musical recordings, and live-action feature film, exists nowhere except in the imaginations of Mr. Gonzales and myself.

Catwoman and the Black Cats, pencils and inks by comics artist Gene Gonzales

It was Gene’s inspiration to dub our impromptu trio “9 Lives.” Clockwise from the left, that’s Selina (Catwoman) Kyle on guitar and vocals, Felicia (The Black Cat) Hardy on drums, and Linda (The Black Cat) Turner on bass.

Yes, I realize that we have two Black Cats. More on that momentarily.

Catwoman — known in her earliest appearances as simply The Cat — debuted in the very first issue of Batman’s eponymous comic, way back in 1940. Originally, Selina Kyle was a Gotham City socialite who moonlighted as a (you’re way ahead of me) cat burglar. Throughout the Golden Age, the renamed Catwoman vacillated between heroism — she worked alongside the Caped Crusader on several occasions — and villainy.

She became a full-time member of Batman’s rogues’ gallery in 1966, just in time for the campy ABC television series, in which she was portrayed by two actresses — Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt. (Former Miss America Lee Meriwether, a costar on the sci-fi series Time Tunnel, would assume the role for the Batman feature film concocted to capitalize on the show’s meteoric popularity.) Catwoman would again be established in the public consciousness as a villain, thank to Tim Burton’s 1992 film Batman Returns.

Batman and Catwoman, pencils by Al Rio, inks by Geof Isherwood

In recent years, DC Comics has cast Catwoman more frequently in a positive light. Since the 1990s, she has headlined two separate series in which she has behaved more or less in traditionally superheroic fashion. The second Catwoman series, which was canceled earlier this year, featured a dazzling array of cover art by Adam Hughes.

During her lengthy career, Selina has worn a dozen or more different costumes. The dress/cowl/cape version she wears in “Catfight” is my favorite of her many outfits — and, as it happens, a favorite of artist Gonzales as well. Above, penciler Al Rio and inker Geof Isherwood depict Catwoman in her modern-era catsuit and goggles.

Only a few months after Catwoman’s debut, Harvey Comics — a company better known for juvenile humor titles such as Casper the Friendly Ghost and Richie Rich — presented its own feline-themed superheroine. Movie actress and stuntwoman Linda Turner donned a mask, swimsuit, and buccaneer boots to fight crime as the Black Cat. Linda was often assisted in her exploits by the male version of Lois Lane, newspaper reporter Rick Horne, who — in the manner of the famously clueless Miss Lane — never seemed to tumble to the fact that Linda Turner and the Black Cat were the same woman.

Linda managed to maintain her secret for a decade, until her series was canceled in 1951. A vast assortment of creators chronicled her adventures, most prominently British-born artist Lee Elias, who drew the Black Cat from 1946 through the end of her run.

Although the Black Cat possessed no paranormal abilities, her training in stunt work provided her with a host of handy skills for busting evildoers. Among her most prominent talents was her deftness in handling a motorcycle. Here, penciler James E. Lyle and inker Bob Almond catch the Cat dealing a bad guy a crushing kick from aboard her favorite two-wheeled transport.

The Black Cat (Linda Turner), pencils by James E. Lyle, inks by Bob Almond

As often happens in comics when a good superhero name goes unused long enough for the trademark to expire, Marvel unleashed its own Black Cat in 1979. Though she shared her nom de guerre with her predecessor Linda Turner, Felicia owed much more of her character to Selina Kyle. Like Catwoman, the modern Black Cat began her career as a cat burglar and jewel thief, and was primarily a villain for most of her early appearances. Also like Selina, Felicia eventually reformed — more or less — and recently served as a member of the superteam Heroes for Hire.

Another key commonality between Marvel’s Black Cat and DC’s Catwoman is their love connection to their respective companies’ marquee superheroes. As Catwoman is to Batman, the Black Cat is to Spider-Man. Felicia and the web-slinging Peter Parker have shared an on-again, off-again affair for 30 years — in real-world years, of course. Below, penciler Jeffrey Moy and inker W.C. (Cory) Carani — a duo best known for a lengthy run on Legion of Super-Heroes — portray Spidey and Felicia at their battling best.

Spider-Man and the Black Cat, pencils by Jeffrey Moy, inks by W.C. Carani

A cat may have nine lives, but a Catfight of the Bands requires three weeks of Comic Art Friday goodness. Once again, my sincere thanks to Gene Gonzales for his masterful creation.

And that’s your Comic Art Friday.

Don’t forget… tomorrow is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Ye best limber yer lips, or Cap’n Swan’ll keel-haul ye!

Five days, matey…

September 14, 2009

It’s never too soon to begin preparation for the most important holiday of the year…

International Talk Like a Pirate Day be September 19!

Saturday, September 19, is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Cap’n Swan says, “Ye better be ready, ye son of a seadog!”