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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 19: Viva Las Vegas Edition

November 25, 2022

By any measure, 2022 has been a year of change and transition at Casa de Swan. Including a wholesale relocation of Casa de Swan. Plus… well… other things.

At the beginning of the year, the Pirate Queen decided that she wanted — borrowing a line from Fleetwood Mac — to go her own way. I decided not to contest, because what would be the point, really? We determined that we would end our partnership as amicably as possible, and I think we accomplished that. For public consumption, I believe that’s enough said.

In the meanwhile, I needed to decide what I was going to do with the rest of my life, and where I was going to do it. As much I would love to move “home” to Hawaii, the land of my earliest childhood memories and the place I consider myself to be “from” as much as I’m “from” anywhere, the economics and logistics just weren’t feasible in the present moment. Nor were the economics favorable to staying put — I could certainly manage it, but on somewhat Spartan terms, and without much to show for it in the end.

I’ve visited Las Vegas at least once a year, and occasionally more than once, for most of the past 20 years or thereabouts. I’ve enjoyed being there as much as I’ve enjoyed being anywhere that isn’t in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. And folks from Hawaii do refer to Vegas as “the ninth island,” because so many kama’aina vacation or relocate there. I ran the numbers, and the finances clicked.

So I loaded up the truck (okay, the professional movers loaded up the truck) and moved to… well, not Beverly — Hills, that is. Still, a place with plenty of swimming pools and more than a few movie stars.

As you doubtless know by now, the drill is that every Thanksgiving I create an A-to-Z list of people and things for which I’m thankful. It’s not intended to be comprehensive; listing everything that gives me cause for gratitude would be an impossibly daunting task. Therefore, I choose 26 items — one for each letter of the alphabet — to represent everything else for which I’m appreciative. In honor of my new home town, this year’s list has a specific and intentional Vegas focus. I am indeed thankful for my new life in this oasis in the high desert, and for the possibilities it offers. Hopefully I’ll continue to feel that way as time moves ahead. To this point, I’m confident that I will.

Before we start, I’m especially thankful for The Daughter and her family, which is due to expand by a second Little Dude early in 2023. One thing that my move to Las Vegas has enabled is a tangible legacy for them, which gives me comfort. I love them more than life itself. And, as odd as it may seem under the circumstances, I’m thankful for the Pirate Queen, and for the years we shared together. I would not be the person, or in the place, I am today were it not for her. I wish her happiness in her new life.

With that overindulgent preamble, let’s get to the list.

On this Thanksgiving weekend in 2022, I’m grateful for…

The Art Houz. It’s a nicely appointed movie theater and venue space in the heart of downtown Las Vegas. The eight cinemas are all comfortable, usually uncrowded places to watch a film. They don’t have an IMAX screen or show 3D prints, which means I have to go elsewhere if I want to see something in one or both of those formats. But that’s a minor quibble.

Bellagio’s Conservatory. The Bellagio Hotel and Casino features a huge themed floral display that changes for each season: spring, summer, fall, Christmas, and Lunar New Year. Each new design is spectacular, and always different. Best of all, it’s open without charge to the public, and photography is encouraged (unlike the philosophy in the casino itself, where snapping off photos — especially with a professional-grade camera — can get you escorted out).

Championships. Both of my professional basketball teams — the NBA’s Golden State Warriors and the WNBA’s Las Vegas Aces — won the championship of their respective leagues this past season. The Warriors, of course, notched their fourth trophy in the past eight years. The Aces, however, not only won their first title, but also brought the city’s first-ever professional sports championship to Las Vegas. One of my first acts upon moving to Las Vegas was becoming an Aces partial-season ticket holder, and it was definitely a winning move; the games are exciting, the level of play is top-notch, and celebrating a team headed for the heights is always fun. The Aces’ starting five — eventual league MVP and Defensive Player of the Year A’ja Wilson; Chelsea “The Point God” Gray (as talented a point guard as anyone in the game who’s not named Steph Curry); three-point demon Kelsey Plum; WNBA Most Improved Player Jackie Young; and either former Sixth Player of the Year Dearica Hamby or workhorse Kiah Stokes — made every outing a blast to watch. I’m looking forward to cheering them on as they defend their title next season.

Department of Motor Vehicles. I know, I know… everyone hates the DMV. But I have to say that every one of my visits to the Sahara Boulevard office of the Nevada DMV went surprisingly smoothly. Sure, there’s a wait even if you have an appointment, but the office is bright and spacious, and all of the staff I dealt with were professional and friendly. Hopefully, I won’t have to go back anytime soon — a Nevada driver’s license is valid for eight years — but if I have such occasion, I won’t dread it the way I always did in California.

Elevators. Mr. Otis does not, in fact, regret.

Free parking. Tourists and locals alike complain about the high cost of self-parking at resorts on The Strip, an amenity that was free for decades but now is increasingly expensive. Get outside the neon corridor, however, and it’s noteworthy that most of the other places you’d want to go in the Vegas Valley don’t charge for car space. I’ll be glad to enjoy one of the perks of my full-season ticket membership with the Aces next season: free parking on game nights in the Mandalay Bay garage.

Gateway Arches. Everyone knows the “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign at the south end of The Strip; there’s almost always a lengthy queue of visitors waiting to snap a photo in front of the iconic image. Many visitors don’t realize, though, that this sign is actually more than four miles south of the actual limits of the City of Las Vegas. (I’ll presume that most of you are aware that the so-called Las Vegas Strip is not within the boundaries of Las Vegas, but instead spans two unincorporated areas of Clark County — Paradise and Winchester — south of the city proper.) Recently, the City erected a pair of criss-crossing arches across Las Vegas Boulevard just north of the city limits, near the STRAT Hotel with its ginormous observation tower, with their own sign welcoming guests to the “City of Las Vegas.” There’s also a nearby corner marked by two fifty-foot-tall showgirls that makes a perfect — and rarely crowded — photo opportunity.

Harry Reid International Airport. They haven’t changed all the signage yet, but earlier this year, the State of Nevada renamed the former McCarran International — one of the busiest airports in the nation — after longtime US Senator Harry Reid. Why? Because the airport’s former namesake was a notorious racist, anti-Semite, xenophobe, and McCarthyite. Good riddance to him and his name.

Interstate 15, the main north-south thoroughfare through the Vegas Valley. People drive insanely on it. That’s not the freeway’s fault.

July 4th, which is the day I first arrived in Las Vegas not as a visitor, but as a new resident. I’m sure there’s some irony about me landing here on Independence Day. Or maybe it’s coincidence. They’re easily conflated.

Kroger. As a longtime Safeway customer in California, I was disappointed to discover that my grocery shopping experiences at the chain’s local affiliate, Albertsons, were… disappointing. On the other hand, I have generally enjoyed my visits to Smith’s Food and Drug, a branch of the huge Kroger chain. In particular, the staff at the Smith’s where I usually shop (on Rancho Drive, near Charleston) are always helpful and friendly — so much so that I once pulled a manager aside to compliment them on the attitude of their employees. Also, I find most of the Kroger in-house products to be of good quality and a decent value.

Luv-It Frozen Custard. I’m making it a point to investigate off-the-beaten-path eateries that are touted highly by veteran locals. Some of these prove overrated; others live up to the hype. One that surpasses even the lofty claims made for it is Luv-It, an unassuming frozen custard stand located in a seedy area just off Las Vegas Boulevard south of downtown. The product itself is astonishingly good — handmade, rich, and creamy, they serve it straight-up or in a dizzying variety of sundaes and shakes. But the real hook is the fact that only a couple of flavors (aside from the standard vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry) are available each day. Luv-It publishes a monthly calendar on its website and Facebook page so that you can plan a visit when your favorite is Flavor of the Day, or when there’s a flavor you’d like to try that might become a new favorite. I have yet to try a flavor I didn’t like (the root beer float flavor could use a couple of jolts more root beer in my opinion, but it’s still pretty tasty), and I go out of my way to drive by when either malt creme or butter pecan are on the menu.

Mount Charleston, the tallest peak in the Spring Mountain range that defines the western edge of the Vegas Valley. Snowcapped from autumn until spring (its indigenous name, Nuvagantu, means “where snow sits” in Paiute), 11,916-foot Mount Charleston ranks eighth among the most topographically prominent mountain peaks in the contiguous US. (“Topographically prominent” is how geologists describe a mountain that is notably taller than anything else around it. For reference, Mount Rainier in Washington state is the most topographically prominent peak in the lower 48.) Charleston is definitely the most topographically prominent thing I can see from my living room window.

Neighborhoods. Most visitors never see much of the Las Vegas area outside of the two main tourist corridors, The Strip and Fremont Street. There is, as I’m discovering, far more to the Vegas Valley than those. I’m making it a point one day each week, often on Sunday afternoons, to drive around in an unfamiliar neighborhood just to see what’s there, and what it’s like for the people who call it home. I’m finding Las Vegas and the surrounding area to be a remarkably diverse place. Did you know that Las Vegas is statistically the second-least racially segregated large city in the United States? (Surprisingly, Tucson, Arizona ranks first.)

Oscar Goodman. For many years, he was the most prominent attorney representing the interests of the… um… underworld elements that ran much of Las Vegas back in the day. Now, he’s one of the more colorful symbols tying together Vegas’s mobbed-up past and its megacorporate present and future. Often seen at major events with a classically attired showgirl on either arm, or holding court at his namesake restaurant in the Plaza Hotel downtown, Oscar served three terms as mayor of Las Vegas before term limits forced him to pass the torch to the current office-holder — his wife Carolyn.

Performing arts. One of the draws for me in moving to Las Vegas is that there’s always a show to see. Live music, theater, comedy, and performing arts of every description abound here; there are seemingly endless venues to catch someone doing something entertaining. Among my favorites is the Smith Center for the Performing Arts, a modernized version of a vintage concert hall located right downtown. I saw Kansas at the Smith Center in September, and was seriously impressed by the place.

Queensryche. “Jet City Woman” is a classic. They’re playing Vegas in March. I may go.

Randy’s Donuts. Familiar to Angelenos and filmgoers alike for the iconic doughnut-shaped sign marking its original SoCal location, Randy’s opened a Las Vegas branch this summer. Although they also serve cake doughnuts for customers who lack discerning palates and don’t know any better, Randy’s raised yeasted doughnuts are quite simply the best doughnuts I have ever tasted. I don’t eat doughnuts often, but when I crave one, Randy’s is the spot. I don’t even mind that they don’t know how to spell “doughnuts.”

Seven Magic Mountains. You can see them from the freeway as you drive into the Valley from the south: seven towers made of brightly painted boulders stacked atop one another. You wonder to yourself, “What in the world is that?” So you pull off at the next exit, drive several miles down a deserted two-lane blacktop, and arrive at your destination, a makeshift parking lot in the middle of nowhere. A signboard explains what you’re looking at: an art installation entitled Seven Magic Mountains, created in 2016 by Swiss-born sculptor Ugo Rondinone. Positioned on federal land, the “mountains” (pillars, more accurately) were intended to stand only temporarily. The original two-year contract was extended for another three years in 2018 due to the exhibition’s popularity, and negotiations continue that would allow the sculpture to remain indefinitely.

Tacos El Gordo. Like Luv-It which I mentioned earlier, Tacos El Gordo is one local joint — more accurately, a chain of joints — that more than merits the high praise and lengthy queues it generates. In many decades of taco consumption, I can’t say that I’ve ever eaten superior tacos to those I find at Tacos El Gordo. The ordering set-up is unique: you first decide what kind of meat you want — they have everything from the familiar carne asada and pork adobada to more specialized traditional fare such as beef tongue and pork stomach — then queue up in the line where that meat is being served. When it’s your turn, you tell the cook how you want the meat served; you can get it dished up in tacos, sopes, tostadas, quesadillas, or any of several other preparations. You then take your food to a central counter where you pay, and order a drink if you choose. You are now ready for one of the most sublime culinary experiences of your life. Seriously, if you come to Las Vegas and you don’t dine at Tacos El Gordo at least once, you have cheated yourself. Hot tip: Skip the always-inundated central Strip location, and drive or Uber/Lyft a few miles south to the new branch across from the Town Square mall complex. Same terrific food, but with more seating and far shorter lines.

Utilities. I would not want to imagine living in the desert without the benefit of air conditioning in the summer, and heating in the winter. (This may shock you, but it’s chilly in Las Vegas between November and March, especially after sundown.) So far, I have only positive things to say about our electrical power provider, and only minor quibbles about the company that delivers our TV, internet and wifi connections.

VersaCart. My grocery and household shopping excursions would be far more onerous without the collapsible cart I use to transport my purchases from my car to my condominium. The VersaCart might look dorky, but its carrying capacity is deceptively huge — I have yet to make a grocery run that I couldn’t transfer in a single load — and it operates flawlessly. I frequently get compliments from other residents who want to know where I got mine. (Amazon, for the record.)

Wedding chapels. I can’t swing a cat without hitting a wedding chapel — not that I am (a) literally swinging cats, or (b) attempting to assault wedding chapels. As touristy and tawdry as the tradition of the Vegas wedding is, I have to admit that it always makes me smile to see a dressed-up couple waiting outside a chapel for their turn with the officiant, or departing with beaming faces as they begin a new life (or maybe just a new few months, let’s be honest) together. I guess I’m not quite the misanthrope I imagine myself to be.

Xeriscaping: the art of landscaping for a desert environment. It’s an essential skill in a place where water is at an extreme premium. By the way, if you wonder whether Las Vegas isn’t about to run out of water any second, it may be helpful to know that nearly 98% of the water used as an indoor resource in the Vegas Valley is recycled. If it goes down a drain here, it passes through one of the world’s most efficient reclamation systems to be used again. And most of the water on display in outdoor venues — think the Bellagio fountains, for example — is 100% recycled. Las Vegas is better at reusing water than almost any other metropolis on the planet. We’re doing okay for the time being, thanks.

YouTubers. In the months when I was preparing for the big move, I gleaned a treasure trove of information about Las Vegas from a number of YouTube channels specializing in local news and lore (Las Vegas Advisor, Not Leaving Las Vegas, Jacob’s Life In Vegas, Turn It Up World, Miles to Memories Vegas, Dale McKenzie), real estate data (Las Vegas Gal, The Thomas Group — Christina of The Thomas Group represented me in my home purchase), dining recommendations (All You Can Vegas, Derek and Catherine, Bill and Lisa’s Food and Travel), and entertainment tips (Travel Ruby, Norma Geli). I appreciate all of these hardworking folks for their valuable content, and I hope to be in a position soon to pay at least some of it forward.

Zappos. The Las Vegas-based online footwear and clothing retailer (an Amazon subsidiary since 2009) has contributed a tremendous amount to the community, in particular the downtown district. Zappos HQ currently occupies the building that formerly housed Las Vegas City Hall; the proceeds from the transfer enabled the city to construct a striking new City Hall adjacent to several other city and county government facilities. The Zappos Theater, part of the Planet Hollywood complex, was home to Britney Spears’s lengthy residency; today it hosts country superstar Miranda Lambert among other A-list performers.

As always, friend reader, I am enormously, inexpressibly grateful for you. I know some of you have followed this annual post since its inception, and have supported my other writing projects as well. May the year ahead sustain you in sound health, in good humor, and in peace, and may we all be around to give thanks together again at this time in 2023.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Food Glorious Food, I'm a Warriors Worrier, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, SwanStuff, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, Vegas, Baby

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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 15: Crystal Turkey Edition

November 22, 2018

As unlikely as it seems, this post marks the 15th anniversary of my yearly Thanksgiving Day blog entry. Given that crystal is the traditional gift for a 15th anniversary, I will attempt herein to be as transparent, sparkling, and multifaceted as possible.

Those of you (and you know who you are) who’ve kept up with these posts over the years know that I have many, many people and things in my life for which I am thankful. I don’t take that responsibility of gratitude lightly. I earnestly, honestly appreciate how blessed my life is.

When I roll over the side of the bed every morning, even when that effort comes accompanied by the creaks and crackles of advancing age, I am grateful that I have two feet to stand on, and legs that support the standing. I know there are millions of people in the world who can’t get out of bed and would give anything to do so. And, as I go about my day, I am thankful that I have a comfortable home, clean clothes, abundant food and water, work I enjoy, the entertainment of a companion animal, and the love of a life partner. I know there are millions of people who have few, or none, of these, and would sacrifice anything they do have to possess that which they do not. I am not better, or more deserving, than they. I am merely more fortunate. Again, I don’t take that for granted.

And especially when I find myself living in a state where entire communities have been consumed by disastrous wildfires over the past year-plus, robbing people of every material possession and a lifetime of treasured memories…

I take none of this for granted.

Because I have far more things to be thankful for than I can enumerate, on Thanksgiving Day it’s been my custom these past 15 years to focus my gratitude on a list of just 26 items, one for each letter of the alphabet. Some items on the list are trivial (indeed, some are literally that). Others are profound. All stand in the place of many, many others that I simply haven’t time in one day to name. It’s just my way of acknowledging how deeply moved in soul and spirit I am when I pause to consider how rich my life is, even in those countless moments when I feel poorly within.

With all that said, on Thanksgiving Day 2018, here are the things for which I’m giving thanks.

Air. In our part of the world, it’s easy to forget about air — we have it fresh and without limit… until an event like the fire that destroyed Paradise, California clouds the atmosphere with toxic fumes and ash for days on end, even for those of us living a couple hundred miles from the event. After breathing soot for two weeks, today’s clean air (courtesy of our first rains in months) gives us NorCal residents something extra special to celebrate.

Bob Almond. My comic art collection began in earnest almost simultaneously with these annual posts, 15 years ago. During that time, one artist’s work has come to be represented in my galleries far more frequently than any other — more than 50 times, at last count. It might be easy to miss that, however, because Bob Almond toils as an inker, an embellisher of other artists’ pencil drawings. Bob’s unique ability to meld his ink lines with a broad variety of styles — always enhancing, never imposing or interfering — gives me the confidence to keep putting projects in his capable hands, knowing that the art will always return to me better than when it left. And, as founder of the Inkwell Awards, Bob labors tirelessly to gain recognition and appreciation for other practitioners of his craft — artists whose work often goes unnoticed, but is indispensable to the art form we call comics.

Confetti. I play quite a few online trivia games (although fewer all the time, it seems, as some of the upstarts have gone or are going out of the picture). I have the most fun playing the Facebook-based Confetti every weeknight. Confetti’s distinction is that it allows one to play in concert with one’s Facebook friends, seeing their responses to each question in real time and benefiting from their collective wisdom. Assuming, of course, that one has smart friends. I just happen to be lucky that way.

Doctor Who. Until this season, I haven’t been a regular viewer of Doctor Who, the venerable BBC science fiction series, since the days of the Fourth Doctor, played by Tom Baker in the 1970s. When the show was revived several years back, I sampled an episode or two of each new incarnation of the Doctor, but was never drawn back into steady attendance. Then came the Thirteenth Doctor, played with charm and spunk (and a goofy-to-American-ears Yorkshire accent) by Jodie Whittaker, the first female actor to be cast as the Time Lord. In the Doctor’s own phrase, “Brilliant!”

Egg foo young. Yes, I know, it’s not real Chinese cuisine. But sometimes, I just gotta have it. It’s probably the gravy.

Freddie Mercury. I have yet to see Bohemian Rhapsody, the recent biopic starring Rami Malek as the legendary front man of Queen. Part of my reluctance is the reviews. The greater part, though, is my fear that nothing could compare with the reality of Freddie, perhaps the most uniquely talented performer in rock history, and one whose music and memory means so much to me.

Garlic. Can’t cook without it. Okay, maybe breakfast. But not after that.

Hawaiian Airlines. Truly the friendliest airline in the skies. You’d be friendly too if every one of your round trips ended in Hawaii. At the Pirate Queen’s insistence, I got a new credit card this year that earns Hawaiian Airlines flying miles. Maybe one of these years I’ll earn enough miles to just stay.

Infinity War. Every time I think the Marvel Cinematic Universe has gone about as far as it can go, Kevin Feige and company find a whole new way to turn things up past 11. Coming in hot on the heels of Black Panther — quite possibly, the greatest superhero film ever made, and one that could have dominated this Thanksgiving list had I not decided not to be quite so obvious — Avengers: Infinity War raised the stakes and broke our hearts by taking our Panther (and several other Marvel headliners, including Spider-Man and Doctor Strange) away. The sequel can’t get here fast enough. (Also, Black Panther 2.)

Journalists. I’ve never practiced the trade — the closest I came was my years as an online film reviewer — but I trained at university as a journalist. I value the talent and commitment of those who tell the true stories within our world, and deliver the news even when those in power would undermine and even physically thwart them. Now more than ever, we need legitimate journalism, and we all need to support those outlets and individuals determined to publish the truth.

Kansas. This summer, the Pirate Queen and I spent a weekend in Central California centered around a concert by the classic rock band Kansas. This was the fourth time I’ve seen Kansas live — the first was on my 19th birthday, at the Cow Palace — but the first time in more than 20 years. I still love the music. Kansas is the only significant American band to focus largely on progressive rock for the majority of its career (yeah, I know, Styx — but they were only prog-ish, and at that, only sometimes). Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Maybe not… but who cares? All we are is dust in the wind.

Lutron. One of the many things I love about our little abode here at Pirates Cove is the auto-dimming LED light fixtures, manufactured by a company named Lutron about whom I know nothing. Great lights, though.

Marriage. In the words of a certain Impressive Clergyman, “Mawwiage is what bwings us togevvah today.” In May, The Daughter entered into vows with The Son-In-Law. It was a beautiful day, and they still seem totally happy together six months later. I’m glad she found someone special to share her heart and her life with (and he does indeed seem like a great guy). I’m glad that the Pirate Queen and I found each other, too. Ain’t love grand?

Notability. An essential tool in my everyday working life — I import all of my scripts into it, where I can annotate and mark them up as I will. I also use it for note-taking in workshops and sessions, and for general brainstorming. If you can use a high-quality document markup / notation tool with a wealth of functionality, I highly recommend Notability. (Not a paid endorsement. Just a satisfied customer.)

Outrigger Reef Waikiki. We stayed here on this year’s trip to Oahu, and it immediately became our new favorite hotel on the island. Centrally located on Waikiki Beach, the Outrigger Reef offered a ton of features that we liked: unmatched location, warm hospitality that personifies aloha, first-rate beach access, a reliable breakfast venue, super-convenient layout that minimizes walking (something that can’t be said of many large resort hotels), great pool, live music nightly, and a Starbucks. I almost hate to mention it here, because now you people will fill it up the next time we want to stay there.

Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. The Legion of Honor Museum in San Francisco has presented a couple of exhibitions in recent years featuring the works of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, an association of 19th-century British artists and writers. This year’s show afforded the opportunity to see a number of stunning paintings by the Brotherhood’s leading lights: Dante Gabriel Rossetti, William Holman Hunt, and John Everett Millais. I’m always impressed by art that keeps me thinking about it for days after I’ve seen it. The Pre-Raphaelites and their acolytes accomplish that.

Quizmasters. Having written a few quizzes for LearnedLeague and elsewhere, and played thousands more, I’m acutely aware of how difficult it is to compose top-shelf trivia questions and answers. I’m in awe of people — including LearnedLeague Commissioner Thorsten A. Integrity and newly inducted Trivia Hall of Fame member Paul Paquet — who manage to do it consistently over long periods of time.

Radio. As some of you know, I was a radio disc jockey in a previous life. Thanks in part to the SiriusXM subscription that came with our new Subaru Forester, I’ve been listening to more radio of late. It’s a format that I hope never goes away.

Stan Lee. Some idolized Marvel Comics writer/editor/publisher “Stan the Man” and gave him perhaps more credit than he deserved. Others in their zeal to counteract Stan’s penchant for self-aggrandizement were perhaps too quick to denigrate his contributions. All I know is this: Stan Lee co-created (we can disagree as to what percentage) several of the most iconic characters and stories of my lifetime, including some that had a tremendous impact on my youth and beyond. I can’t say this about many people whom I never met, but I would be a dramatically different person today were it not for Stan Lee. Rest in peace, and excelsior.

Taarna. I don’t like to talk myself up, but for some years, I was among the primary resources online for information about the 1981 animated science fiction anthology film Heavy Metal. I compiled and maintained the Squidoo lens spotlighting the movie, contributed significantly to its Wikipedia entry, and wrote material about the film for several (mostly now defunct) websites. My art collection reflects my obsession, with its gallery of commissioned artworks featuring Taarna, the lead character in Heavy Metal’s concluding segment and star of its iconic poster. When Sideshow Collectibles announced early this year that they were releasing a statue of Taarna, I knew I had to own one, even though I’m not a statue collector. The Taarakian defender now upholds The Pact from a shelf in my office/studio.

Ukulele. I decided a while back that I wanted to learn to play the ukulele. This decision did not come without trepidation — I took years of guitar lessons as a youngster and never got very good at playing the guitar. (Which is a charitable way of saying that I totally sucked at playing the guitar.) I’ll probably never be very good at playing the ukulele either. But even my clumsy fretting and strumming brings me joy. That’s something, yes?

Victoria Coren Mitchell. One of the world’s best female poker players, and the presenter of one of my favorite quiz shows, Only Connect. Is there anything she can’t do?

Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room. I fell in love with the Tiki Room on my first visit to Disneyland, way back in 19[mumble][mumble]. When I visited with the Pirate Queen in February of this year, I found my love unabated. It’s cheesy yet classic, dated yet timeless, silly yet charming. The performances by the lead voice actors (Wally Boag, Thurl Ravenscroft, Fulton Burley, and Ernie Newton) remain engaging, despite their broad (some might say stereotypical, and some might not be wrong) accents. There’s always at least one Audio-Animatronic character that doesn’t function quite perfectly. And yet, the moment the Tiki Room show concludes, I want to queue up again for another round. It’s one of my favorite childhood memories. Also, Dole Whip.

Xenon. It’s the noble gas used most frequently in film projection lamps. When you go to the movie theater and look at the brightly lit screen, you’re seeing xenon at work.

Yacht Rock. It’s not just a musical genre — it’s a way of life. The smooth, studio-crafted, jazz-inflected sounds of such late-’70s/early-’80s acts as Steely Dan, Toto, Kenny Loggins, Christopher Cross, Al Jarreau, and the Michael McDonald-era Doobie Brothers are my jam. (One of my jams, anyway.) Please don’t confuse true Yacht Rock with that stuff that gets played on the SiriusXM channel of the same name — most of it’s Nyacht Rock. (Hint: Jimmy Buffett is Nyacht Yacht Rock.) For the real deal, check out the pioneering 2005 web video series Yacht Rock, and Beyond Yacht Rock, the subsequent podcast hosted by connoisseurs JD Ryznar, Dave Lyons, Hunter Stair, and “Hollywood” Steve Huey.

Ziploc bags. I don’t know who invented them, or how that individual came up with the technology. But how did we ever live without them? The ones with the slider sealing mechanism? Pure engineering genius.

And as always, friend reader, I’m grateful for you. Thanks for stopping by on yet another Thanksgiving. I hope you’ve found much to be thankful for today. If you have, share some with someone who has a little less.

Peace.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Cinemania, Dead People Got No Reason to Live, Disney, Food Glorious Food, Hawaii, Hero of the Day, LearnedLeague, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, Sexiest People Alive, Soundtrack of My Life, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits

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SwanShadow Gives Thanks 14: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly

November 23, 2017

Each year, since this humble (in the classic sense of “low to the ground”) blog began in 2004, I’ve paused on Thanksgiving Day to take stock of the many things in my life and in the world about me for which I’m grateful. If I took the honest measure of my blessings, I’d be typing nonstop between Thanksgivings, and I’d never get much life lived. (Plus, these posts would get even more unbearably lengthy than they already are.)

So I hit upon the idea of choosing just 26 items, sorted alphabetically, to represent by means of metonymy the countless people and things for which I am grateful.

It’s been an interesting year. The Pirate Queen began a new job, which she enjoys, and where she is appreciated and fulfilled. I landed one of my most daunting voiceover projects this summer, survived a hectic busy season with my largest client, and checked a box off my career bucket list by booking a gig for one of the most recognizable companies on the planet. We traveled a bit, as we are wont to do.

The Daughter hit a pair of milestones: she, like the Pirate Queen, began a new job — one that she’s been chasing hard for a few years — and she and her beloved (formerly The Boyfriend, now The Fiance) got engaged. They’ll be married next May, prompting yet another nomenclatural change. The Daughter is  thrilled to begin these new chapters in her life, and I am thrilled — with a father’s wistful trepidation — for her. She wishes her mother was here to share her joy. I wish that too. But as the old saying goes, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. So walk on, we shall.

2017 will be forever remembered in the North Bay as the Year of the Firestorm. If you live hereabouts, you know — and perhaps lived through — the devastating wildfires that destroyed thousands of structures across Sonoma and Napa counties. The Daughter and her Grandma were evacuated from their home for a week. Many longtime friends and acquaintances don’t have homes to which to return. The city of Santa Rosa and the other hard-hit communities will rebuild, but the lives that were lost will never be restored, and the precious possessions of thousands of people will never truly be replaced. I can’t put into words the sadness I feel for those I know — and so many others I don’t know — whose lives were irrevocably altered, even as I also can’t express my relief that my precious Daughter’s life was spared.

Walk on, we shall, indeed.

But enough preamble. Here’s the fourteenth installment of my annual Thanksgiving list. Next year, should we all live to see it, I’ll have to add a whole new table in the Word document where I keep track of each year’s offerings. (The chart is seven columns wide, and this will fill out the second chart.) For now, here’s what I’m grateful for… among so much else.

Almond butter. The Pirate Queen brought a jar home the other day from Trader Joe’s. In a world awhirl with chaos, the simple pleasure of an almond butter and blackberry jelly sandwich is an amazing comfort.

Blue Öyster Cult. This year on LearnedLeague (the world’s toughest online trivia league, and why haven’t you asked me for a referral yet?), I was privileged to write a quiz about a band whose music I’ve grokked since my high school days. (Yes, we had music then, you young punk. With electric guitars and everything.) I’ve still got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.

Cabo San Lucas. Neither the Pirate Queen nor I had ever been to Cabo before our weeklong vacation there in February. We enjoyed our stay immensely. It’s not Hawaii — this was the first year in the last five that we didn’t visit my childhood home — but it’s lovely nonetheless. We’ll return, no doubt.

Draymond Green. He may be the third or fourth best player on the Warriors. He might also be the most irreplaceable. No one plays defense at a more intense level than Money 23. The Daughter has a picture of herself with him from a photo op before he rose to NBA All-Stardom.

Electricity. Thank you, Ben Franklin. (I’m still annoyed about that $100 bill question from Millionaire, though. Just so you know.)

Firefighters and First Responders. They couldn’t save every home and storefront in the North Bay, but they worked tirelessly and valiantly to save as many as they could, and to rescue and help as many people as possible. The community will never forget their efforts and dedication.

Gal Gadot. As a lifelong fan of Diana of Themyscira, I wasn’t fully convinced when the little-known Israeli actress landed the role. I’m convinced now. I’m glad Gal is our Wonder Woman. Change our minds, and change the world.

Hamilton. We had the opportunity to see the smash hit musical in San Francisco this summer. We did not throw away our shot. Few popular entertainments live up to their hype, but Lin-Manuel Miranda’s masterpiece gets as close as you’d imagine.

Ice hockey. I know, I know. I’m the guy who refers to hockey as “soccer on ice with sticks.” But thanks to the largesse of a good friend who’s a San Jose Sharks season ticketholder, we saw our first in-person game last season. It really is a heck of a sport to watch in person, in ways that don’t translate well on television. I’m a believer.

Jetways. I’m old enough to remember… okay, slow down; not the Wright brothers — but the days when you actually had to walk out onto the tarmac and climb a mobile staircase in order to board a plane at many airports. Give me the stretchable hallway any day.

Kilimanjaro. She rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

Linseed oil. Also called flaxseed oil, it’s the stuff that keeps the insides of my cast iron skillets silky smooth and nonstick. Liquid gold, it is.

Monet and Munch. We toured a pair of spectacular art exhibitions this year: Claude Monet: The Early Years at the Legion of Honor, and Edvard Munch: Between the Clock and the Bed at SFMOMA. In general, I’m not especially partial to Expressionist art, but seeing the work of these two great masters up close was powerfully impactful. I’m already looking forward to the next Monet exhibition here in two years.

NextDraft. Every day, I check in with several news sites and aggregators to keeptrack of what’s going on in this crazy world. Dave Pell’s NextDraft stands as one of the best curated aggregators I’ve come across. Dave skillfully mixes links to the day’s hard news with items that are merely fascinating. Always topical, always informative.

‘Oumuamua. “Strange visitor from another world” used to just mean Superman. Now, it’s the first object officially identified by astronomers as having traveled into our solar system from interstellar space. A cigar-shaped asteroid estimated at around 500 feet in length, its Hawaiian name means “scout” or “messenger.”

Patek Philippe. I narrated the first-ever full-scale North American exhibition by the world-renowned Swiss watchmaker this summer. In the process, I learned a ton about the craftspeople who design and build these incredible (and incredibly expensive) timepieces that can not only tell time, but in some instances play symphonies, display lunar cycles, and calculate dates hundreds of years into the future — all using mechanical, analog functionality. No microchip, no battery, just precision clockworks.

Quesadillas. Because hot, melty, delicious cheese.

Red Special, the one-of a kind guitar built by Brian May in his garage when he was a teenager, and which has lent its unique tone to Queen albums and concerts for more than four decades. I recently saw Brian wield his legendary axe in person for the first time in 35 years, and both guitar and guitarist amaze me still as much today as they did back then. If Brian and the Red Special had never given the world anything besides “Fat Bottomed Girls,” it would have been gift enough.

My Steel Will 1505, a.k.a. the Gekko, has featured as my everyday carry pocket knife for most of the past year. Solid, sturdy, and wicked sharp, with its maroon Micarta handle scales and black D2 steel blade, it’s both a workhorse and a creature of quiet beauty.

Thumbtack. The online service offers access to all kinds of local professionals, from electricians to mobile disc jockeys to personal trainers. Plus, they keep the Pirate Queen gainfully employed, for which we are enormously thankful.

“Unwritten”
Feel the rain on your skin.
No one else can feel it for you —
Only you can let it in.
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips.
Drench yourself in words unspoken;
Live your life with arms wide open;
Today is where your book begins —
The rest is still unwritten.

Vision. Last night, I stood on a BART train next to a blind man accompanied by his golden retriever guide dog. Even with my acute myopia and astigmatism — easily remedied by contact lenses — I am blessed that, unlike that unfortunate gentleman, I can open my eyes and see the world. Today, I’m not taking that for granted.

Women — and I have some wonderful ones in my life: the Pirate Queen, The Daughter, her Grandma, and more treasured friends and colleagues than I can list, along with the memory of KJ and the three decades we shared together. Our culture is currently awash with a tsunami of women finally feeling emboldened to speak out against the abuse, harassment, and disrespect they’ve experienced, and I applaud and support them. Be heard, sisters. Your voices matter.

XTC. Quirky, edgy, and impossible to categorize, Andy Partridge, Colin Moulding, and company formed one of the most underrated bands in the history of pop music. “Generals and Majors,” “Senses Working Overtime,” “The Mayor of Simpleton,” and the controversial “Dear God” — even if you didn’t understand all of the ideas (or didn’t agree with them), you had to admire the style.

Yeast — fueling bakeries and breweries for thousands of years. Except during Passover.

Zapper — that’s what I call my racket-shaped electric wand that strikes fear into the hearts of flying pests that dare disturb the sanctity of my abode. I’m perfectly content to let buzzing bugs buzz outdoors in their own environment, as long as they don’t attack me. But if you come into my airspace, critter, I’ve got some voltage waiting for you.

And as always, friend reader, I’m grateful for you, and the time you take to peruse my rambling prose. May you and yours find much for which to be appreciative on this Thanksgiving Day.

 

 

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Cinemania, Food Glorious Food, Hawaii, Hero of the Day, I'm a Warriors Worrier, LearnedLeague, My Home Town, Ripped From the Headlines, Sharp Objects, Soundtrack of My Life, SwanStuff, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, The Swan Tunes In, Trivial Pursuits, What's In My Pocket?

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San Francisco Restaurant Resolution: Week Three — Town Hall

June 22, 2012

The third week of our eatery exploration (read this first if you missed the original premise) found us celebrating our first monthiversary at a restaurant called Town Hall. I thought this would be an appropriate location for a special celebration, because our first outing as an “official” couple — the first time the Pirate Queen introduced me as “the boyfriend” to people she knew — was a company holiday party a year and a half ago at San Francisco City Hall. Since I didn’t think Mayor Lee would let us set up a candlelit table in his lobby, Town Hall — which, as it happens, is nowhere near City Hall — seemed like the next best thing.

Town Hall is located in SOMA (that’s “South of Market,” for you out-of-towners) in a building that I suspect was once a factory or warehouse. Due to the entire interior surface of the restaurant being exposed brick and glass, sound reverberates through the dining room like a colossal echo chamber. Dinner at Town Hall is, for this reason, a little like eating next to a jet turbine running at full throttle. It may be the loudest place I’ve ever taken a meal where there wasn’t a baseball or basketball game being played. (The noise pollution on the night we visited was exacerbated by a tableful of testosterone-fueled yuppie businessman types whose conversational volume level betrayed the quantities of adult beverage they had consumed during their stay.)

Fortunately, the food kicks butt.

I started with an appetizer of barbecued shrimp, served in a decadent Worcestershire-based sauce that perfectly melded sweetness and sharpness. A pair of old rubber galoshes, grilled and covered with this sauce, would be awesome. The shrimp, tasty in and of themselves, were exquisite. I was glad that the Pirate Queen talked me out of my first choice, buttermilk biscuits accompanied by prosciutto and red pepper jelly. (But we’re going back to Town Hall, specifically for those biscuits.) The Pirate Queen kicked off the festivities with piquillo peppers stuffed with blue crab and cheese, which she described as outstanding.

For my entree, I chose the buttermilk fried chicken. Now, let’s be honest — the best fried chicken comes from your grandma’s stovetop, not a fine-dining kitchen. Most restaurants that serve fried chicken opt for either of two extremes: crispy but blandly flavored, or deliciously seasoned but mushy and greasy. Town Hall achieves that rare split up the middle — a crust that’s light and crunchy but also redolent with spices. The meat underneath was done to a turn while still moist and juicy. It wasn’t the best fried chicken I’ve ever eaten, but it reminded me of that one, which is about as good as you can find. I’d have taken a bucket home if they’d let me. The Pirate Queen loved her main course of bacon-wrapped trout — she said that her favorite fish arrived perfectly cooked, and you know… bacon. (Quite a few dishes at Town Hall feature bacon. I’m not saying that as though it’s a bad thing.)

In addition to the cuisine, we gave high marks to our server, who made a couple of spot-on suggestions, and was attentive without being intrusive.

To reference an old proverb:  You can’t fight City Hall, but you can fight hunger at Town Hall. This superlative eatery nearly pegs the Uncle Swan ratings meter with a lofty four tailfeathers out of a possible five. I’d have given them four and a half, as the Pirate Queen suggested, but I feel compelled to dock half a tailfeather for the excruciating noise level. Still, Town Hall delivered the finest flavors we’ve sampled so far on our summer tour. It’s definitely cleared itself a spot on our “must go back” list.

You’ll find Town Hall at 342 Howard Street, South of Market in downtown San Francisco. It’s an easy two-block walk down Beale Street from the Embarcadero BART and MUNI station.

Categories: Food Glorious Food, Listology, My Home Town, San Francisco Restaurant Resolution, That's Cool!

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San Francisco Restaurant Resolution: Week Two — La Taqueria

June 12, 2012

For our second weekend of new-to-us restaurant exploration (read this first if you missed the original premise), the Pirate Queen chose what many diners consider the best place in The City to score authentic Mexican food. We needed a no-frills, hassle-free stop on our way out of town for a concert, and La Taqueria on Mission fit the bill.

La Taqueria: Best in the world? I think not.

The prosaically named La Taqueria frequently appears on lists of San Francisco’s tastiest budget-friendly eateries. Its carnitas taco ranks at #4 on 7×7’s 2012 Big Eat, the local magazine’s annual checklist of “100 Things to Eat Before You Die.” When you enter the restaurant, you’re greeted by an entire wall plastered with dining awards and honors, in addition to a blazing neon sign that boasts, “The Best Tacos and Burritos in the Whole World.” That’s a lofty standard for the Mission District, home to more taquerias than you can shake your sombrero at. So, we went in with high expectations. Did La Taqueria deliver?

Well… sort of.

The Pirate Queen ordered two tacos, one filled with carne asada and one with chorizo. I mixed things up differently, pairing a carne asada burrito with the highly touted carnitas taco. We shared a basket of chips mounded with the house salsa. All five of our items proved delicious. The meats were uniformly well-cooked, tender, and flavorful. The beans in my burrito were nicely seasoned and boiled whole rather than refried. The chips offered good solid crunch, and the salsa accompanying them tasted fresh and bright.

But I kept looking at that sign, and asking myself, “Is this really the best taco and burrito in the whole world?” Bite after bite, the answer came back, “Not so much.”

Tacos at La Taqueria

I’m not even sure that La Taqueria serves the best tacos and burritos in the Mission, much less the entire planet. They’re good, yes, but not exceptional. In fact, the last burrito I ate in the neighborhood, at El Toro (on Valencia, between 16th and 17th Streets), was at least the equal of my La Taqueria example, and might have been just a skosh better. It was certainly bigger, and perhaps better value for the money. That’s one of the challenges at La Taqueria. Unlike most of their Mission competitors, they only make burritos in a single modest size, which pales in comparison to the deluxe and super options at other taquerias. If you have a decent-sized appetite, you’ll need to add at least an extra taco to your order so you don’t walk away still hungry.

The quality of the fare at La Taqueria is unquestionably high. Little complaints bugged me, though. Both the carnitas and the carne asada contained far too much juice for the amount of meat. While I have no issue with moist meat as opposed to the dry and tough variety, an overabundance of liquid results in limp tortillas and an overall soggy finished product. My burrito and taco both proved too waterlogged to be consumed out of hand, leaving me to poke into them with a flimsy plastic fork. That’s not my ideal taco- or burrito-eating experience.

I had a similar issue with the chips-and-salsa combination. There was absolutely nothing wrong with either element on its own. (I prefer a lighter, less dense tortilla chip, but that’s strictly an individual aesthetic.) However, I’d rather have my salsa served in a separate container, so that I can apply it to individual chips as I dine, thus maintaining chip integrity. La Taqueria dumps the salsa on top of the chips like cheese on a bad ballpark nacho, and achieves the same unfortunate effect — sodden chips that are both difficult to handle and less than pleasant to eat, tasty though they might be.

Chips and salsa at La Taqueria

As taquerias go, La Taqueria provides a better than average atmosphere for your culinary pleasure. The walls of the funky dining area are festooned with posters from old Mexican films. I got a chuckle from the visual pun created by the poster for a movie entitled “A.T.M.” mounted immediately above the ATM. The furnishings are simple yet comfortable, and there’s patio seating out front if you care to watch vagrants meandering by as you nosh. Counter service was efficient, if not particularly engaging. Once we placed our order, food was dispensed with lightning quickness.

Clearly, thousands of folks — many of whom paraded in and out of the restaurant during our dining hour — hold La Taqueria in much higher esteem. All of the points I make above are subjective. I certainly enjoyed the flavors of my repast at La Taqueria, and I wouldn’t mind eating there again. With so much nearby competition for my Mexican cuisine dollars, though, I’m sure that I’ll probably find my way into several other joints in the Mission before I circle back around to this one.

On the Uncle Swan scale, La Taqueria rates three tailfeathers out of a possible five. The Pirate Queen, less easily impressed than I, lobbied for two and a half, but I’m in a generous mood. You could certainly do far worse than this if your tastebuds are in a Mexican frame of mind, but I’m equally certain that you could do better, too. If nothing else, it’s an opportunity to check that carnitas taco off your bucket list.

You’ll find La Taqueria at 2889 Mission Street (between 24th and 25th Streets) in San Francisco.

Categories: Food Glorious Food, Listology, My Home Town, San Francisco Restaurant Resolution, SwanStuff, That's Cool!

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San Francisco Restaurant Resolution: Week One — Bissap Baobab

June 4, 2012

Shortly before our wedding, the Pirate Queen and I discussed measures we could take to maintain the fun and newness of our courtship as we entered our Spousal Unit phase. (Frankly, we feared falling into a rut over time, as many couples do.) We thought about the activities we most enjoyed together as we were dating, one of which was exploring interesting new dining options. Given that we’re fortunate to live in one of the greatest foodie destinations in the world, there’s no reason to confine ourselves to the same old joints… as excellent as some of those old joints may be.

So, we made a pact: Every weekend between now and Labor Day, we’ll challenge our palates with a San Francisco restaurant that neither of us has patronized previously. By the end of the summer, we’ll have discovered at least fourteen new places to eat — some of which, we hope, might work themselves into our list of go-to spots.

This past weekend, we began our culinary journey at Bissap Baobab, a Senegalese restaurant in the Mission. (The signage on the building reads “Little Baobab.” Apparently, the restaurant under that name merged with another establishment nearby, called Bissap. If you look for reviews on Yelp, either the old name or the new will get you to the correct page.) Although both the Pirate Queen and I have traveled — and dined — internationally, neither of us had sampled Senegalese cuisine. Truth to tell, before arriving at Bissap Baobab, I wasn’t aware that Senegal had its own unique cuisine. But then, that’s one reason we’re undertaking this experiment — to learn about unfamiliar cuisines.

As it turns out, those Senegalese know a thing or two about food. We began our repast with two appetizers: aloko (fried plantains accompanied by a tangy yogurt-based sauce), and prawns swathed in a spicy red curry. I liked the plantains more than did the Pirate Queen — as you’ll doubtless deduce as you read this and future posts on this topic, she’s not partial to sweets — but we both agreed that the curry prawns were a hit. The sauce was pungent, but not overly intense, and with surprising levels of flavor. The shrimp themselves were slightly overdone, but not rubbery. (Shrimp may be the most difficult protein to cook perfectly. No, I take that back — octopus and squid are even trickier.)

The Bissap Baobab menu includes only five or six entrees, most of which consist of a basic sauce to which a selection of meats (or tofu, for you vegetarian types) can be added. Depending on the sauce, the meat options range from lamb or chicken to fish (tilapia, mostly) or prawns. All entrees can be accompanied with either rice or couscous. The Pirate Queen chose the yassa (a rich, mustard and onion-based sauce) with lamb, and enjoyed it thoroughly. My entree, called coco, consisted of a tilapia fillet grilled on skewers, then layered with a slightly sweet coconut-onion sauce and sliced potatoes. The fish was expertly cooked, and the well-balanced sauce made a perfect match.

We found the flavor profiles surprising and memorable. I expected something similar to either Moroccan or Ethiopian cuisine — two styles of cooking with which I’m quite familiar. Instead, Bissap Baobab’s food reminded me more of both Caribbean (which made sense, given the West African heritage of many Caribbean residents) and Indian cuisine, the latter of which came out of left field. The unique combination of spices, aromatics, and other ingredients is distinctive and very appealing, and I’ll look forward to other opportunities to expand my connection with this wonderful regional style.

As for the restaurant experience beyond the food itself: Like many restaurants here in The City, Bissap Baobab suffers from complications of space, or lack thereof. We were shoehorned into a corner in which our table wedged cheek-by-jowl with three other small tables, two of which were occupied by other diners. The staff, to their credit, figured out quickly that the arrangement was too cramped, and removed the unoccupied table to create breathing room between the three that remained. Aside from this minor snafu, we enjoyed our visit. Our waitperson offered friendly, helpful explanations of both the dishes and the drink menu, and answered all of our questions with a smile. Food arrived at our table with reasonable promptness, though we did have to wait a stretch to settle our check at the end of the meal. The interior of the space is decorated with bright, hand-painted murals that lend the ambiance a vibrant energy.

Uncle Swan gives Bissap Baobab a solid three-and-one-half tailfeathers out of a possible five. If you’d like to try a regional cuisine that offers some savory surprises, check out the Senegalese fare at Bissap Baobab the next time you cruise the Mission. (A bit of trivia: Bissap is the hibiscus flower; baobab is a fruit tree also called monkey bread.)

You’ll find Bissap Baobab at 3388 19th Street (between Mission and Capp) in San Francisco’s Mission neighborhood.

Categories: Food Glorious Food, Listology, My Home Town, San Francisco Restaurant Resolution, SwanStuff, That's Cool!

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Just a guy named Joe

August 31, 2010

I went shopping at Trader Joe’s this afternoon.

Now, I realize that doesn’t sound especially momentous. This was, however, the first time I’d darkened the doorstep of a Trader Joe’s in a good eight years — since my corporate days, when I worked a mere two blocks from the local TJ’s and dropped in there frequently. My new life in self-employment keeping me chained to my desk at home most of the time, and with the home of the “Fearless Flyer” being now more than a little out of my way, TJ’s and I have drifted apart.

But not today.

A shiny new Trader Joe’s opened in Santa Rosa a while back, right around the corner from my favorite Hawaiian barbecue joint — which, as fate would have it, has been closed ever since some nutcase drove his car through the front of the restaurant. With the news of the recent death of Trader Joe’s reclusive German owner, Theo Albrecht, fresh in my mind, and with a few hours of free time on my hands, I decided to venture in and check out the goods.

For the benefit of those of you unfortunate enough to live out of range of a Trader Joe’s, I’ll explain what I’m talking about. Trader Joe’s is a chain of specialty markets that’s big here in California. Originally a group of convenience stores, Trader Joe’s changed its image in the late 1960s, adopting a Polynesian motif and stocking select products sold mostly under its house brand names. (These often riff on the ethnicity of the comestibles in question — my chicken quesadillas, for example, bore the moniker “Trader Jose’s.”) Unlike a conventional supermarket, where you can buy practically anything your stomach desires, Trader Joe’s focuses on a narrow blend of gourmet and organic foods and household products. The store caters to a niche clientele including foodies, aging hippies, and bargain hunters.

Eschewing big-budget advertising, Trader Joe’s mostly draws customers in via its “Fearless Flyer,” a multipage direct-mail circular printed on cheap paper and featuring cartoons in the style of Victorian-era illustration. The store’s merchandise profile changes constantly — you learn never to get hooked on a Trader Joe’s item, because they’ll stop selling it the moment you do — but often includes unique products (especially seafood and frozen entrees) you’d never find anywhere else. Because almost all of the product line is branded in-house, TJ’s “cuts out the middleman” and frequently offers surprisingly good value for such an upscale retailer.

I strolled into the shiny new-ish TJ’s today with few expectations. I ended up needing a second handbasket to carry all of the stuff I lugged to the cash register, where a stone-faced college student in an aloha shirt (that’s part of the TJ’s vibe — all of the employees wear colorful Hawaiian shirts, and summon one another to the registers not with an intercom, but with a hand bell) totaled and bagged my purchases. I came away with frozen dinner items to feed myself for the next week, a few snacks, two cans of whole bean coffee, and a box of vanilla almond granola (quite tasty — I’m eating a bowl as I type).

The store was brightly lit and cheery, if rather spartan in decor — another Trader Joe’s trademark — and everyone, both staff and shoppers, seemed happy to be there. (Everyone, that is, except my cashier, whose personality made the prosaic bag of raw almonds I bought seem lively by comparison.) I know I was.

Thanks, Trader Joe.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Dead People Got No Reason to Live, Food Glorious Food, My Home Town, That's Cool!, Wonderful World of Advertising

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Life isn’t (the county) fair

August 3, 2009

Tonight, our little family — although no group can accurately be described as “little” if I’m in it — made our annual pilgrimage to the Sonoma County Fair.

The event musters less cachet every year. Our daughter is long since old enough to go to the fair on her own, with her friends, and generally doesn’t need the ‘rents tagging along. My wife now needs a wheelchair to cover the expansive fairground distances, and thus doesn’t get to see everything as closely or conveniently as she once did. And every year, the selection of vendors grows more sparse and the exhibits less compelling.

But still, it’s our tradition. So we go. And we always have a nice time.

I mostly go to the fair to watch people, and to eat. The latter grows increasingly challenging. Many of the vendors whose offerings I once enjoyed no longer appear — where have you gone, Richardson’s Ribs? — and those who do seldom rise to the level of true county fair greatness. This year, KJ’s favorite Mexican cuisine stand — the home of the legendary soft tacos that she waited all summer to nosh —  was a no-show. She contented herself with a child’s plate of spaghetti from the Pasta King instead. I settled for a platter of fried seafood, which was decent enough, but nothing like the calamari that another vendor used to serve. That purveyor, too, is gone.

Even the venerable cinnamon roll concession, for decades a staple of the main pavilion, got shunted outside to an unfamiliar location this year. I tell you, there’s just no respect for history any more.

I did savor a pleasant enough quaff of draft cream soda from a vendor I’d not seen at previous fairs. The cowboy-costumed barkeep drew my drink in a colorful keepsake tin cup, which may come in handy someday if I fill it with pencils and stand on a busy street corner.

We trekked what seemed like a half-marathon out to the fairgrounds’ back forty to check out the Budweiser Clydesdales. Why bother to bring in such a crowd-pleasing attraction if you’re going to hide it in an obscure cranny where the crowds may never find it? Even a fair employee whom we stopped for directions was momentarily stumped by the question of where the Clydesdales were. (I’m not entirely certain she even knew what a Clydesdale was.)

The Hall of Flowers held its own. The theme this year was “The Land Before Time,” which mostly involved every floral designer sticking an incongruous plastic dinosaur or two into his or her display. The overall decoration looked good, though, and a few of the designers added exotic touches like colored waterfalls or volcanoes in an effort to make the scene vaguely Cretaceous.

I saw no one hawking anything in the main pavilion that I couldn’t live without. I managed to resist the siren call of kitchen gadgets, gaudy neckties, hot tubs (why do they always sell hot tubs? who goes to the fair looking to score a four-seat Jacuzzi for the back patio?) and the ubiquitous Sham-Wow. I almost succumbed to a sudden jones for cleaning products, but just couldn’t pull the trigger.

My daughter KM paused to let me take her photo with the lifesize cutout of President Obama at the Democratic Party booth. We noted that, as custom dictated, the Dems and the Repubs again occupied spaces on opposite sides of the hall. (Some things never change.) It might actually spark the proceedings a trifle if the organizers stationed the two parties in adjacent stalls. Perhaps mayhem would ensue.

Given the current state of our county fair, a little mayhem might be just what it needs.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Food Glorious Food, My Home Town, SwanStuff

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Happy Bastilla Day!

July 14, 2009

If you happen to be in France as you read this, happy Bastille Day.

Only the French would think it a good idea to have a national holiday honoring a prison. I doubt that one could muster much enthusiasm on these shores for, say, San Quentin Day.

Seeing that Bastille Day is a tough sell, I’m proposing an alternative: Bastilla Day.

Sweet, savory Moroccan pie stuffed with chicken, eggs, and almonds, dusted with cinnamon and powdered sugar… who couldn’t get behind that?

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Food Glorious Food, Random Acts of Patriotism

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Hawaiian I

June 11, 2009

Happy King Kamehameha Day to all of my Hawaiian friends. Save me a hunk of kalua pig, yeah? (I don’t have room in my backyard to dig an imu — that’s the underground oven used to roast a whole pig — so I’m throwing ribs on the grill instead.)

Whenever anyone asks me, “Where are you from originally?” my default answer as a former military brat is, “Everywhere.” If pinned down, however, I’ll say Hawaii.

Although I was born and adopted in Michigan, I spent the formative years of my childhood in the Aloha State. It’s from Hawaii that my earliest memories emanate, and thus it’s the locale I identify as my place of origin. There’s still a part of me that longs to reside there, even though the Golden State Warriors will win the NBA Finals before I’ll persuade my wife to do that.

Our home on Oahu was a little white house in the Honolulu suburb of Ewa Beach (pronounced “eh-vah,” as in, “You Ewa do dat again, brah, I going knock you on yo’ okole“). There was one other house between ours and a beautiful expanse of white sand beach, where I played in those days before parents thought overmuch about what might become of keikis (that’s “small children” to you haoles) left to play alone in public places. (Or perhaps my parents did think about it, and I should have taken that as a hint.) My best friend was a towheaded boy who lived next door, and who also had the same first name as I. We routinely referred to one another as “the other Michael” in a youthful accommodation to identity.

My most vivid recollections of those halcyon days include the time that my mother and I found and rescued a young dolphin beached on our neighborhood shore, and the time I was pinned under a driftwood log and nearly drowned. From the latter incident I acquired a fear of water that persisted for years, preventing me from learning to swim adequately until I was well into adolescence.

Decades later, Hawaiian influences continue to pervade my consciousness. Some of these are linguistic holdovers from my childhood pidgin: I still refer to my belly as my opu, address my friends as “brah,” say “all pau” when I’m finished with something, and shrug off responsibility with the phrase, “That’s not my kuleana.” Other influences are cultural: I’m convinced that my dogged casualness toward life is vestigial Hawaiian.

And, once or twice a month, I have to indulge my craving for Hawaiian food. Nothing says lovin’ like a loco moco (a gravy-covered hamburger topped with a fried egg, served with rice), a slice of Spam musubi (think sushi, only with Spam — yeah, I said Spam — instead of fish), and a steaming bowl of saimin (noodle soup).

I’ve been a Californian for three decades, but my heart remains in the Islands. And why not — we’ve got a Hawaiian in the White House now. You go, brah!

Think I’ll go put on my aloha shirt and sing a few choruses of “The Hukilau Song.” Or maybe “Pearly Shells.”

Aloha!

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Food Glorious Food, Hero of the Day, My Home Town, Reminiscing, SwanStuff

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