Archive for the ‘SwanStuff’ category

SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 18: Emerging From the Silo Edition

November 26, 2021

So, yeah… this pandemic has been, and continues to be, a thing.

But here we are. A year ago, we were all pretty much locked down, shut in, and wondering if or when we would ever be able to resume some semblance of normal life. Today, we’re several months into having effective anti-COVID vaccines available — many of us have already received both initial doses, plus a booster — which have facilitated at least some measure of mobility.

At our house, having everyone vaccinated meant enjoying the in-person Thanksgiving dinner with close family that would have been unthinkable last year. The Pirate Queen and I were able to take the Hawaiian vacation we’d had to postpone for a year and a half. And I got to see the two most recent Marvel Cinematic Universe films — Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings and Eternals — in an actual movie theater. I would not have believed how much I would treasure such experiences, until they were snatched away.

None of that erases the fact that more Americans died from COVID-19 this calendar year than last, or that millions of people both here and abroad continue to suffer from the consequences of this plague.

But I’m thankful for the progress that we’ve made.

As always, my Thanksgiving list of gratitude is topped by loved ones — the Pirate Queen, The Daughter, and The Daughter’s family, which expanded by one in April. The Little Dude is a genuine delight, and is as adorable as it’s possible for an infant human to be. I wish I had a better world to welcome him into. But it is what it is.

Without further folderol, then, here’s this year’s A-Z sampling of people and things for which I’m grateful this Thanksgiving season. As is our tradition in this space, this list is not intended to be comprehensive, but rather a kind of synecdoche (look it up) standing in for the countless reasons I have to give thanks.

Thus, in November 2021, I’m thankful for:

Adobe Audition. I’ve toyed for years with the notion of upgrading my digital audio workstation (a technical term for “recording software”) from freeware to something more professional. Even though I’ve had extensive experience engineering with Audition in a studio setting, I hesitated to replace the familiar and comfortable Audacity (which I was using long before I got into pro voiceover work) in my home environment. This year, I pushed myself to make the switch. My only regret is that I didn’t do it ages ago.

Brandon, Buster, and Belt. My beloved San Francisco Giants returned to playoff form with a 107-victory season in 2021, with the Three-B Triumvirate of veterans leading the way. Shortstop Brandon Crawford not only earned his fourth Gold Glove, but also finished fourth in the National League MVP voting with a career-best offensive campaign. First baseman Brandon Belt blasted 29 home runs despite a couple of significant injury absences. Catcher Buster Posey capped a stellar career — he announced his retirement at season’s end — by winning the NL Comeback Player of the Year Award.

The Chase. What I was NDA-bound not to reveal in last Thanksgiving’s list became clear in January, when I added a few seconds to my 15 minutes of TV quiz show fame (I say, “fame,” as though I were actually famous) with a successful appearance on ABC’s revival of The Chase. My teammate Daniel and I managed to outrace Jeopardy! superstar James Holzhauer to split a bankroll of $325K. Although it aired this year, our episode actually taped in November 2020 under strict COVID protocols.

Dr. Strange. He’s guest-starring in the third MCU Spider-Man film next month. He entered my statue gallery earlier this year. I’m wearing his T-shirt as I type this post.

Everything bagels. Not literally “everything,” but still, a savory flavor combination that’s hard to resist. So popular that you can now get “everything” seasoning on dozens of other foods, or even just by itself you that you can apply it to your own creations. There’s a bottle in my spice rack.

Fandango. It was pleasant to return to the cinema after nearly two years, with the ubiquitous movie-ticket app making the admission process contact-free. Also pleasant: being able to see how many other tickets had been sold in advance for each performance, to have a sense of how crowded (or not) the theater might be.

The Gospel According to Luke. I’ve read a fair number of rock star bios and memoirs in recent years, but none I’ve enjoyed more than this one by longtime Toto guitarist Steve Lukather. In addition to his decades-spanning Toto run, Luke has played hundreds of sessions behind other music legends — everyone from Michael Jackson (that’s Luke playing the non-Eddie Van Halen guitar parts on “Beat It”) to Elton John, from Aretha Franklin to Boz Scaggs, from Stevie Nicks to Chaka Khan. But I was surprised to learn just how deep his backing credits run. That’s Luke on Lionel Richie’s “Say You, Say Me”? On “Talk to Ya Later” by the Tubes? On Spinal Tap’s “Break Like the Wind”? Who knew?

Haiku. A mere three brief lines. Just seventeen syllables. Poetic word art.

Insecure. Issa Rae’s groundbreaking HBO series about a young African-American woman navigating life with her circle of friends and lovers is currently in its final season. It’s impossible to overstate the power of seeing Black people on television leading authentic lives and dealing with everyday relationship complexities that always feel real. I’ll miss Issa, Molly (played by the sublime Yvonne Orji), and their crew, and I’ll look forward to seeing what Ms. Rae brings to the table next.

Jodie Whittaker. Speaking of TV departures, I’m also going to miss the Thirteenth Doctor when she departs Doctor Who at the end of this series. It took Jodie’s quirky, impetuous Time Lord (and her glorious Yorkshire dialect) to get me back on board with a show I hadn’t cared about since halfway through David Tennant’s run as the Tenth Doctor. I can only hope that whoever the Fourteenth Doctor might be (the role has yet to be cast), they’ll bring as much joy to the character as did Whittaker.

Kailua. One of the highlights of our Oahu trip this year was touring this delightful town on the Windward Coast. Between its world-class beaches, walkable central district, and relaxed, congenial vibe, Kailua’s an easy place to love. (The other Kailua, on the Kona Coast of the Big Island, is pretty awesome too.)

Little Dude. Did I mention that he’s adorable? Yes, I believe I did.

Magenta. It’s been a long while since I added a new entry to my catalog of all-time favorite bands. These Welsh progressive rockers cracked the code this year. A three-person core — multi-instrumentalist Robert Reed, guitarist Chris Fry, and vocalist Christina Booth, plus Reed’s brother Steven who contributes lyrics — supported by a changing cast of supporting players, Magenta takes cues from such earlier prog acts as Yes, Genesis, and Renaissance, but ends up sounding very much like its own thing. What separates Magenta from its prog predecessors for me is Rob Reed’s insistence upon “giving priority to melody rather than technical showmanship.” Magenta’s music focuses on evocative songs rather than endless instrumental noodling; songs sumptuously conveyed by Booth’s alternately delicate yet powerful voice. Magenta also takes the well-worn trope of “concept album” in interesting new directions. Their most recent effort, 2020’s Masters of Illusion, dedicates its tracks to once-prominent horror film actors, including Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee, and Ingrid Pitt. Previous albums have employed such themes as the seven deadly sins (Seven) and rock stars who died young (The Twenty-Seven Club).

Nachos Bell Grande. You know that craving you have every now and again for something that’s barely food, but that satisfies that craving like nothing else can? Of course you do.

One hundred eighty. My Common Elements comic art commission theme reached this milestone number in 2021. (A couple of entries are still in the hands of their creators.) Seventeen years ago, when I first got the idea to commission an original artwork featuring otherwise unrelated comic book heroes who shared some feature in common, I would never have predicted that I’d eventually own 180 of them. And yet, here we are. Which of the 180 Common Elements drawings is my favorite? The next one.

Packing cubes. They seem like a gimmick at first, but these magic pouches have become an indispensable part of traveling. I have always struggled to fit everything for a trip into a single suitcase. Packing cubes transform my checked bag into a TARDIS — bigger on the inside.

Queen of Swords. I was reminded recently of this short-lived period series from the early 2000s, in which Tessie Santiago starred as a kind of female Zorro. You can find a handful of episodes on YouTube, which only make me wish some streaming service would collect the entire run. Also: the title of one of my favorite songs by Idina Menzel.

The Real Housewives of Henry VIII, my Online Quiz League team. The name derived from the fact that the team originally had six members. When two of our players moved on after the first season, we kept the name. Since I usually occupy the fourth position in our playing rotation, I hold the Anne of Cleves seat. (From a historical perspective, Anne did alright for herself — she got a rich settlement, was beloved by everyone including her servants, and never had to be intimate with Henry, whom she outlived. None of which can be said for Anne Boleyn or Catherine Howard.)

Smart Resume. Why doesn’t every channel offer this feature on every DVR recording? Because they want us to watch the commercials, obviously. But I employ Smart Resume every chance I get.

TD Ameritrade, the nice folks who provide the tools to manage my investment portfolio. For the record, today (Friday, November 26, 2021) was not a good day for the market. But I can’t blame TD Ameritrade for that.

“Unpretty.” Still my favorite TLC jam, with an ever-relevant message — especially for young women — about not allowing other people to define you.

Vaccines. As I noted in the introduction to this post, vaccines have helped ease us back onto the path toward a semblance of normal life. We’d be even further along that path were it not for an active misinformation campaign sponsored by villains about whom, quite frankly, I don’t have much positive to say. Vaccines helped rid the world of smallpox and, for the most part, of polio. Vaccines reduced the threat of measles, a disease that used to kill millions of children, and of other scourges such as typhoid, cholera, tetanus, and diphtheria. Just get your shots, people.

Warriors. The Dubs are back in full force, after a few seasons on struggle street. Steph Curry has redefined basketball — bold words, I know, but I can’t think of a more accurate way to put it. And Steph once again has a supporting cast around him that’s capable of a deep playoff run. Just wait until the other Splash Brother, Klay Thompson, returns to the floor next month.

Xiao long bao. I don’t know who invented soup dumplings, but whoever you are, bless you.

Yu Oughta Know. Lynn Q. Yu’s daily current events email/quiz helps keep me up to date on what’s fresh and exciting in the world, as well as information that just might turn up in competitive trivia sometime in the near future. I’d need more fingers than I have to count the number of times recently that something I only knew because of Lynn’s newsletter fell into my lap during a quiz. Every point matters.

Zot! Cartoonist Scott McCloud might be better known these days for his Eisner Award-winning Understanding Comics and its sequels, but long before those seminal masterworks, he was known for Zot!, a superhero pastiche about a relentlessly positive do-gooder from a utopian parallel Earth. We could all use a bit of Zot’s cheerful optimism these days.

As I express every year, I am thankful for you, friend reader. I hope you’ll use this opportunity to reflect on the people and things for which you’re grateful. May we all survive another circuit around the sun, so that we’ll have even more to celebrate in a year’s time.

SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 17: Global Pandemic Edition

November 27, 2020

Who knew, right?

Anyone who says that they accurately predicted at last Thanksgiving the worldwide horror the calendar would call 2020 CE is peddling a falsehood. None of us saw this coming. Many understood that a global pandemic like the one that swept the planet exactly a century ago could happen at some time, but no one knew that 2020 would be our COVID-19 annus horribilus.

Too much sickness. Too much death. Too much sheltering in place. And way too much conflict over what to do or not do about it. (Seriously, people: Put a mask on. Don’t crowd up. Stay home as much as possible. It sucks. But sickness and death suck more.)

In times like these, though, it’s even more vital to focus on the people and things we are grateful for — and, in fact, to be grateful in general. It’s easy to let so much darkness obscure what light there is, but when we don’t appreciate the light, however small it seems, darkness wins.

Therefore, as is our long-standing (17 years and counting!) tradition in this tiny corner of the Internet, we present our annual outpouring of thanks on this Thanksgiving weekend. Given that I always have far too much in my life to be grateful for, each year I choose 26 items — one for each letter of the alphabet — to stand in for everyone and everything for which I’m offering thanks this year. It keeps the list to a manageable size, and makes certain that the list actually gets done.

I found it tempting, in the face of all that 2020 has thrown at us, to modify the tone or style of this year’s post. I decided that would defeat its purpose. So, even though there will be some direct allusions to the dreadful realities we’ve dealt with this year, much of the list is as it always is: Random, slightly tongue-in-cheek at times, and with an understanding that the seemingly insignificant items on the list underscore a broader perspective that embraces gratitude as an attitude, for the monumental blessings in life as well as for the minuscule.

With that said, at Thanksgiving time in 2020, I’m thankful for:

Aging rockers. Three of my all-time favorite bands seized the year to deliver brand-new studio albums that compare favorably with the best work from their classic periods: Kansas (The Absence of Presence); Blue Öyster Cult (The Symbol Remains); and most recently, AC/DC (Power Up; or, if you want to get strictly typographical about it, PWR/UP). For BÖC, it was their first album in 19 years; for Kansas, their second with current lead vocalist Ronnie Platt (the previous Platt-era effort, 2016’s The Prelude Implicit, is also quite good); for AC/DC, their first since the passing of co-founder Malcolm Young, and a reunion with members Brian Johnson, Cliff Williams, and Phil Rudd, all of whom had departed for various reasons in recent years. To hear these bands, who all began their recording careers in the 1970s (albeit with markedly different lineups), once again producing outstanding music makes my heart sing, and offers me hope in my own down-slope years that greatness remains possible.

Biden/Harris. I don’t typically do politics in public fora, but I can’t express how thrilled I am that the nightmare of Agent Orange is nearly ended, and that actual human beings will be in charge of the country again. I am particularly ecstatic for all of the barriers that Kamala Harris (on whose Senate campaign I was privileged to voice a few ads) will break when she takes office as Vice President.

Chadwick Boseman. 2020 robbed us all of far too much, including the life of this brilliantly talented actor whose charisma lit up the screen like few others. To think that he gave us not only the personification of T’Challa, the Black Panther, in four Marvel Cinematic Universe films, but also stellar performances in Marshall, 21 Bridges, Da 5 Bloods, and the upcoming Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom without the world — or even most of his colleagues — knowing that he was dying of cancer is nothing short of incredible. Rest in power, King.

Dr. Fauci. A national hero, trying to help Americans wrestle with a terrifying unknown while the Clown-In-Chief keeps tying his arms behind his back and spitting in his face. And he never quit.

Español. One of the projects I’ve used in an attempt to maintain sanity during lockdown has been developing my facility in Spanish using the Duolingo app. At this writing, I’ve managed 177 consecutive days of lessons. I’m not fooling myself into thinking I’ll ever be functionally bilingual, but I’ve pretty much resurrected (and likely exceeded) my two years of high school Spanish, and feel certain that I could ask directions to a bus stop or buy a green suitcase in a Spanish-speaking country if the situation arose.

Frontline workers. I can’t say enough how deeply I appreciate the efforts of everyone who’s kept our society running in the face of the pandemic, and especially those whose work presents them with constant exposure risk. That includes the doctors, nurses, and other healthcare staff caring for the infected (more about them later), but also mail carriers, delivery drivers, restaurant cooks and servers, retail clerks, and everyone else for whom showing up and facing the outbreak every day means the rest of us get the things we need to carry on. Thank you all, and God bless you.

Great British Bake-Off. Or Great British Baking Show, as Netflix calls it here in the States to avoid legal action by the Pillsbury people. It’s a joy to tune in each week to watch Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith put a gaggle of flour-dusted Britons through their paces. I still miss former hosts Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins — and more recently, the delightfully droll Sandi Toksvig — but the thematic elements remain the same, and the contestants always seem pleasant and just thrilled to take part. (At this typing, I haven’t yet watched this season’s finale. Don’t spoil it for me.)

Hawkgirl. A fantastic representation of Shiera Hall (or Shayera Hol, if you prefer it in Thanagarian) by Sideshow Collectibles entered my statue collection this year. My rules for adding a new statue: 1. The character has to already be represented multiple times in my art collection. 2. I have to love the piece the first time I see it. (If I don’t love it immediately, it’s not worth buying.) 3. I have to have room in my office/studio for it. Shiera, despite her considerable wingspan, made the cut.

Inspiron. The Pirate Queen recently allowed me to replace my old, agonizingly slow, keyboard-challenged (the O key kept popping off, and the space occasionally has a mind of its own) studio laptop computer with a new desktop model, accompanied by a gorgeous 27″ monitor. I now hunch and squint far less.

Jim Edgar. I am blessed to name as friends a startling array of wonderful people — possibly including you, if you’re reading this. My buddy Jim stands out for his unfailingly kind, generous, and helpful spirit. Jim has made himself a valued and trusted resource within the voiceover industry through his technical expertise, in addition to his phenomenal talents as an actor. I am constantly impressed with the manner in which Jim goes out of his way to advise, inform, and assist his colleagues (who are often potential competitors as well — it’s a tough business) by openly sharing his insights and experience, and his efforts to build a more harmonious community within the profession. I know numerous fellow actors who inspire me to want to be a better actor. Jim inspires me, whenever I observe or interact with him, to want to be a better person. And I’m not alone in that.

Kids, and Kisses. The K’s represent the people who, beyond all else, make my life worth carrying on. The Kids — The Daughter and The Son-In-Law — uplift my heart every day, just by living their lives and being quality people. I couldn’t ask for better. And, here’s the big news: The Kids are expecting their own kid — the first GrandKid — in the coming year. (It’s rumored to be a boy.) They’re also shopping for their first house. “Kisses” represents the Pirate Queen, who always signs her notes to me in that fashion. She uplifts my heart every day, too.

LionSteel. If you asked me at this very moment, “What’s in your pocket?” the answer would be a blue titanium slipjoint knife from LionSteel in Maniago, Italy. There’s another LionSteel slipjoint on my desk, with olivewood scales. They make some really nice knives in Italy.

Medical personnel. We all owe our gratitude to the medical experts who daily labor in the midst of a worldwide health crisis. This includes not only the physicians, nurses, technicians, caregivers, and others who provide direct treatment to those afflicted by COVID-19, but also all those folks behind the scenes in testing labs, and in research facilities working toward safe and effective vaccines against the disease, and better treatments for dealing with it. Pray that their labors prove fruitful.

Nova lox. I don’t know who the person was who first had the idea to smoke a salmon, but that person deserved a hearty handshake. Probably not from the salmon, though.

Online quiz leagues. If there could be said to be an actual upside from the pandemic, it has been the development of a number of online quiz leagues, at first intended as a stopgap in the absence of in-person pub quizzing, but now taking on a life and purpose of their own. I currently participate in two: Quizzing World Cup, based in the UK and comprising teams and players around the globe, and Online Quiz League USA, an offshoot of the original British OQL with material keyed to a North American audience.

Pentatonix. There is no more expressive musical instrument than the human voice, and not many folks demonstrate that more profoundly than the five members of America’s favorite a cappella quintet. When I feel an anxiety attack coming on, one of my most effective therapies is a Pentatonix playlist in my Sennheiser headphones.

Queen’s Gambit. If you haven’t yet binged this charming Netflix limited series starring Anya Taylor-Joy as a brilliant but troubled young chess wizard in the 1960s, do yourself a favor and check it out. I know what you’re thinking: A TV series about chess has to be about as interesting as watching paint dry. Just remember these wise words of the late Roger Ebert: It’s not what the show is about that matters, but how it is about it.

Rocketbook. What seemed at first like a cool novelty item has become an indispensable part of my daily routine. Rocketbook makes an ever-growing variety of products designed around a common theme: Reusable notes. Instead of an endless stack of paper notepads or Post-Its generating scattered castoffs everywhere (if only you’d seen my desk…), Rocketbook notebooks offer a system of reusable pages that can be written on, scanned and stored (if you’re so inclined), then wiped clean and reused again and again. My favorite Rocketbook model is the Flip, which is designed like a steno pad. I keep one next to me at all times for scribbling down quick ideas, or for recording lists of facts I want to reinforce for quizzing. The equally handy Fusion contains templates for calendar and schedule planning. Writing on the Rocketbook’s plastic pages with erasable ink (the system requires Frixion pens and markers, made by Pilot and readily available everywhere) takes a little getting used to, but I’ve found it worth the effort.

Safeway. In these times when spending time indoors in a crowded store presents a considerable health risk, we’ve come to rely on the online order and pickup service provided by the supermarket giant. It took a bit of trial and error to get the system down smoothly, but now after several months, the store we use does a pretty decent job of filling our orders in a timely fashion. It’s made grocery shopping about as safe as it can be during a pandemic, and reasonably efficient.

Trebek. The last 32 years of my life have been indelibly transformed by my experiences on Jeopardy! My two favorite Alex Trebek memories: 1. Alex confused my name with that of another contestant when I won my quarterfinal match in the 1988 Tournament of Champions. It was nice to see that our unflappable host was fallible and human after all. 2. When I won the 1998 Battle of the Bay Area Brains, Alex went out of his way to spend a few minutes at the afterparty chatting with The Daughter, who was nine years old and had never met a celebrity in person. She still treasures the T-shirt Alex signed for her. Rest in peace, Uncle Alex.

Unemployment benefits. Like millions of Americans, the Pirate Queen was — thankfully, very briefly — out of work for a portion of 2020. She had never before in her working life collected unemployment. Having those benefits did not mean the difference between sustenance and survival for us, but they alleviated the burden of worry for the Pirate Queen as she pursued other options. We are acutely aware that many of our fellow citizens are not so fortunate to have the assets we have. It was an important reminder not to take our means for granted — and to have greater compassion for those who are struggling. And here’s another thing: In a society as wealthy as ours, no one should be in danger of going without food or healthcare or losing their home due to circumstances beyond their control, and no one should have to worry that their unemployment checks will stop coming because the government can’t get its collective act together. We have to do better, America.

Vibranium. I hear there’s a mountain of it in Wakanda. but don’t tell anyone I told you.

Wheat Thins. Delicious with any topping, or with none. Do I even need to explain? I didn’t think so.

Xoloitzcuintli. Pronounce it “show-low-eats-QUEENT-lee,” or simply call it a “Show-Low” for short, as most people who own one do. It’s a (mostly) hairless breed of dog, originally from Mexico. Studio Assistant Tazz looks a little bit like a Show-Low, albeit with a full coat of hair. Then again, he’s 50% Chihuahua, so there might be some common ancestry there somewhere.

YouTubers. Keeping me entertained throughout the long days and nights of COVID sequestering has been a smorgasbord of videos on YouTube, both from content creators (including Pete Pardo, host of Sea of Tranquility and Comic Book Geezers, and Dr. Kat Marchant of Reading the Past, among many others I could name) and from those who post content that would otherwise be unavailable. In the latter category, I’m especially grateful for those who diligently upload daily episodes of quiz shows from the UK and Australia. Viewing and playing along with those programs was critical in my preparation for my online quiz leagues, and for… other things that I can add to my Thanksgiving list next year.

Zoom. The video conferencing service has been a genuine boon in keeping us all connected to the people — whether family and friends, or work collaborators — from whom we are physically distanced by the present distress. It’s not the same as being together, but it’s decidedly better than not seeing others at all.

As always, friend reader, I’m thankful for you, and for your continued visits to this blog. I sincerely hope that you and those you love stay safe and well during this crisis, and that we all have a return to some semblance of normal life — whatever that means — to be grateful for at this time next year.

The Steely Dan 64 Project, Song 1

March 25, 2020

[NOTE: The Steely Dan 64 Project represents my ranking, in order of my personal preference, of the 64 songs released by Steely Dan during their “classic” period (1972-80). These links will connect you to a detailed introduction to the project, as well as notes on the songs I’ve numbered 64 through 57; songs 56 through 49; songs 48 through 41; songs 40 through 33; songs 32 through 25; songs 24 through 17; songs 16 through 13; songs 12 through 9; songs 8 and 7; songs 6 and 5; song 4; song 3; and song 2.]


1. Kid Charlemagne (The Royal Scam)
Is there gas in the car?
Yes, there’s gas in the car
I think the people down the hall
Know who you are

We’ve counted upward through 64 classic tracks to reach the pinnacle of the Steely Dan catalog. As I’ve said throughout this project, not a single one of these 64 songs sucks. Half or more of them stand among the finest recordings made during the rock era. Any of the final seven or eight that we’ve covered in this ranking could easily merit consideration as Number One. Indeed, among the seemingly infinite iterations of this list that I devised on my path to this point, each of the top seven landed in first place at least once.

So why did “Kid Charlemagne” end up on top?

My glib response: “Two words — Larry Carlton.”

But there’s so much more to it than just that.

“Kid Charlemagne” is, as is generally well known by this late date, based on the activities of a guy named Augustus Owsley Stanley III, nicknamed “The Bear,” who worked as a sound technician for rock bands (most notably, the Grateful Dead) in the 1960s and early 1970s. When not designing and maintaining high-powered audio systems (and, according to legend, co-creating the Dead’s now-familiar skull-and-lightning-bolt logo), Stanley was in his bathroom laboratory cooking up high-powered LSD. He quickly gained renown as a purveyor of quality acid, becoming the preferred provider of same to musicians and other celebrities in the psychedelic scene.

I don’t know whether Donald Fagen and Walter Becker knew Stanley personally, or merely by reputation, but they used his career — specifically, the raid in 1967 that led to Stanley’s two-year imprisonment — as the inspiration for “Kid Charlemagne.” (They weren’t the first, incidentally. The Grateful Dead songs “Alice D. Millionaire” and “Truckin’,” Frank Zappa’s “Who Needs the Peace Corps?,” and Jefferson Airplane’s “Mexico” either allude to or specifically mention Stanley; all four predate “Kid Charlemagne” by several years.)

The narrative of a drug kingpin riding high until it all goes sideways provokes some of Becker and Fagen’s most memorable lyrics:

Did you feel like Jesus? Did you realize that you were a champion in their eyes?

On the hill the stuff was laced with kerosene, but yours was kitchen clean / Everyone stopped to stare at your Technicolor motor home

And of course, perhaps the most quotable Steely Dan couplet of all:

Is there gas in the car? Yes, there’s gas in the car…

It’s stunning storytelling, even from two scribes supremely skilled in weaving wicked tales.

But then, we have to talk about the music. Which means that, yes, we have to talk about Larry Carlton.

Can I say that Carlton’s incredible guitar solo is the greatest guitar solo in the history of recorded rock? I probably wouldn’t go that far — although I’m struggling to come up with all that many better candidates. There is, however, an undeniable genius to Carlton’s effort; a constantly shifting fusillade of jazz chords and progressions that somehow fits perfectly within the context of a rock song — a straight-ahead pop-rocker propelled by a funky, almost quasi-disco undercurrent. And yet, Carlton brings the full weight of his prodigious fusion chops to his solo without it feeling out of place for so much as a single note.

I listened to Carlton’s playing on “Kid Charlemagne” a couple dozen times while preparing to write this essay. Thanks to YouTube, I was even able to listen to it in isolation from the rest of the track. I never got bored of hearing it; with every pass, I heard some nuance or technique that I’d never picked up on before. For example, did you ever notice that Carlton plays the last few notes of his solo by tapping the strings on his guitar’s fretboard, the style that Eddie Van Halen would make famous years later? Sheer brilliance.

Equally brilliant is the way the other musicians line up to support what Carlton is doing. In particular, the rhythm section of Chuck Rainey (bass) and Bernard Purdie (drums) digs into the groove so snugly that you couldn’t pry them out with a crowbar. The electric keyboards — a collaborative effort involving Fagen on organ, Don Grolnick on the Fender Rhodes, and Paul Griffin on clavinet — alternately push forward and swirl underneath, but never get in the way. And Fagen, with stellar support from his cast of backing singers, delivers one of his most gleefully sardonic vocal performances ever.

The result is a quintessentially Steely Dan track that isn’t stereotypical Steely Dan, if that makes sense. “Kid Charlemagne” forms, I believe, the nexus between what Becker and Fagen had been doing from the very beginning — this song fits just fine alongside early Dan numbers like “Reelin’ in the Years” — and what the Dan would morph into from this point forward. It’s an ideal blend of the Dan’s past and its upcoming.

Plus a metric boatload of Larry Carlton.

That’s why “Kid Charlemagne” wins the grand prize trophy for me.

So, that’s it, then. Sixty-four amazing songs, ranked as I hear and feel them. How did your own ranking — I presume you were (at least mentally) doing your own, for the sake of comparison — turn out? What was your #1 in the Steely Dan 64?

The Steely Dan 64 Project, Song 2

March 23, 2020

[NOTE: The Steely Dan 64 Project represents my ranking, in order of my personal preference, of the 64 songs released by Steely Dan during their “classic” period (1972-80). These links will connect you to a detailed introduction to the project, as well as notes on the songs I’ve numbered 64 through 57; songs 56 through 49; songs 48 through 41; songs 40 through 33; songs 32 through 25; songs 24 through 17; songs 16 through 13; songs 12 through 9; songs 8 and 7; songs 6 and 5; song 4; and song 3.]


2. Deacon Blues (Aja)
You call me a fool
You say it’s a crazy scheme
This one’s for real
I already bought the dream

If music can be described as “glossy,” then “Deacon Blues” is glossy.

It shimmers and shines in a way that almost feels visual, even though the experience itself is entirely auditory.

Perhaps more than any other single track in the Steely Dan catalog — with the possible exception of its album mate, the title tune “Aja” — “Deacon Blues” represents the fullest realization of the Becker/Fagen aesthetic. This is that “thing,” for lack of a more effective word, that the duo had been driving toward since the beginning of their collaboration, and with stronger force since their disassembly of the core band post-Pretzel Logic.

Like “FM,” which it greatly resembles — right down to the Pete Christlieb tenor saxophone solo — “Deacon Blues” feels very much “lived-in” for me personally. The imagery of a man coming to grips with the intangibility of his hopes and dreams resonated powerfully with me when this song first hit my turntable (it was a thing, kids; look it up). The teenage angst of my early college years fit right alongside the midlife-crisis vibe. I listened to “Deacon Blues” frequently during that period — and by “frequently,” I mean several times back-to-back on days when I felt the yearning.

As Steely Dan songs go, “Deacon Blues” feels more transparent and accessible than many. The lyric dances through plenty of Becker and Fagen’s signature obtuse wordplay, but even when the references seem muddled — is “Deacon” a shout-out to the Wake Forest Demon Deacons, or to NFL Hall of Fame defensive end David “Deacon” Jones? (hint: it’s the latter) — the thematic thread is crystal clear. Doubtless, this played some part in the tune’s chart success: it climbed to #19 (there’s that number again) on the Billboard Hot 100, making it the fifth Steely Dan single to hit the Top Twenty.

Part of what makes “Deacon Blues” so compelling for me is the rich musical tapestry over which Fagen and the female backup vocalists (the ineffable trio of Venetta Fields, Clydie King, and Sherlie Matthews once again) weave their story. Longtime Dan sideman Victor Feldman opens the proceedings on electric piano. Three superlative guitarists (Larry Carlton and Lee Ritenour on electric, Dean Parks on acoustic) counterbalance a smooth-as-satin Tom Scott horn chart. Becker on bass and drummer Bernard “Pretty” Purdie lock down an easy-swinging rhythm. It all just melds. Like a perfectly grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

I’ve already mentioned the Pete Christlieb sax solo — at the time of the session, the Bard brothers only knew Christlieb from his work in the house band on the Tonight Show. The veteran jazzman came into the studio and laid down two improvisational runs — a rarity in working with the persnickety Becker and Fagen, who were notorious for demanding endless retakes before finding one acceptable. Christlieb’s second shot is the one that appears on the recording.

So, yeah. I love “Deacon Blues.” Love, love, love “Deacon Blues.”

Why, then, is it #2 in my rankings, and not #1?

Because #1 has many of the same benefits, but it also adds one other key element that makes it an exceptional track.

You already know — assuming you’ve been keeping tally — what #1 is.

We’ll talk about it in our next post.

The Steely Dan 64 Project, Song 4

March 20, 2020

[NOTE: The Steely Dan 64 Project represents my ranking, in order of my personal preference, of the 64 songs released by Steely Dan during their “classic” period (1972-80). These links will connect you to a detailed introduction to the project, as well as notes on the songs I’ve numbered 64 through 57; songs 56 through 49; songs 48 through 41; songs 40 through 33; songs 32 through 25; songs 24 through 17; songs 16 through 13]; songs 12 through 9; songs 8 and 7; and songs 6 and 5.]

Thanks (but no thanks) to COVID-19, the NCAA has no March Madness this year. Here at the Steely Dan 64 Project, however, we’re plunging ahead with our own Final Four. It starts here.


4. FM (No Static At All) (FM Soundtrack)
Give her some funked-up Muzak, she treats you nice
Feed her some hungry reggae, she’ll love you twice
The girls don’t seem to care tonight
As long as the mood is right

As you’ve surmised by now, there are some Steely Dan tracks that I’ve lived with rather deeply. There are, however, few that I’ve lived with to the degree that I’ve lived with “FM.”

I’ve mentioned here before that, for the better part of two years, I worked at a college radio station in Malibu. Over the course of that time, I wore a number of hats: traffic manager (the person who organizes the schedule and identifies when commercials run); associate music director; baseball play-by-play broadcaster; and chief engineer for sports broadcasts. In and around all of the above, I was a disc jockey — originally on Saturday nights, then mid-mornings a couple of days per week. Plus, I filled in often when other on-air talent didn’t show. (We’re talking about college kids here, so that happened a lot.)

Unlike many college stations, which lean into alternative music genres that don’t get played much on commercial radio, our station’s daytime format corresponded to what most radio stations called “adult contemporary” or “light pop-rock.” Quite a few local businesses used our feed as background noise, so we couldn’t play anything too loud or aggressive in tone during daylight hours. And thus, whenever I went on the air in the morning, I kicked off my shift with Steely Dan’s “FM.”

To this day, I can still improvise a DJ break that exactly fills the 26 seconds of this track’s instrumental intro, and land the station ID a hair’s breadth before Donald Fagen’s vocal kicks in. The Pirate Queen — like a major dude — will tell you. I do it in the car every time “FM” comes on the radio.

“FM” occupies an unusual place in the Steely Dan catalog. It’s the only Dan single that didn’t come from one of their albums; it was recorded during the Aja sessions — and is stylistically similar to the material on that album — but was not included on that release. It’s the only official Steely Dan song recorded specifically for a movie soundtrack; Becker and Fagen produced the music for an independent film, You’ve Got to Walk It Like You Talk It, but that happened before the band’s formation. It’s the only track from the Dan’s classic period on which Becker (guitars and bass) and Fagen (piano) play most of the primary instruments (frequent collaborator Jeff Porcaro plays drums, while Pete Christleib adds the saxophone solo). It’s also one of only two Dan tracks that uses strings (“Through With Buzz,” on Pretzel Logic, is the other).

Worthy of note: three members of the Eagles — Timothy Schmit (who made guest appearances on several other Dan tracks), Don Henley, and Glenn Frey — chime in with backing vocals here. We’ve noted previously that Becker and Fagen name-checked that legendary SoCal band in “Everything You Did” on The Royal Scam, only to receive a callback in the Eagles’ “Hotel California.” The two groups shared common management, and I shudder to imagine what else.

I always enjoyed spinning “FM” on my strictly formatted FM station precisely because the lyrics torpedo the blandness of that era and style of radio, and I knew that almost no one else would get the joke.

So far as was ever communicated to me, no one in the station hierarchy ever did.

Next up: Song #3.

The Steely Dan 64 Project, Songs 6 and 5

March 18, 2020

[NOTE: The Steely Dan 64 Project represents my ranking, in order of my personal preference, of the 64 songs released by Steely Dan during their “classic” period (1972-80). These links will connect you to a detailed introduction to the project, as well as notes on the songs I’ve numbered 64 through 57; songs 56 through 49; songs 48 through 41; songs 40 through 33; songs 32 through 25; songs 24 through 17; songs 16 through 13]; songs 12 through 9; and songs 8 and 7.]


And then there were six.

6. Any Major Dude Will Tell You (Pretzel Logic)
Have you ever seen a squonk’s tears?
Well, look at mine
The people on the street have all seen better times

For the longest time, I had no idea what a squonk was. Okay, full disclosure: for the longest time, I had no idea what Donald Fagen was even saying in that line. Was it skunk? Spark? Spock? And why would any of those shed tears? (Especially Spock.)

Only decades later would I discover that the actual word was squonk. And only quite some time after that, when my buddy Tom Galloway explained it to me in detail, would I understand the significance of a squonk’s tears. Fortunately for you, there’s Wikipedia. (I’ll save you a click: a squonk is a grotesque mythical creature, allegedly native to Pennsylvania, that literally cries itself into a puddle of tears when frightened.)

When I say that Steely Dan got me through my college years, “Any Major Dude Will Tell You” is one of two songs — the second of which we have yet to cover in this ranking list — that played the largest role. There were days (and nights) when I played this track over and over, and over again, as a reminder to myself that things that seem horrific in the moment — as they often do, when one is in one’s salad days; young and green — eventually get better. True, sometimes they don’t get better. But that would make for a far less repeatable song.

Compared to the majority of tunes in the Steely Dan catalog, “Any Major Dude” (I’m just going to start conserving keystrokes now) is a simple song with a simple message. That’s part of its beauty; you don’t expect anything this direct and uplifting from the two guys Jay Black (of Jay and the Americans) referred to as “Manson and Starkweather,” so it comes as a pleasant surprise. It’s also a surprise that this track, one of the catchiest and most accessible in the Dan’s oeuvre, wasn’t released as a single; instead, it featured as the B-side (look it up, whippersnappers) to “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number.”

Dean Parks opens the song with a light acoustic guitar riff, followed by both Fagen and David Paich (later of Toto) on electric piano. Denny Dias handles the brief guitar solo. Those are the highlights. Sometimes, as in this instance, that’s all you need.

Given everything that’s going on in the world at the time of this writing, we all could benefit from the refrain: “When the demon is at your door, in the morning it won’t be there no more… any major dude will tell you.” Let’s all hope the major dudes have this one pegged.

5. Hey Nineteen (Gaucho)
It’s hard times befallen
The Soul Survivors
She thinks I’m crazy
But I’m just growing old

Those of you who know me in the real world know that 19 is a special number to me. Both my birthday and my late first wife KJ’s fall on the 19th of their respective months; we chose as our wedding date the 19th of the month in between them. I was 19 when KJ and I began dating, in a year whose digits added up to 19. Our daughter, whose birthday does not fall on a 19th, still chose a 19th as her wedding date to honor both her mother and me. It stands to reason, then, that “Hey Nineteen” would be one of my favorite songs by my favorite musical act. If you think I’m kidding about that, know that I drove around with these license plates on my car for a lot of years.


(And no, COVID-19 certainly does not count as “special.”)

Today, “Hey Nineteen” would probably be entitled “Okay Boomer” and written from the perspective of the young woman. But this is Steely Dan, and it was 1980, so instead the lyric follows the mindpath of a man approaching middle age who finds himself on a date with a teenager just a year past legal, and discovers that the two of them have nothing to say to one another. (Becker and Fagen were both in their early 30s when Gaucho was released, but I’ve always envisioned the protagonist of “Hey Nineteen” as somewhat older than that; late 30s or early 40s.)

Of course, for a lot of men of a certain age, the prospect of hooking up with a girl still young enough to warrant the use of that word would be a fantasy come true. Typical of the Dan, however, this song serves as musical reinforcement of the ancient maxim, “Be careful what you wish for — you might get it.” Our hapless narrator has to come to grips with the fact that his companion doesn’t relate to any of the things that are important to him, including music: she doesn’t even know who Aretha Franklin, the Queen of Soul, is. (For a contemporary parallel, think of today’s 18-year-old pop music wunderkind Billie Eilish, who, in a recent interview with Jimmy Kimmel, didn’t know who Van Halen were.)

Fagen’s character pushes past his middle-aged angst with chemical assistance from “the Cuervo Gold” and “the fine Columbian,” and by focusing on the fact that his young companion “sure looks good” when she dances. But listening along, we know this interaction won’t end happily. Miss Nineteen will move on to more age-appropriate social connections — or perhaps won’t; patterns sometimes become habits — and our narrator will resign himself to loneliness until the next Nineteen comes along… because again, patterns sometimes become habits.

“Hey Nineteen” slides perfectly into the pocket of Gaucho‘s easy-rolling soul-jazz groove. A couple of musical choices catch my attention upon repeated listening. One, while Steely Dan frequently made sterling use of female backup choruses — at least, when not exploiting the talents of Michael McDonald — this song employs a pair of male vocalists (Frank Floyd and Zachary Sanders) in much the same way. Contextually, this makes sense; the male voices subtly echo the insecurities spinning in the narrator’s head. Second, the rhythm section plays a particularly vital role here. Becker on bass and Rick Marotta on drums lay down a deceptively casual floor for the rest of the instruments — most memorably, Fagen’s synthesizer — to glide over.

Peaking at #10 on the Billboard Hot 100, “Hey Nineteen” marked Steely Dan’s third and final foray into the Top Ten (following “Do It Again” and “Rikki Don’t Lose That Number”). For an act that produced so many enduring radio staples, the Dan rarely managed a major chart splash.

But when they hit, they hit.

The Final Four arrive next. And in all honesty, any of these last four could be #1, depending on my mood. (The same is true of both of the songs covered in this post, each of which was #1 at various points.) This ranking will represent the mood I was in the day I pronounced this project completed.

The Steely Dan 64 Project, Songs 8 and 7

March 16, 2020

[NOTE: The Steely Dan 64 Project represents my ranking, in order of my personal preference, of the 64 songs released by Steely Dan during their “classic” period (1972-80). These links will connect you to a detailed introduction to the project, as well as notes on the songs I’ve numbered 64 through 57; songs 56 through 49; songs 48 through 41; songs 40 through 33; songs 32 through 25; songs 24 through 17; songs 16 through 13]; and songs 12 through 9.]


During the course of this project, there was a high degree of scrambling and shuffling of my ratings chart. (For those who are curious, I used an iPad app called Cardflow that enabled me to create individual cards — think index cards or Post-It notes — for each of the 64 songs, then move them around the screen at will. I’ll post a screenshot of my working chart in the final post.) Certain songs made dramatic moves up or down in the ratings, sometimes even as I was composing posts that included those songs.

My Top Eight, however, were set pretty solidly from the very beginning. The only real movement here was internal; the order of these eight did shuffle around a good deal. Seven of my Top Eight occupied the Number One position in at least one iteration, which tells you just how much all of these songs mean to me, and how small the distinctions are between them. On any given day, I might rethink and re-sort these into yet another different order. (At one point, I just had to stop myself and say, “No more finagling — this is the order I’m going with.”) But at this juncture, I don’t believe that any of the songs we’ll review from here on would ever fall lower than eighth.

Let’s begin the ascent to the summit.

8. Here at the Western World (Greatest Hits)
In the night you hide from the madman
You’re longing to be
But it all comes out on the inside

Of all of the songs in this list of 64, “Here at the Western World” is probably the least familiar to the casual Steely Dan fan. Recorded during the sessions for The Royal Scam, Becker and Fagen elected not to use it either on that album or its followup, Aja.

I’m not sure why that decision was made. “Here at the Western World” compares favorably with the material on both of the aforementioned albums; if you’ve been keeping score, you’ve already figured out that I’ve only ranked one track from each of those albums higher than this. Sonically and tonally, “Western World” fits more seamlessly with the Aja material than with The Royal Scam, so perhaps Walter and Donald decided to reserve it from Scam in favor of their next record, then either forgot about it or didn’t have room for it when Aja‘s track list was being compiled.

Whatever occurred there, the Dan’s delay in creating their next studio album after Aja convinced ABC Records, their label at the time, to release a Greatest Hits set. Someone, somewhere, was inspired to resurrect “Here at the Western World” as a bonus cut on that compilation. And while it’s not truly a “greatest hit,” in that it was never released as a single and never charted, it definitely stands — in my opinion, and I’m the one writing here — among the very finest tracks the Dan ever produced.

As is usually the case with the boys from Bard, it’s tough to be 100% certain what “Here at the Western World” is about. It’s possible to interpret the titular location as either a bordello or a drug den or possibly both; I favor the first interpretation, but I wouldn’t argue with the others. The lyrics here are, even for the Dan, particularly twisty and sly. In any case, it’s yet another opportunity for Fagen and Becker to explore a slice of urban life’s seedy underbelly, as they were frequently wont to do.

From a musical perspective, it’s a beautifully simple song; for a team that excelled at devising spectacularly complex arrangements and tonalities, Becker and Fagen accomplished some of their most memorable work when they stripped everything down to basics. The entire musical corps supplies subtle support. Michael Omartian delivers a lovely, lilting piano backdrop, counterpointed against the rock-steady rhythm section of Bernard “Pretty” Purdie on drums and Chuck Rainey on bass. Similarly, Fagen’s vocal is buoyed by an all-female chorus; this time, it’s Leslie Miller, Casey Syszik, and Florence Warner. Frequent Dan sideman Dean Parks slips in a tasteful guitar solo just to round things out.

If you’ve never heard “Here at the Western World” — or even if you have — click the link above and immerse yourself in some Steely deliciousness. You’ll be glad you did.

7. Doctor Wu (Katy Lied)
Katy lies
You can see it in her eyes
But imagine my surprise
When I saw you

Are you with me, Doctor Woods?

That’s Phil Woods, whose alto sax solo provides the instrumental highlight of “Doctor Wu.” Becker and Fagen always did a superlative job of roping in top sidemen — once they had decided that a set band lineup didn’t put enough tools in their toolbox — and Phil Woods was about as top as sidemen got. I mean, Phil Woods was so close to being the next Charlie “Bird” Parker that he actually married Parker’s former common-law wife, Chan. (You could say that she had a type, and that type was world-class saxophone players.)

If you were Walter and Donald, who so idolized Parker that they wrote a song about him (“Parker’s Band”), and you can’t get Parker to play on one of your records — mostly because he died 17 years before you started making records — the next best thing would be Phil Woods. (Billy Joel thought so too; that’s Woods playing sax on Joel’s megahit “Just the Way You Are.”)

Now, “Doctor Wu” would be an excellent song even without Woods’s sax solo. Start with one of the catchiest, hookiest, most unavoidably infectious lyrics of any Dan song — seriously, try listening to this track and not walk away singing, “Are you with me, Doctor Wu? Are you really just a shadow of the man that I once knew?” Add one of Fagen’s warmest, most engaging vocal performances; sprinkle in a soupçon of drummer Jeff Porcaro’s sneaky-tight percussion; and you’ve got a recipe for bliss.

As for the title character himself, I’ve read numerous articles over the years that purported that there was a real-life Doctor Wu — maybe a psychiatrist, maybe a pharmacist, maybe a plastic surgeon to the stars. Becker and Fagen always maintained that Wu was fictional and metaphoric, though they didn’t always agree what the metaphor was supposed to be. Becker once claimed that Wu represented a breach of trust between a patient and physician; Fagen said in an interview that Wu was the personification of a drug addiction.

You believe what you choose. Just don’t ask Katy. She lies.

Next up: Songs #5 and #6. Where will your favorite land on my scale?

The Steely Dan 64 Project, Songs 12-9

March 13, 2020

[NOTE: The Steely Dan 64 Project represents my ranking, in order of my personal preference, of the 64 songs released by Steely Dan during their “classic” period (1972-80). These links will connect you to a detailed introduction to the project, as well as notes on the songs I’ve numbered 64 through 57; songs 56 through 49; songs 48 through 41; songs 40 through 33; songs 32 through 25; songs 24 through 17; and songs 16 through 13.]


12. Black Friday (Katy Lied)
When Black Friday comes
I’ll fly down to Muswellbrook
Gonna strike all the big red words
From my little black book

One of the underrated boons of the Internet is easy access to song lyrics, something that in less technological times, people had to decipher for themselves more often than not. For years, I puzzled over the word — or was it a phrase? — in the second verse of “Black Friday.” Was it “my swell brook”? “Mizewell Brook”? “Muscle Well Broke”?

As it turns out, the word is “Muswellbrook.” It’s a small town in New South Wales, Australia, about 150 miles north of Sydney. No one is quite sure how the place came to be called Muswellbrook; the best guess is that it was originally designated “Mussel Creek,” which became “Muscle Creek” before morphing into “Muscle Brook” and eventually Muswellbrook. Or perhaps, as allegedly happened with Istanbul, people just liked it better that way.

Becker and Fagen chose the name-check for their tune about a scurrilous financier absconding with funds because it sounded like a nicely remote place to run off to if you were a fugitive from Los Angeles. Also, it rhymed with “book.”

Musically, this one’s got everything you want: a driving beat, pushed along with aplomb by Jeff Porcaro on drums (not many Steely Dan joints can be described as “danceable,” but “Black Friday” certainly is); a catchy, clever, hook-laden lyric; and a propulsive guitar solo by Walter Becker, wringing the snot out of Denny Dias’s Telecaster. People who think of every Dan track as “yacht rock” need to hear them just plain rock, and that’s what they do on “Black Friday.” (That, and maybe wrestle over a cheap flatscreen at Target.)

Then again, for some of us, every Friday is Black Friday.

11. Peg (Aja)
I like your pin shot
I keep it with your letter
Done up in blueprint blue
It sure looks good on you

Rumor has it that this song recalls the brief life of Peg Entwhistle, a wannabe starlet in the early days of the LA film industry who committed suicide by jumping off the Hollywood sign (it read “Hollywoodland” then) in 1932. To the best that I can determine, Fagen and Becker never confirmed this — they rarely have confirmed speculation about any song they wrote — and I suppose that explanation works. I always thought it was about a young actress being seduced by a sleazy producer into making films “for mature audiences.” Either way, the grimy underlying narrative is offset by as bright and bouncy a melody as the boys from Bard ever penned.

The most famous anecdote concerning “Peg” surrounds the quasi-Hawaiian guitar solo by Jay Graydon. By the time of Aja, Becker and Fagen had become so anal-retentive that they would routinely bring in multiple session musicians to record parts to their songs, discarding everything but the one track that met their specifications. Six other guitarists took a whack at the “Peg” solo before Graydon, in a day-long marathon involving countless takes, finally nailed it. It’s no wonder that Graydon switched from playing to producing shortly after the Aja sessions, going on to success helming albums for the Manhattan Transfer and numerous other acts. I’d have probably hung up my axe too.

In a nod to our repeated mantra that Michael McDonald makes everything better, let’s mention that McDonald’s multitracked backing vocals (pianist Paul Griffin also contributed; he’s the one muttering incomprehensibly late in the song) are probably the feature of “Peg” that everyone remembers. Has any background singer ever squeezed as much juice out of a single syllable as McDonald does with his punctuating “Peg”? Consider that lily gilded.

10. Rikki Don’t Lose That Number (Pretzel Logic)
I have a friend in town, he’s heard your name
We can go out driving on Slow Hand Row
We could stay inside and play games, I don’t know
And you could have a change of heart

What often gets lost in the Steely Dan discussion is the fact that, despite their penchant for elaborate arrangements and jazz-influenced solos, Becker and Fagen spent their classic period creating — for the most part — relatively compact, radio-friendly songs. At the time of Pretzel Logic, for example — the Dan’s last pretense at being an actual band with regular members beyond the Dynamic Duo — they were filling albums with tunes timing in at around three minutes. “Rikki” ties with the title track as the longest selection on the record, and it’s only four-and-a-half minutes. Not too long for a single, even in the fast-moving ’70s.

“Rikki” would become the Dan’s all-time biggest chart hit, peaking at #4 on the Billboard Hot 100. [“Do It Again,” their debut single (#4), and “Hey Nineteen,” the lead single from their last classic-period album (#10), would be the group’s only forays into the Top Ten.] Even now, 45 years after its release, Victor Feldman’s bizarre marimba noodling makes the song’s intro immediately identifiable.

It’s funny now to think that for many years, everyone thought “Rikki” was about a drug dealer and his client. The reality is much simpler. The real-life Rikki was a girl Walter Becker knew and crushed on during his Bard College days. She didn’t reciprocate his interest, at least not to the same level. The song, written in the days before Steely Dan was yet a thing, is about Becker’s earnest attempts at connecting with this aloof would-be paramour. That number, so important for Rikki not to lose, was Walter’s.

9. Black Cow (Aja)
Just when it seems so clear
That it’s over now
Drink your big Black Cow
And get out of here

For the record, I’ve never consumed a Black Cow: a kind of alcoholic milkshake consisting of Kahlua (a sweet coffee-flavored liqueur imported from Mexico), half-and-half, and cola. Which sounds, frankly, like something a stoner with the munchies would dream up if challenged to create a cocktail. The strange brew that is “Black Cow” the song, however, goes down even more smoothly and sweetly than its namesake drink.

Here’s an odd casting choice: drummer Paul Humphreys, who makes his only Steely Dan session appearance on this track, was for many years the drummer for Lawrence Welk, the king of sanitized Muzak for elderly white folks. But let’s not hold that against the man — a cat’s gotta eat, right? Before settling in to tap out rhythms behind champagne music, Humphreys was a veteran jazz session player alongside everyone from John Coltrane to Wes Montgomery, and who recorded and toured with such diverse popular music stars as Marvin Gaye, Jerry Garcia, and Sammy Davis, Jr.

Speaking of casting, let’s give a shout-out to the ladies of the chorus, who carry even more of the weight on this number than they often did. Steely Dan employed teams of soulful female vocalists on recordings all the way back to their debut album (for example, “Dirty Work” on Can’t Buy a Thrill). For “Black Cow,” the Dan enlisted the quartet of Clydie King, Sherlie Matthews, Venetta Fields, and Rebecca Louis to glide along with Fagen as he wove this tale of a crumbling relationship with a drunken and dissolute lover. The counterpoint between the silky tones of the women and Donald’s nasal growl lends the song a subtle irony.

Also, we have to talk about Tom Scott. The legendary sax man contributes both a stylish solo and some stellar horn arrangements here. Scott’s impact would be even more powerfully felt on the Dan’s subsequent album, Gaucho.

Fun fact: Of the seven classic-period Steely Dan albums, two open with a song whose title begins with “Black.” And we’ve covered them both in this post.

Top Eight next. The pure cream rises to the surface.

The Steely Dan 64 Project, Songs 16-13

March 10, 2020

[NOTE: The Steely Dan 64 Project represents my ranking, in order of my personal preference, of the 64 songs released by Steely Dan during their “classic” period (1972-80). These links will connect you to a detailed introduction to the project, as well as notes on the songs I’ve numbered 64 through 57; songs 56 through 49; songs 48 through 41; songs 40 through 33; songs 32 through 25; and songs 24 through 17.]


Here, we begin our ascent into the Top Sixteen. We’ll narrow the focus from eight songs per post to four from here on, just to give ourselves room to breathe. It’s going to get stratospheric on the remainder of our journey up the charts.

16. Night By Night (Pretzel Logic)
“It’s a beggar’s life,” said the Queen of Spain
But don’t tell it to a poor man
‘Cause he’s got to kill for every thrill
The best he can

“Night By Night” has always struck me as the ideal theme song for a cool neo-noir detective film set in the ’70s. It just has that vibe. Whenever I listen to this tune, I envision a flinty-eyed tough guy wearing impeccably tailored dark suits over a leather shoulder holster, driving a black Buick Electra 225 (what we used to call a “Deuce and a Quarter” back in the day) down a rain-slick, neon-glossy Sunset Boulevard. And his hair? Perfect.

Everything you need to know musically about “Night By Night” is right here: Jeff Porcaro, who delivers a lockdown drum beat so crisp you want to dunk it in coffee, was just 18 years old when he played this session. Think about that. When I was 18, the only drumstick I could handle was fried and came from a chicken. The young Mr. Porcaro’s stunning work on this track led to Becker and Fagen bringing him back for the entirety of their next album, Katy Lied. And of course, he would go on to a bazillion other sessions, and some little rock combo that had a hit or three. You’ve probably heard of them. I think they were named after a dog in some old movie.

But not the movie to which “Night By Night” would be the theme. There’s no dog in that one.

15. Babylon Sisters (Gaucho)
Well, I should know by now
That it’s just a spasm
Like a Sunday in TJ
That it’s cheap, but it’s not free

One of the many things Steely Dan did better than practically any other band before or since was choose absolutely perfect tracks to open each of their albums. Every one of the seven studio releases during their classic period kicks off with a number that just sucks you in, and makes you need — not want, but need — to hear the rest of the record.

“Babylon Sisters,” the initial track on the Dan’s last album of the period, is no exception. By the time Gaucho debuted in 1980, fans had been waiting three years since the precedent-shattering Aja to find out how in the world Becker and Fagen would follow up that magnum opus. Then the needle finally hit the vinyl, and we heard Bernard Purdie’s signature shuffle drop in, followed by Chuck Rainey’s throbbing bass line, and then that almost mystically gliding electric piano riff by Don Grolnick. We all breathed a sigh of relief and whispered, “Oh, yeah… they’ve got this.”

When Patti Austin and her vocal crew sail in to sing, “Here come those Santa Ana winds again,” I’m swept back to a Sunday night in late August 40 years ago. I’m sitting on a concrete staircase on a hillside in Malibu, chatting with a girl I had met just a few hours before, already starting to feel the stirrings of that magical sensation that young love generates. As we sit and talk, a warm stiff breeze blows in from the southeast. My companion, a native of the Pacific Northwest who is new to southern California, wonders aloud where that weirdly hot wind is coming from. And I explain to her what a Santa Ana is.

She would hear a lot of Steely Dan in the weeks and months that follow.

14. Pretzel Logic (Pretzel Logic)
I have never met Napoleon
But I plan to find the time
‘Cause he looks so fine upon that hill
They tell me he was lonely, he’s lonely still

Part of the joy of listening to Steely Dan comes from attempting to decipher Becker and Fagen’s cryptic, convoluted lyrics. In this particular instance, however, they tell us out front that there’s no point in that: the name of the song is “Pretzel Logic.” I’m reasonably certain that the boys from Bard had something in mind when they wrote this, but all these decades later, I still have no idea what that something is. Fagen once stated that the song is about time travel. To which I can only say… okay?

This bluesy track — somewhat unusual in the Steely Dan canon, which tends to tilt more toward jazz than blues in terms of influences — finds Walter Becker playing lead guitar for the first time on a Dan album; prior to this, Becker primarily played bass, while Denny Dias and Jeff “Skunk” Baxter handled the guitar chores. As a guitarist, Becker lacks Baxter’s flash and Dias’s crystalline technique, but when he steps forward to grind out a solo, he delivers it with a melancholy soulfulness that packs an emotional punch. Here, he leans into the blues without leaving his more experimental predilections behind entirely.

It’s worth noting that “Pretzel Logic” offers, in my estimation, one of Fagen’s finest vocal performances. There’s a lightness — dare I say, joy — to his singing on this track that I’ve always found appealing. He gets an assist in the choruses from future Eagle Timothy B. Schmit, who’s not a bad guy to have singing harmonies if you haven’t yet discovered Michael McDonald.

As for Napoleon, I’m still waiting to find the time.

13. The Caves of Altamira (The Royal Scam)
On the stone an ancient hand
In a faded yellow-green
Made alive a worldly wonder
Often told, but never seen

In 1955, a German author named Hans Baumann wrote a book entitled The Caves of the Great Hunters, in which two young boys stumble upon some prehistoric paintings on the walls of a cave. Years later, Becker and Fagen thought the theme of the book would make an interesting basis for a pop-rock song. You know… as one would.

(It should be noted — because someone is bound to point it out if I don’t — that there was a period early in his life during which Hans Baumann was a straight-up Nazi; not in the generic “I don’t agree with that guy politically so I’m going to call him the worst name I can think of” sense, but in the actual Deutschland-uber-alles, Hitler-saluting sense. Post-World War II, Baumann sort of handwaved his Nazi past and became an internationally acclaimed writer of children’s books, of which The Caves of the Great Hunters was but one. This is not to suggest in any way that there’s anything even remotely fascist about this song. It’s just that, well, life is complicated.)

As we’ve seen in the posts leading up to this one, Steely Dan’s catalog teems with fascinating deep cuts. “The Caves of Altamira” is a brilliant example of a Dan song that most casual listeners aren’t familiar with, but that everyone should be. Not only is the lyrical subject matter unique — quick, name all the other songs that you can think of that use Paleolithic cave art as a metaphor for fleeting youth — but the music itself is glorious. Few rock bands have used horns as effectively as the Dan does here (early Chicago; Blood, Sweat and Tears; to a lesser degree, Huey Lewis and the News) without diving directly into the cheese plate. Chuck Findley’s trumpet flourishes soar and swing. And at a time when saxophone solos were everywhere on the pop charts, few were as economical and tasteful as John Klemmer lays it down.

Incidentally, the caves of Altamira, along with others throughout northern Spain, were designated a World Heritage Site by UNESCO in 1985. I’m not saying that this song had anything to do with that. I am saying that I’m sure it didn’t hurt.

Next up: Songs 12 through 9. Any theories yet on what Steely Dan joint will be my Number One?

The Steely Dan 64 Project, Songs 24-17

March 7, 2020

[NOTE: The Steely Dan 64 Project represents my ranking, in order of my personal preference, of the 64 songs released by Steely Dan during their “classic” period (1972-80). You’ll find a detailed introduction to the project, as well as notes on the songs I’ve numbered 64 through 57, HERE. Songs 56 through 49 are discussed HERE. Songs 48 through 41, you’ll find HERE. Songs 40 through 33, HERE. And songs 32 through 25, HERE.]


We’ve reached the Top 24. Onward and upward, my Steely friends.

24. Time Out of Mind (Gaucho)
Tonight when I chase the dragon
The water may change to cherry wine
And the silver will turn to gold

“Time Out of Mind” is perhaps as glorious a missed opportunity as exists in the Dan catalog. Becker and Fagen brought in Dire Straits’ Mark Knopfler, fresh off the radio-ubiquitous “Sultans of Swing,” to play lead guitar on this track. They recorded endless takes of Knopfler’s six-string stylings. And then, in the final release, they buried the lead so far down in the mix that you can barely hear him play. Seriously. There are only a handful of guitarists in the rock universe whose technique is as distinctive and immediately recognizable as Knopfler’s, and yet I’ll bet there are some of you who’ve heard this track dozens of times and didn’t realize he played on it.

That this tune remains a magnificent little slice of pop-jazz heaven despite the above is phenomenal. (For what it’s worth, Michael McDonald — who makes everything better — is criminally underused here, too.)

23. Midnite Cruiser (Can’t Buy a Thrill)
Felonius, my old friend
Step on in and let me shake your hand
So glad that you’re here again

This one stands out in the canon in part due to the lead vocal by Jim Hodder, Steely Dan’s founding drummer. It’s not clear why Fagen handed the singing chores to Hodder rather than to David Palmer, who was ostensibly in the band at the time specifically as a vocalist. For that matter, it’s unclear why Fagen didn’t just sing the song himself, given that Hodder’s voice is not all that distinct from Fagen’s own. But Hodder’s bitter nasal delivery fills the bill, and the song itself percolates right along.

This was actually my favorite number on the entire debut album when I first bought it on vinyl way back when. Four-plus decades later, on any given day, it might flip-flop places with…

22. Do It Again (Can’t Buy a Thrill)
Your black cards can make you money
So you hide them when you’re able
In the land of milk and honey
You must put them on the table

The first Steely Dan tune most of the world heard, “Do It Again” didn’t sound like anything else on the radio in 1972. Interestingly, it doesn’t sound all that much like anything else on a Steely Dan album, apart from Donald Fagen’s now-unmistakable vocals. There’s that weird sitar solo by Denny Dias, the even weirder organ solo by Fagen, the Latin-flavored percussion that’s atypical for the Dan’s style — it’s a strange brew that somehow comes together in delicious fashion.

On top of the music itself, we get a bizarre Western gunslinger-slash-gambler narrative that hints at the lyrical oddities to come throughout the succeeding years.

21. Home At Last (Aja)
Well, the danger on the rocks is surely past
Still I remain tied to the mast

Ah, the Purdie Shuffle. Legendary drummer Bernard “Pretty” Purdie gets to showcase his trademark licks on this bluesy track that’s as cool and smooth as a malted milkshake on a summer day. Although Larry Carlton’s stinging guitar winds its way all through the song, it’s Steely Dan co-mastermind Walter Becker who steps forward to take a rare solo. And yes, that’s the familiar tenor of Timothy B. Schmit harmonizing behind Fagen on the chorus. I guess Randy Meisner was sick that day. (Some of you will get that.)

The Pirate Queen and I saw a modern theatrical interpretation of Homer’s Odyssey a couple of summers ago at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. This song buzzed in my skull the entire evening afterward.

20. Haitian Divorce (The Royal Scam)
She takes the taxi to the good hotel
Bon marché as far as she can tell
She drinks the zombie from the coco shell
She feels alright, she get it on tonight

I’ll confess: I’m a sucker for talk box guitar. (Thank you, Joe Walsh, for getting me hooked.) “Haitian Divorce” is built around what might be the most unusual talk box guitar riff ever recorded: according to the album credits, the actual lead guitar part was played conventionally by Dean Parks, then Walter Becker performed the electronic effect using Parks’s guitar track.

The Dan often gets dragged for obscure lyrical content, but the story line is crystal clear here: Babs, in splitsville mode with soon-to-be-ex Clean Willie, heads to Haiti for a quickie divorce, only to get pregnant during a drunken romp with a local dance machine named Charlie. Word to the wise, Babs: Put. The zombie. Down.

19. The Fez (The Royal Scam)
That’s what I am
Please understand
I wanna be your holy man

Sometimes the simple things in life are best. “The Fez” is as simple a song as one can find in the Dan canon, but man, it’s a wicked cool tune, isn’t it?

This irresistably funky ode to prophylactics (well, what did you think “No, I’m never gonna do it without the fez on” meant?) marks the sole occasion where Becker and Fagen shared composing credit without the impetus of a lawsuit (I’m looking at you, “Gaucho”); pianist extraordinaire Paul Griffin gets the complementary byline here.

True confession: To my admittedly inexpert ear, the intros to “The Fez” and “FM” sound remarkably similar. Despite the fact that I’ve listened to each song literally hundreds of times, I still mistake one for the other.

18. Bad Sneakers (Katy Lied)
Do you take me for a fool?
Do you think that I don’t see
That ditch out in the valley
That they’re digging just for me?

When I say — and you’ll notice that I say it quite a bit when discussing Steely Dan — “Michael McDonald makes everything better,” “Bad Sneakers” proves me correct. This is the song that unleashed the golden vocal tones of the Bearded One on an unsuspecting world, and popular music would never be the same again.

Try to think of another backup singer who can completely launch a song into the stratosphere just by slipping in a well-placed line or two. I’m not talking about a stunt guest appearance by a recognizable existing superstar — Sting’s “I want my MTV” on Dire Straits’ “Money For Nothing,” say, or Michael Jackson’s sneaky chorus on Rockwell’s “Somebody’s Watching Me,” to cite a pair of famous examples. I mean background vocals by someone no one ever heard of before, but that made people’s ears prick up and say, “What the heck was THAT?” Then-unknown Michael McDonald did that on “Bad Sneakers.”

Oh, yeah… the rest of the song is cracking good, too.

17. Aja (Aja)
Chinese music always sets me free
Angular banjos
Sound good to me

Audiophiles have long known Steely Dan’s Aja as an ideal recording for testing — and showing off — the quality of one’s home sound system. The album’s title track is a prime reason why. Most Dan tracks grab your ear and pull you in to listen and try to comprehend what’s going on, musically and lyrically. With “Aja,” you can simply sit back and allow the magic spun by world-class players to wash over you for the next eight minutes.

“Beautiful” and “spectacular” might seem like odd words to attach to a Steely Dan track, but “Aja” certainly merits both. In many ways, it’s the apotheosis of the Dan’s music; the place where all of the elements come together in perfect harmony, from Denny Dias’s sublime guitar solo (the last appearance by an original Steely Dan member other than Becker or Fagen on a Dan album) to the brilliant saxophone-drum duel between Miles Davis veteran Wayne Shorter and Steve Gadd (Gadd, making his first Steely Dan appearance here, contributes the first drum solo on any Dan recording) to the celestial vibraphone playing of Victor Feldman and sweet piano stylings of Michael Omartian (on the acoustic instrument) and Joe Sample of the Crusaders (on the electric).

So, now that I’ve lavished all of that praise, why doesn’t “Aja” rank higher? Well, first off, 17th is mighty doggoned high, when you consider everything that’s still to come. And second, as amazing as “Aja” is musically, it’s not quite that memorable a song (it’s actually a kind of patchwork of three brief song segments, interspersed with extended solos). When it comes to assessing the collective works of Becker and Fagen, lyrics and earworminess (it’s a word; look it up) matter a great deal to me.

Stellar stuff, all. But, oh my goodness, that Top Sixteen. More to come.