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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 21: Winning Blackjack Hand Edition

November 28, 2024

Twenty-one — an ace plus a face card or 10 — means a win in blackjack (or at worst, a tie or “push”). In Texas hold-’em poker, the same hand might have great potential (especially if the face card is a king or queen) that could go undeveloped if the board fills up with middle-value cards.

Is our 21st annual edition of the Thanksgiving Day blog post an immediate winner, or merely awash with unfulfilled potential? That, friend reader, will be for you to decide.

As always, I have so much more to be grateful for than a simple list can encompass. Thus, our customary exercise: I’ve chosen 26 seemingly random items — one for each letter of the alphabet — to stand in for everything and everyone in my life that I love, admire, treasure, and appreciate. I began my Thanksgiving Day chatting via FaceTime with The Daughter and the two Little Dudes (The Son-In-Law peeked in briefly for a hello and a “Happy Thanksgiving” as well), an interaction that reminded me again how fortunate I am to have loved ones and to be loved. There’s much more love in the enumeration below, if you know where to look.

And with that, let’s do the do.

On this Thanksgiving Day 2024, I’m thankful for…

Agatha All Along. Marvel Studios has taken a fair bit of heat for some of their latter-period offerings, but for my money (and as a Disney stockholder, it kind of is my money, to some infinitesimal degree), the MCU smashed it out of the park with the most recent made-for-streaming-TV event. Agatha All Along, the followup series to the acclaimed WandaVision from a few years back, gave us everything we expect from Marvel — engaging characters, exciting action, a compelling and twisty storyline, and a sense of both drama and fun that hearkened back to the Marvel Comics of old. Kathryn Hahn made the most of her star turn as the ageless witch on a quest to regain her lost mojo. Her supporting coven, led by Sasheer Zamata, Joe Locke, Patti LuPone, and the ubiquitous Aubrey Plaza (who seems to be in everything these days), each brought their own flavor of awesomeness. Personally, I’ve been happy with most of the MCU Disney+ product — I even enjoyed the widely derided She-Hulk: Attorney at Law — but Agatha All Along served notice that Kevin Feige and Company still can pull magic out of their pointy hat.

Bluesky. Like many of you, I pretty much gave up on Twitter as it entered its Age of Elon a couple of years ago. While the jury is still out, Bluesky seems at least for the moment a viable alternative to what the Twittersphere once provided. I’m SwanShadow there as here, so feel welcome to follow if you’re inclined. Also, here’s a tip: You can obtain a download from the former Twitter of all your content posted there. I pulled one in advance of abandoning my account altogether, so that I can repurpose some of my classic tweets for future use on Bluesky.

Concierges. There are both pluses and minuses to living in a vast concrete jungle. One of the true upsides in my highrise life is the concierge staff who man/woman/person the front desk in my building. I never have to worry about a package being porch-pirated or a DoorDash delivery going misdirected. And more often than not, I get a smile and friendly greeting when I walk past on my way to the mailroom or the Amazon Hub.

Dominant eye. One might suppose that when one has inhabited a body for as many decades as I’ve inhabited mine, one would know all there is to know about this mortal frame. But in fact, I only recently learned something fascinating about my physical self: I am one of the roughly 18-20% of humans who are cross-eye dominant. That means that while I am naturally right-handed, my brain favors my left eye. It’s especially a challenge for things like target sports — think shooting or archery, even darts — but also partially explains my lifelong lack of hand-eye coordination. Now that I know that my cross-eye dominance exists, I can learn to compensate for it. (You can test your own eye dominance thusly: Extend your arms in front of you. Make a triangular space by partially crossing your hands; your thumbs will form the base of the triangle. Center the triangle on some fixed object across the room. Now, keeping both eyes open and focused on the object, draw your hands slowly toward you until your hands touch your face, and the triangle lands over one of your eyes. That eye is your dominant eye.)

Eggnog. People who know me in the real world know that I’m not a huge fan of the holiday season in general. One feature of this time of year that I do enjoy is eggnog, which can be difficult to find outside of the fall-to-winter window. The Kroger store brand is surprisingly decent.

Fans. When one lives in a high-desert location that can reach peak temperatures of 120 (as Las Vegas did one day this past summer), anything that provides cooling air circulation is a godsend. The three powerful tower fans around the Nest — one in my office, one in the living room, one in the master suite — help keep the HVAC system from working too hard during the long hot Mojave summer.

Graduation. The Daughter collected her hard-earned master’s degree in library and information sciences at a ceremony this past June. She deserves abundant plaudits for completing her coursework while holding down a full-time job and — not insignificantly — giving birth to and caring for two children. Fortunately, she inherited her late mother’s determination. I could not be more proud.

The House, a.k.a. Michelob Ultra Arena, home to my beloved Las Vegas Aces. A championship three-peat escaped our grasp during a challenging season, but I thoroughly enjoyed every home game… even the ones the Aces didn’t win. The House draws great crowds (every game this season was a sellout, and season tickets are already sold out for next season as well), and the Aces’ enthusiastic fan base always shows up and shows out. (Some show out a little more than others.)

“I Can’t Drive 55.” I have been a major Sammy Hagar fan since he was the lead vocalist in Montrose in the early 1970s. In the ’80s, seeing Sammy perform live became an annual ritual; I caught the Standing Hampton, Three Lock Box, and VOA tours in consecutive years. This summer, I got to see Sammy alongside his former Van Halen bandmate Michael Anthony, guitar wizard Joe Satriani, and drummer Jason Bonham, playing a mix of tunes from across his career. The guy still can sing up a storm (unlike certain other former VH frontmen who shall remain unnamed here), and he brings plenty of fire to the stage even now in his mid-70s. Sammy might not be able to drive 55, but he is outliving it in style.

Josh Johnson. In case you’re unfamiliar with Josh, he’s a standup comedian who’s also a correspondent on The Daily Show. His standup is nothing short of brilliant, especially considering that — unlike most working comics — he performs a set of brand-new material almost every night, often drawing inspiration from current events. He’s topical and socially aware without being overtly political (usually); adult in orientation without working blue (usually); and his onstage persona is engaging and charismatic without any of the grotesque bravado that characterizes a lot of today’s standup. Check out his YouTube channel — he posts clips from recent performances frequently — and catch him live if he comes to your town. I will challenge you not to laugh.

Kamala Harris. She made the best of a tough campaigning circumstance, and carried herself with dignity and grace to the very end. Thank you, Madame Vice President.

Las Vegas Boulevard. Not just that roughly four-mile portion known to the world as The Strip, but all of its nearly 50-mile length. Drive along the Boulevard for a while, and you’re bound to see something you’ve never seen before, and most likely would not see anywhere else.

Mucha. My love for comic art is well known to those who have frequented this space in earlier years, but I also have a deep appreciation for many other kinds of graphic art. One of my all-time favorite artists is the Czech-born illustrator and painter Alphonse Mucha (1860-1939), famed for his creations in the Art Nouveau style. Mucha is one of the most renowned artists whose most familiar work was done in the field of advertising. He created hundreds of theatrical posters, product advertisements, and print illustrations in an ornate style that was compelling, immediately recognizable, and often imitated. Mucha’s art never fails to bring a smile to my face and peace to my heart.

Neewer. I’ve been working for some time on a video project (more about this, soon). Neewer makes a wide assortment of photographic accessories, from lighting to tripods, several pieces of which I now own. I find their products to be of good quality, easy to use, and competitively priced. This is not a sponsored ad — I just like their stuff.

Olympics. This year’s Paris Games provided some of the finest spectacle in sport. From the triumphant return to competition of All-Everything gymnast Simone Biles to the home-crowd-pleasing successes of French swimmer Leon Marchand; from the continued US domination of men’s and women’s 5×5 basketball to the even more dominant performances in the diving pool by Team China; from the constant thrills of insanely close races on the athletics track to… whatever that breakdancing thing was; the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad had it all.

Pizza Rock, serving the best pizza in Las Vegas in this pizza connoisseur’s estimation. To be fair, I haven’t tried every single pizza available in the Valley. But I’d be hard-pressed to find any that outclasses the offerings from Tony Gemignani’s downtown hotspot.

Quokkas. Because the world needs all the furry cuteness we can get right now.

Richard Osman’s House of Games. I adore British quiz shows in general, but I hold a special fondness for this quirky series presented by the former Pointless creator and co-host (and now, bestselling mystery novelist) Richard Osman. Each week, four “famous faces” (translated: “celebrities” familiar to much of the British TV-viewing public, but completely unknown to most Americans) play five days’ worth of quizzes, ranging from simple word games (“Rhyme Time”) to find-it-on-a-map geography (“Where Is Kazakhstan?”) to merging clues with pictures (“Answer Smash,” which concludes each day’s proceedings). The “celebrity” who wins each day’s contest gets to select from a motley assortment of tacky prizes, all of which bear Osman’s silhouette; the player amassing the most points over the course of the week takes home a cheesy trophy cup that most bowling alleys would be embarrassed to give away. It’s all in good fun, and plays much better than I’ve just made it sound.

Sunflowers. They are magnificent and magical, regal and radiant. They stand out in any arrangement. Artists and artisans throughout history have drawn inspiration from them. Their beauty is undeniable, and beyond compare. Who doesn’t love sunflowers?

Trots and Bonnie. I’ve been revisiting at times throughout this year the wonderfully creative cartooning of Shari Flenniken, whose strip appeared originally in the legendary humor magazine National Lampoon from 1972 until 1990. Trots and Bonnie features the everyday exploits of two junior-high school teens — bright-but-naive Bonnie and her more precocious friend Pepsi — and Bonnie’s sharp-witted talking dog Trots. As was typical of the Lampoon‘s fare, Trots and Bonnie skews quite adult at times, but Flenniken’s charming artwork and thoughtful, realistic sensibility set the strip at a higher level.

Unsung Titles, the theme of my ninth One-Day Special quiz for the Internet’s premier daily trivia competition, LearnedLeague. I’ve enjoyed presenting each of the 1DS quizzes I’ve written over the years, but I was particularly fond of this one, which focused on popular songs whose titles never appear in their lyrics. It was a fun set to create, and people seemed to enjoy playing it. Here’s a sample question (I’ll put the answer at the end of this post):

You might think this song is called:
“We Come From the Land of the Ice and Snow” (1970, #16 US Hot 100)
It’s easy to see why this song became Thor’s walk-on music in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, what with all that Norse mythology “hammer of the gods” and “Valhalla” stuff in the lyrics.
But you know what’s not in the lyrics? Passports. Or visas. Or the actual title of this song.

Video editing, a new skill I’m struggling to acquire. As mentioned above, I’m working on a video project. The thing is, despite many years of experience editing audio files — and I consider myself a pretty solid audio editor — I haven’t worked with video since college, back in the Dark Ages. Some necessary skills translate from the audio world; others are brand new to me. You know that old saying about old dogs and new tricks? Well, I’m an old dog.

Wakizashi and katana. Most mornings, the first thing I see when I open my eyes is my daisho, a matching pair of Japanese swords of the style originally carried by samurai. I am not a samurai, or trained in the art of swordplay. For me, these beautiful swords are strictly display pieces. But I like to think that a master martial artist could make great use of them, should the occasion arise. And speaking of swords…

… there’s the xiphoid (“sword-shaped”) process. It’s that tiny piece of your skeleton at the end of your sternum, to which your diaphragm and your rectus abdominis muscles — colloquially known as your abs — are connected. What’s interesting to me about the xiphoid process is that it isn’t fully developed until around age 40. Think of the fontanelles (or soft spots) in a baby’s skull, which harden into bone during the first 18 months or so after birth. The xiphoid process is like that, only it takes until middle age to harden. Weird.

Y&T, one of the great underappreciated bands in the history of rock. Frank Meniketti, Y&T’s co-founder, lead vocalist, and lead guitarist, should be a household name given his prodigious talents. But for whatever reason, his band never quite vaulted over the hump into superstardom. Despite years of touring and recording excellent, tunefully catchy hard rock music, Y&T just never found that one killer song or released that one killer album that might have made their career. The band’s name — a truncation of their original moniker, Yesterday and Today — probably didn’t help. And yet, they’re one of the acts whose CDs I frequently pop into my car player on long road trips. I always find myself wondering… why weren’t these guys a much bigger deal?

Zarfs. You know that little cardboard sleeve around your cup when you order a hot beverage at your local Starbucks? It’s a zarf. And when you don’t get one, you wish you did.

As I am every year — and increasingly as the years roll past — I am sincerely thankful for you, friend reader, especially those of you who’ve kept coming back for this annual experience for the past 21 Thanksgivings. If you’re here for the first time, I’m grateful for your presence too. I hope you realize how much you have to be thankful for, and that you’ll exercise some of that gratitude in the way you live your life and interact with the people around you. I hope we’re all here next year to be thankful again, and still.

*Answer: “Immigrant Song” (Led Zeppelin)

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Cinemania, Comic Art Friday, Disney, Food Glorious Food, Good Reads, Hero of the Day, LearnedLeague, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, Soundtrack of My Life, Sports Bar, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, The Swan Tunes In, Trivial Pursuits, Vegas, Baby
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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 20: Double Decades Edition

November 24, 2023

Be honest now, who thought I’d still be doing this 20 years later?

Seriously, who even thought I’d still be doing anything 20 years later?

Never bet against your Uncle Swan, o ye of little feathers. (But not Sacheen Littlefeather. That’s a can of worms I don’t want to open, especially on Thanksgiving.)

Last year’s Thanksgiving Day post leaned heavily on Las Vegas: the reasons that brought me to reside in the Entertainment Capital of the World, and the things I was only then beginning to appreciate about my new neon hometown (to borrow a phrase from YouTuber Las Vegas Gal). There will be a lot of Vegas in this year’s list also, as I’ve come to love even more people, places, and things in this one-of-a-kind desert metropolis. But there’s still much that I’m grateful for in the greater, wider world, so there’s a bit more of that sort of reflection this time around.

Just a brief introduction to what this is all about, for the benefit of any newcomers who’ve found their way here for the first time. Every Thanksgiving for the past two decades, I’ve posted in this space a list of 26 items — one for each letter of the alphabet — for which I am particularly grateful. These 26 items are not intended to be comprehensive. Instead, most of them represent, by way of synecdoche (I’m sure there’s an app where you could look that up), many other people and things that I hold precious, even dear. It’s just a mechanism for compelling myself once a year to think deeply about all that truly moves me to gratitude.

Some mean too much to attempt to find place for them in this little exercise. The Daughter, whom I love with the ferocity of a thousand suns and would sacrifice anything for, tops that list, along with The Son-In-Law and the two Little Dudes, the second of whom arrived since the writing of the previous post. Others find their place in the subtext within the list, or simply transcend it. They know who they are, and what lofty status they hold.

And with that said, let’s forge ahead. (Have I really done 20 of these? Wow.)

On Thanksgiving Day 2023, I’m thankful for…

Ahsoka Tano. I’m not a huge Star Wars guy. I’ve made no secret these past 46 years that I never completely understood all of the fuss about what we now call Episode IV: A New Hope (what I’ve called from the jump, a super-cute Carrie Fisher plus a bunch of derivative space opera and oblique Jack Kirby references). But I have very much enjoyed several of the latter-day spinoffs, especially The Mandalorian and its brand-new companion series, Ahsoka, starring the sublime Rosario Dawson in the title role. There’s a statue of Ahsoka Tano in my living room. Not everyone gets that kind of recognition.

Buckaroo Banzai. I was honored this year to write a One-Day Special quiz for the online trivia site LearnedLeague about The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension — a film that, unlike the aforementioned Episode IV, I have loved since the day I first beheld it, goggle-eyed, in a local movie theater. If you don’t grok the unique sensibility of Buckaroo Banzai, I can’t explain it to you. I also can’t explain why there’s a watermelon in the lab.

Cats In Space. People who know me IRL have heard me opine more than once that good music stopped being made by 1989. Of course, this comment is intended to be facetious. There’s plenty of excellent music being created even today, by artists whose careers began long after the ’80s ended. Case in point: the delightful British rock band Cats In Space. When you listen to a Cats album — and you should — you can detect their influences: Queen, Styx, Boston, a little ELO here, a little Supertramp there. However, you won’t hear anything that sounds exactly like any of those bands, or anything that sounds like a tribute, nostalgia, or novelty act. Cats In Space are legitimate unto themselves, keeping alive the classic arena-rock flavor but adding their own modern interpretation (and considerable musical chops) to it. Try their most recent album, Kickstart the Sun, or Diamonds, a 2021 selection of their best catalog numbers re-recorded with their current lead vocalist, Damien Edwards. If you enjoy any or all of the bands I mentioned earlier, I strongly suspect you’ll dig Cats In Space.

Dita Von Teese. The undisputed Queen of Neo-Burlesque, Ms. Von Teese (her birth handle is Heather Sweet, which seems like a perfectly appropriate name to me, but what do I know?) has been almost single-handedly reinventing the art of cabaret for the past 30 years. She earns huge props from me for helping to keep alive (along with graphic artists such as Olivia De Berardinis, Jim Silke, and the late Dave Stevens) the legacy of 1950s pinup legend Bettie Page. Ms. Von Teese recently premiered a new show in the Jubilee Theater at Horseshoe Las Vegas (formerly Bally’s), utilizing some of the famous costumes from Jubilee!, the last of the old-school Las Vegas revues. The show has drawn rave reviews, and I’m looking forward to seeing it next month.

Esther’s Kitchen. If your entire perspective of Las Vegas is strictly bounded by The Strip and Fremont Street, you’re missing a ton of the sweet spots Neon City has to offer. One such spot is the Arts District, an 18-block swatch of Downtown Las Vegas that’s home to numerous restaurants, quaint shops, and entertainment venues. Among the excellent eateries to be found in the Arts District is the newly expanded Esther’s Kitchen. It’s nominally an Italian restaurant, but it’s nothing like any Italian restaurant you’ve ever tried. The menu is seasonal and constantly changing, but you’re sure to find something you’ll love.

Fontainebleau Las Vegas. Since it was topped out back in 2008, the Fontainebleau has been the tallest building not only in Las Vegas, but in the entire state of Nevada. Also since 2008, the Fontainebleau has been a ginormous, empty blue husk at the north end of The Strip. A victim of the Great Recession (and probably some mismanagement along the way), the Fontainebleau, while mostly completed, never opened. In the years since, the property has changed hands several times (and names at least twice), while locals wondered if the monstrosity might just get imploded someday. But in fact, the Fontainebleau was reacquired by its original developer in 2021 and has undergone a flurry of construction and redesign since then. It’s now scheduled to open — at long last — on December 13. People who’ve seen the inside say it’s magnificent. I’m eager to see for myself.

Glittering Lights. Every holiday season, the Las Vegas Motor Speedway (not to be confused with the recent Formula 1 contest, the Las Vegas Grand Prix… don’t get me started) transforms its racetrack into a drive-through electric spectacular called Glittering Lights. It’s a two-and-a-half-mile cruise through more than two million… well… glittering lights, in the form of cheerful holiday images. Put some classic carols on the car radio, and get into the spirit of the season. If someone as notoriously Grinchy as your Uncle Swan enjoys it, you might too.

Huntridge Theater. I’m not old-Vegas enough to recall when the Huntridge Theater on Charleston Boulevard was a happening joint. That said, I was privileged earlier this year to take a fascinating tour of this historic building, which began life in 1944 as a movie palace, then segued into its second act as a performing arts venue in 1992. The roof of the vintage structure — built during wartime with wooden support trusses rather than then-rationed steel — collapsed in 1995. Efforts to save the facility ultimately failed, and the Huntridge shuttered — seemingly forever — in 2004. Then in 2021, a local developer purchased the Huntridge and vowed to restore it within three years. The theater’s iconic Art Deco neon sign was relighted for the first time on April 7, 2023. Soho Playhouse has signed on to operate the theater once the reconstruction is complete, and will book it for live performances.

Injera. Among Las Vegas’s many hidden gems is its Ethiopian corridor, which gained official recognition as a cultural district this year. “Little Ethiopia” is home to around 90 restaurants, shops, and other businesses owned by members of Vegas’s 40,000-strong Ethiopian community. If you love Ethiopian food — and I do — it’s the neighborhood where you can stuff your face with spicy meats and veggies, all transported into your mouth with injera, the spongy, slightly sour flatbread made from teff flour that doubles as both an accompaniment and a utensil.

Juan’s Flaming Fajitas. Las Vegas is also home to some of the finest Mexican cuisine you’ll experience north of the border. Although Tacos El Gordo (four Las Vegas-area taquerias) is my local go-to for quick Mexican bites, when I’m in the mood for a sit-down feast I might head to one of the three locations of Juan’s Flaming Fajitas. When they say “flaming,” that’s not just marketing-speak. They mean actual fire. The fire of deliciousness.

Karen Avenue is a largely nondescript street running east-west from the general area of the Las Vegas Convention Center. It makes my list because the one non-nondescript fact about Karen Avenue is that a section of it — the part between Joe W. Brown Drive and Maryland Parkway — was recently renamed Liberace Avenue, in honor of the late pianist once lauded as The World’s Greatest Showman. At the peak of his lengthy career in the late 1950s and early ’60s, Liberace was the highest-paid entertainer on the planet — a planet that at the time still headlined people like Frank Sinatra, Harry Belafonte, and Elvis Presley. I never saw Liberace perform live, but I remember watching him countless times on television when I was very young. It’s nice that Vegas finally got around (35 years after the man’s death, but who’s counting?) to honoring someone whose name spun box office gold for decades on The Strip.

Leilani’s Attic. My love for all things Hawaiian knows no bounds. I spent my earliest formative years in Hawaii and still regard it as the place where I’m “from,” to the degree that a constantly transient military kid could be “from” any one place. Part of the appeal to me in relocating to Las Vegas was the city’s status as “the Ninth Island,” where many Hawaii residents vacation, and where many former islanders come to find paying jobs and affordable homes. One of the greatest assets of the Ninth Island is Leilani’s Attic, a treasure trove of Hawaiian foods and beverages, as well as clothing and souvenirs. It’s my local resource for saimin (Hawaii’s version of noodle soup) and Hawaiian Sun juice drinks, among other treats.

The Marvels. Don’t believe the pouting keyboard warriors who trashed the latest installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe without even bothering to view it. (Here’s a tip, fanboys: When you begin a screed about any entertainment product with the words, “I haven’t seen/read/listened to [INSERT TITLE HERE], but…,” your opinion lost any credibility three words in.) The Marvels proved itself — to this person who actually bought a ticket — fun, engaging, and heartwarming, with the interplay between the three leads alone worth the price of admission — which I, unlike many online pundits, actually paid. Is it the MCU’s best film? No, not by a long shot. (The villain, in particular, is tragically underwritten… which can be said of the villains in at least half of the MCU outings. It’s neither a new nor a unique problem with this film.) But not every MCU movie has to be Avengers: Endgame or Black Panther, nor could they all be. The Marvels is very good for what it is — a mid-tier film in the Marvel canon. If that’s the sort of thing you like, you’ll probably like this one. I certainly did.

The Nest, my not-terribly-clever code name for the Vegas iteration of Casa de Swan. It’s taken over a year, but it finally feels fully and completely like home. It even has a thermostat on the wall with its own name on it.

Outlet shops. The Las Vegas North Premium Outlets are right in my neighborhood. I’m not really an outlets shopper, but every time I pass, they appear to be doing a land-office business. Plus there’s a Cheesecake Factory.

The Palms. Thought to be on the verge of extinction as recently as a couple of years ago, the Palms — the off-Strip hotel and casino that was once home to both a Playboy Club and a season of The Real World — appears to be thriving under the new ownership of the San Manuel Band of Mission Indians. It’s the first Las Vegas casino to be owned and operated by a Native American tribal band. (The casino at Virgin Las Vegas, formerly the Hard Rock Hotel, is operated by the Mohegan band out of Connecticut, but the property is owned by Virgin Hotels.) The new owners reopened the buffet — it’s a pretty decent one, in an era of vanishing buffets — and maintained most of the better dining and imbibing venues, including the iconic Ghostbar. The Pearl Concert Theater is a great place to see a show; I caught Cheap Trick there on their current tour.

Queen Latifah. She’s had stunning success as a music artist and as an actor. Her current TV venture, a retooling of the classic crime series The Equalizer, is pretty solid — though I’ll admit that I prefer the film series starring Denzel Washington… because Denzel. Props to The Queen, though, for doing it her way.

Repeat champions. Speaking of Queens, all hail to the Queens of the WNBA, the back-to-back world champion Las Vegas Aces! What an exciting (and sometimes crazy) season the Aces put forward on their way to their second consecutive title. Even the mid-campaign, season-ending injury to newly acquired superstar Candace Parker, and the equally season-ending arrest and subsequent banishment of super sub Riqana Williams, couldn’t derail the Aces as they marched to collect another trophy. When “Tha Point Gawd” Chelsea Gray went down during the Finals, the team rallied to finish off the archrival New York Liberty, almost without missing a beat. I can hardly wait to see what happens as coach Becky Hammon and all-World forward A’ja Wilson (the Finals MVP, who should also have been the regular season MVP) lead the squad in search of a threepeat in 2024.

The Scarlet Witch. I might be referring here to one of my all-time favorite comics (and later MCU) heroines. But I’m actually referring to the crimson Subaru that replaced my previous vehicle (nicknamed the Blubaru, for reasons you can probably guess) at the end of last year. She’s red, and she does a ton of technological tricks that seem like magic. What else could I have called her? (She answers to Wanda — as in Maximoff — for short.)

The Tropicana. I’m going to miss the old Trop, which as of recent events is officially doomed to be razed in the near future, to make way for the new stadium home of the soon-to-arrive Las Vegas Athletics of Major League Baseball. The Trop was my go-to lodging spot when I came to Vegas as a visitor, for the better part of a decade. In fact, I enjoyed one final stay at the Trop last year when I pulled into town as a new resident, while I waited for the truck ferrying my belongings. So long, old friend. We’ve shared many good times and made many cherished memories. I hope the implosion isn’t too painful.

Uzo Aduba. I read in an interview that the talented actor, who recently headlined the reboot of the TV series In Treatment, got her breakthrough role as Crazy Eyes in Orange Is the New Black in an interesting way. Apparently, Aduba auditioned for another role in the same show. When her agent called, they had “bad news” and “good news.” The bad news: Aduba didn’t get the role she’d read for. The good news: The producers wanted to cast her instead as Crazy Eyes. To which Aduba said that she responded: “What was it about my audition that made them think I’d be right for a character called Crazy Eyes?” Whatever it was, it was worth two Emmys. Indeed, Aduba is the only performer to win a “Best Supporting” Emmy for both comedy and drama for the same role in the same series. Sometimes, as Mick Jagger once noted, you don’t get what you want, but you get what you need.

The Venetian Theatre. In the past year, I saw five terrific concerts in this gorgeous venue: ZZ Top; Styx; Smokey Robinson (when you can see a legend, go see a legend); Ringo Starr and His All-Starr Band (when you can see a Beatle, go see a Beatle); and Earth, Wind and Fire. I also saw the national touring company of the Broadway show SIX here. I’m hoping to see many more shows at the Venetian in the years ahead.

Watch Art Grand Exhibition. This year, for the third time, I was privileged to be hired by the world-renowned Swiss watchmakers Patek Philippe to narrate the audio guide to one of their Grand Exhibitions. I first narrated the Grand Exhibition held in New York in 2017, then provided the English-language version of the guide to the Singapore Grand Exhibition in 2019. This year, Patek Philippe took their display to Tokyo, and I again got the call to narrate the English-language guide. I now understand far more about the craft of artisan horologerie than I ever imagined that I would. If you ever get to see one of these periodic exhibitions, I highly recommend that you check it out.

X. I’m just going to give the letter X the year off. I’m not really thankful for anything — or anyone — related to X (regardless of what X may or may not have been called previously) this year. (If you know, you know.)

“Ya Mo Be There.” If I hear this song one more time, ya mo… well… not burn this place to the ground. Maybe I’ll butt-dance in my seat instead.

Zippy’s. After an interminable period of years since the original announcement, the Hawaii-based diner chain Zippy’s has finally opened its first location in Las Vegas. The day I considered stopping in, the waiting queue wrapped around the building. I’ll definitely get there sometime soon, after the initial furor dies down a bit. That’s assuming, of course, that it dies down. People here on the Ninth Island have been waiting an awfully long time for a Zippy’s.

And of course, as always, friend reader, I am deeply grateful for you. I appreciate your time and attention. My hope is that you’ll be inspired to list a few of the things and people you’re happy to have in your life, and give grace according to whatever belief system you subscribe to. I hope you’ve had a most excellent Thanksgiving, and that you’ve been able to share it with at least some of the people for whom you’re the most thankful. May we all be here in 12 months to be grateful yet again.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Cinemania, Food Glorious Food, Hawaii, Hero of the Day, I'm The Mic Guy!, LearnedLeague, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, Soundtrack of My Life, Sports Bar, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, Vegas, Baby

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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 15: Crystal Turkey Edition

November 22, 2018

As unlikely as it seems, this post marks the 15th anniversary of my yearly Thanksgiving Day blog entry. Given that crystal is the traditional gift for a 15th anniversary, I will attempt herein to be as transparent, sparkling, and multifaceted as possible.

Those of you (and you know who you are) who’ve kept up with these posts over the years know that I have many, many people and things in my life for which I am thankful. I don’t take that responsibility of gratitude lightly. I earnestly, honestly appreciate how blessed my life is.

When I roll over the side of the bed every morning, even when that effort comes accompanied by the creaks and crackles of advancing age, I am grateful that I have two feet to stand on, and legs that support the standing. I know there are millions of people in the world who can’t get out of bed and would give anything to do so. And, as I go about my day, I am thankful that I have a comfortable home, clean clothes, abundant food and water, work I enjoy, the entertainment of a companion animal, and the love of a life partner. I know there are millions of people who have few, or none, of these, and would sacrifice anything they do have to possess that which they do not. I am not better, or more deserving, than they. I am merely more fortunate. Again, I don’t take that for granted.

And especially when I find myself living in a state where entire communities have been consumed by disastrous wildfires over the past year-plus, robbing people of every material possession and a lifetime of treasured memories…

I take none of this for granted.

Because I have far more things to be thankful for than I can enumerate, on Thanksgiving Day it’s been my custom these past 15 years to focus my gratitude on a list of just 26 items, one for each letter of the alphabet. Some items on the list are trivial (indeed, some are literally that). Others are profound. All stand in the place of many, many others that I simply haven’t time in one day to name. It’s just my way of acknowledging how deeply moved in soul and spirit I am when I pause to consider how rich my life is, even in those countless moments when I feel poorly within.

With all that said, on Thanksgiving Day 2018, here are the things for which I’m giving thanks.

Air. In our part of the world, it’s easy to forget about air — we have it fresh and without limit… until an event like the fire that destroyed Paradise, California clouds the atmosphere with toxic fumes and ash for days on end, even for those of us living a couple hundred miles from the event. After breathing soot for two weeks, today’s clean air (courtesy of our first rains in months) gives us NorCal residents something extra special to celebrate.

Bob Almond. My comic art collection began in earnest almost simultaneously with these annual posts, 15 years ago. During that time, one artist’s work has come to be represented in my galleries far more frequently than any other — more than 50 times, at last count. It might be easy to miss that, however, because Bob Almond toils as an inker, an embellisher of other artists’ pencil drawings. Bob’s unique ability to meld his ink lines with a broad variety of styles — always enhancing, never imposing or interfering — gives me the confidence to keep putting projects in his capable hands, knowing that the art will always return to me better than when it left. And, as founder of the Inkwell Awards, Bob labors tirelessly to gain recognition and appreciation for other practitioners of his craft — artists whose work often goes unnoticed, but is indispensable to the art form we call comics.

Confetti. I play quite a few online trivia games (although fewer all the time, it seems, as some of the upstarts have gone or are going out of the picture). I have the most fun playing the Facebook-based Confetti every weeknight. Confetti’s distinction is that it allows one to play in concert with one’s Facebook friends, seeing their responses to each question in real time and benefiting from their collective wisdom. Assuming, of course, that one has smart friends. I just happen to be lucky that way.

Doctor Who. Until this season, I haven’t been a regular viewer of Doctor Who, the venerable BBC science fiction series, since the days of the Fourth Doctor, played by Tom Baker in the 1970s. When the show was revived several years back, I sampled an episode or two of each new incarnation of the Doctor, but was never drawn back into steady attendance. Then came the Thirteenth Doctor, played with charm and spunk (and a goofy-to-American-ears Yorkshire accent) by Jodie Whittaker, the first female actor to be cast as the Time Lord. In the Doctor’s own phrase, “Brilliant!”

Egg foo young. Yes, I know, it’s not real Chinese cuisine. But sometimes, I just gotta have it. It’s probably the gravy.

Freddie Mercury. I have yet to see Bohemian Rhapsody, the recent biopic starring Rami Malek as the legendary front man of Queen. Part of my reluctance is the reviews. The greater part, though, is my fear that nothing could compare with the reality of Freddie, perhaps the most uniquely talented performer in rock history, and one whose music and memory means so much to me.

Garlic. Can’t cook without it. Okay, maybe breakfast. But not after that.

Hawaiian Airlines. Truly the friendliest airline in the skies. You’d be friendly too if every one of your round trips ended in Hawaii. At the Pirate Queen’s insistence, I got a new credit card this year that earns Hawaiian Airlines flying miles. Maybe one of these years I’ll earn enough miles to just stay.

Infinity War. Every time I think the Marvel Cinematic Universe has gone about as far as it can go, Kevin Feige and company find a whole new way to turn things up past 11. Coming in hot on the heels of Black Panther — quite possibly, the greatest superhero film ever made, and one that could have dominated this Thanksgiving list had I not decided not to be quite so obvious — Avengers: Infinity War raised the stakes and broke our hearts by taking our Panther (and several other Marvel headliners, including Spider-Man and Doctor Strange) away. The sequel can’t get here fast enough. (Also, Black Panther 2.)

Journalists. I’ve never practiced the trade — the closest I came was my years as an online film reviewer — but I trained at university as a journalist. I value the talent and commitment of those who tell the true stories within our world, and deliver the news even when those in power would undermine and even physically thwart them. Now more than ever, we need legitimate journalism, and we all need to support those outlets and individuals determined to publish the truth.

Kansas. This summer, the Pirate Queen and I spent a weekend in Central California centered around a concert by the classic rock band Kansas. This was the fourth time I’ve seen Kansas live — the first was on my 19th birthday, at the Cow Palace — but the first time in more than 20 years. I still love the music. Kansas is the only significant American band to focus largely on progressive rock for the majority of its career (yeah, I know, Styx — but they were only prog-ish, and at that, only sometimes). Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? Maybe not… but who cares? All we are is dust in the wind.

Lutron. One of the many things I love about our little abode here at Pirates Cove is the auto-dimming LED light fixtures, manufactured by a company named Lutron about whom I know nothing. Great lights, though.

Marriage. In the words of a certain Impressive Clergyman, “Mawwiage is what bwings us togevvah today.” In May, The Daughter entered into vows with The Son-In-Law. It was a beautiful day, and they still seem totally happy together six months later. I’m glad she found someone special to share her heart and her life with (and he does indeed seem like a great guy). I’m glad that the Pirate Queen and I found each other, too. Ain’t love grand?

Notability. An essential tool in my everyday working life — I import all of my scripts into it, where I can annotate and mark them up as I will. I also use it for note-taking in workshops and sessions, and for general brainstorming. If you can use a high-quality document markup / notation tool with a wealth of functionality, I highly recommend Notability. (Not a paid endorsement. Just a satisfied customer.)

Outrigger Reef Waikiki. We stayed here on this year’s trip to Oahu, and it immediately became our new favorite hotel on the island. Centrally located on Waikiki Beach, the Outrigger Reef offered a ton of features that we liked: unmatched location, warm hospitality that personifies aloha, first-rate beach access, a reliable breakfast venue, super-convenient layout that minimizes walking (something that can’t be said of many large resort hotels), great pool, live music nightly, and a Starbucks. I almost hate to mention it here, because now you people will fill it up the next time we want to stay there.

Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. The Legion of Honor Museum in San Francisco has presented a couple of exhibitions in recent years featuring the works of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, an association of 19th-century British artists and writers. This year’s show afforded the opportunity to see a number of stunning paintings by the Brotherhood’s leading lights: Dante Gabriel Rossetti, William Holman Hunt, and John Everett Millais. I’m always impressed by art that keeps me thinking about it for days after I’ve seen it. The Pre-Raphaelites and their acolytes accomplish that.

Quizmasters. Having written a few quizzes for LearnedLeague and elsewhere, and played thousands more, I’m acutely aware of how difficult it is to compose top-shelf trivia questions and answers. I’m in awe of people — including LearnedLeague Commissioner Thorsten A. Integrity and newly inducted Trivia Hall of Fame member Paul Paquet — who manage to do it consistently over long periods of time.

Radio. As some of you know, I was a radio disc jockey in a previous life. Thanks in part to the SiriusXM subscription that came with our new Subaru Forester, I’ve been listening to more radio of late. It’s a format that I hope never goes away.

Stan Lee. Some idolized Marvel Comics writer/editor/publisher “Stan the Man” and gave him perhaps more credit than he deserved. Others in their zeal to counteract Stan’s penchant for self-aggrandizement were perhaps too quick to denigrate his contributions. All I know is this: Stan Lee co-created (we can disagree as to what percentage) several of the most iconic characters and stories of my lifetime, including some that had a tremendous impact on my youth and beyond. I can’t say this about many people whom I never met, but I would be a dramatically different person today were it not for Stan Lee. Rest in peace, and excelsior.

Taarna. I don’t like to talk myself up, but for some years, I was among the primary resources online for information about the 1981 animated science fiction anthology film Heavy Metal. I compiled and maintained the Squidoo lens spotlighting the movie, contributed significantly to its Wikipedia entry, and wrote material about the film for several (mostly now defunct) websites. My art collection reflects my obsession, with its gallery of commissioned artworks featuring Taarna, the lead character in Heavy Metal’s concluding segment and star of its iconic poster. When Sideshow Collectibles announced early this year that they were releasing a statue of Taarna, I knew I had to own one, even though I’m not a statue collector. The Taarakian defender now upholds The Pact from a shelf in my office/studio.

Ukulele. I decided a while back that I wanted to learn to play the ukulele. This decision did not come without trepidation — I took years of guitar lessons as a youngster and never got very good at playing the guitar. (Which is a charitable way of saying that I totally sucked at playing the guitar.) I’ll probably never be very good at playing the ukulele either. But even my clumsy fretting and strumming brings me joy. That’s something, yes?

Victoria Coren Mitchell. One of the world’s best female poker players, and the presenter of one of my favorite quiz shows, Only Connect. Is there anything she can’t do?

Walt Disney’s Enchanted Tiki Room. I fell in love with the Tiki Room on my first visit to Disneyland, way back in 19[mumble][mumble]. When I visited with the Pirate Queen in February of this year, I found my love unabated. It’s cheesy yet classic, dated yet timeless, silly yet charming. The performances by the lead voice actors (Wally Boag, Thurl Ravenscroft, Fulton Burley, and Ernie Newton) remain engaging, despite their broad (some might say stereotypical, and some might not be wrong) accents. There’s always at least one Audio-Animatronic character that doesn’t function quite perfectly. And yet, the moment the Tiki Room show concludes, I want to queue up again for another round. It’s one of my favorite childhood memories. Also, Dole Whip.

Xenon. It’s the noble gas used most frequently in film projection lamps. When you go to the movie theater and look at the brightly lit screen, you’re seeing xenon at work.

Yacht Rock. It’s not just a musical genre — it’s a way of life. The smooth, studio-crafted, jazz-inflected sounds of such late-’70s/early-’80s acts as Steely Dan, Toto, Kenny Loggins, Christopher Cross, Al Jarreau, and the Michael McDonald-era Doobie Brothers are my jam. (One of my jams, anyway.) Please don’t confuse true Yacht Rock with that stuff that gets played on the SiriusXM channel of the same name — most of it’s Nyacht Rock. (Hint: Jimmy Buffett is Nyacht Yacht Rock.) For the real deal, check out the pioneering 2005 web video series Yacht Rock, and Beyond Yacht Rock, the subsequent podcast hosted by connoisseurs JD Ryznar, Dave Lyons, Hunter Stair, and “Hollywood” Steve Huey.

Ziploc bags. I don’t know who invented them, or how that individual came up with the technology. But how did we ever live without them? The ones with the slider sealing mechanism? Pure engineering genius.

And as always, friend reader, I’m grateful for you. Thanks for stopping by on yet another Thanksgiving. I hope you’ve found much to be thankful for today. If you have, share some with someone who has a little less.

Peace.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Cinemania, Dead People Got No Reason to Live, Disney, Food Glorious Food, Hawaii, Hero of the Day, LearnedLeague, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, Sexiest People Alive, Soundtrack of My Life, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits

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SwanShadow Gives Thanks 14: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly

November 23, 2017

Each year, since this humble (in the classic sense of “low to the ground”) blog began in 2004, I’ve paused on Thanksgiving Day to take stock of the many things in my life and in the world about me for which I’m grateful. If I took the honest measure of my blessings, I’d be typing nonstop between Thanksgivings, and I’d never get much life lived. (Plus, these posts would get even more unbearably lengthy than they already are.)

So I hit upon the idea of choosing just 26 items, sorted alphabetically, to represent by means of metonymy the countless people and things for which I am grateful.

It’s been an interesting year. The Pirate Queen began a new job, which she enjoys, and where she is appreciated and fulfilled. I landed one of my most daunting voiceover projects this summer, survived a hectic busy season with my largest client, and checked a box off my career bucket list by booking a gig for one of the most recognizable companies on the planet. We traveled a bit, as we are wont to do.

The Daughter hit a pair of milestones: she, like the Pirate Queen, began a new job — one that she’s been chasing hard for a few years — and she and her beloved (formerly The Boyfriend, now The Fiance) got engaged. They’ll be married next May, prompting yet another nomenclatural change. The Daughter is  thrilled to begin these new chapters in her life, and I am thrilled — with a father’s wistful trepidation — for her. She wishes her mother was here to share her joy. I wish that too. But as the old saying goes, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride. So walk on, we shall.

2017 will be forever remembered in the North Bay as the Year of the Firestorm. If you live hereabouts, you know — and perhaps lived through — the devastating wildfires that destroyed thousands of structures across Sonoma and Napa counties. The Daughter and her Grandma were evacuated from their home for a week. Many longtime friends and acquaintances don’t have homes to which to return. The city of Santa Rosa and the other hard-hit communities will rebuild, but the lives that were lost will never be restored, and the precious possessions of thousands of people will never truly be replaced. I can’t put into words the sadness I feel for those I know — and so many others I don’t know — whose lives were irrevocably altered, even as I also can’t express my relief that my precious Daughter’s life was spared.

Walk on, we shall, indeed.

But enough preamble. Here’s the fourteenth installment of my annual Thanksgiving list. Next year, should we all live to see it, I’ll have to add a whole new table in the Word document where I keep track of each year’s offerings. (The chart is seven columns wide, and this will fill out the second chart.) For now, here’s what I’m grateful for… among so much else.

Almond butter. The Pirate Queen brought a jar home the other day from Trader Joe’s. In a world awhirl with chaos, the simple pleasure of an almond butter and blackberry jelly sandwich is an amazing comfort.

Blue Öyster Cult. This year on LearnedLeague (the world’s toughest online trivia league, and why haven’t you asked me for a referral yet?), I was privileged to write a quiz about a band whose music I’ve grokked since my high school days. (Yes, we had music then, you young punk. With electric guitars and everything.) I’ve still got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell.

Cabo San Lucas. Neither the Pirate Queen nor I had ever been to Cabo before our weeklong vacation there in February. We enjoyed our stay immensely. It’s not Hawaii — this was the first year in the last five that we didn’t visit my childhood home — but it’s lovely nonetheless. We’ll return, no doubt.

Draymond Green. He may be the third or fourth best player on the Warriors. He might also be the most irreplaceable. No one plays defense at a more intense level than Money 23. The Daughter has a picture of herself with him from a photo op before he rose to NBA All-Stardom.

Electricity. Thank you, Ben Franklin. (I’m still annoyed about that $100 bill question from Millionaire, though. Just so you know.)

Firefighters and First Responders. They couldn’t save every home and storefront in the North Bay, but they worked tirelessly and valiantly to save as many as they could, and to rescue and help as many people as possible. The community will never forget their efforts and dedication.

Gal Gadot. As a lifelong fan of Diana of Themyscira, I wasn’t fully convinced when the little-known Israeli actress landed the role. I’m convinced now. I’m glad Gal is our Wonder Woman. Change our minds, and change the world.

Hamilton. We had the opportunity to see the smash hit musical in San Francisco this summer. We did not throw away our shot. Few popular entertainments live up to their hype, but Lin-Manuel Miranda’s masterpiece gets as close as you’d imagine.

Ice hockey. I know, I know. I’m the guy who refers to hockey as “soccer on ice with sticks.” But thanks to the largesse of a good friend who’s a San Jose Sharks season ticketholder, we saw our first in-person game last season. It really is a heck of a sport to watch in person, in ways that don’t translate well on television. I’m a believer.

Jetways. I’m old enough to remember… okay, slow down; not the Wright brothers — but the days when you actually had to walk out onto the tarmac and climb a mobile staircase in order to board a plane at many airports. Give me the stretchable hallway any day.

Kilimanjaro. She rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

Linseed oil. Also called flaxseed oil, it’s the stuff that keeps the insides of my cast iron skillets silky smooth and nonstick. Liquid gold, it is.

Monet and Munch. We toured a pair of spectacular art exhibitions this year: Claude Monet: The Early Years at the Legion of Honor, and Edvard Munch: Between the Clock and the Bed at SFMOMA. In general, I’m not especially partial to Expressionist art, but seeing the work of these two great masters up close was powerfully impactful. I’m already looking forward to the next Monet exhibition here in two years.

NextDraft. Every day, I check in with several news sites and aggregators to keeptrack of what’s going on in this crazy world. Dave Pell’s NextDraft stands as one of the best curated aggregators I’ve come across. Dave skillfully mixes links to the day’s hard news with items that are merely fascinating. Always topical, always informative.

‘Oumuamua. “Strange visitor from another world” used to just mean Superman. Now, it’s the first object officially identified by astronomers as having traveled into our solar system from interstellar space. A cigar-shaped asteroid estimated at around 500 feet in length, its Hawaiian name means “scout” or “messenger.”

Patek Philippe. I narrated the first-ever full-scale North American exhibition by the world-renowned Swiss watchmaker this summer. In the process, I learned a ton about the craftspeople who design and build these incredible (and incredibly expensive) timepieces that can not only tell time, but in some instances play symphonies, display lunar cycles, and calculate dates hundreds of years into the future — all using mechanical, analog functionality. No microchip, no battery, just precision clockworks.

Quesadillas. Because hot, melty, delicious cheese.

Red Special, the one-of a kind guitar built by Brian May in his garage when he was a teenager, and which has lent its unique tone to Queen albums and concerts for more than four decades. I recently saw Brian wield his legendary axe in person for the first time in 35 years, and both guitar and guitarist amaze me still as much today as they did back then. If Brian and the Red Special had never given the world anything besides “Fat Bottomed Girls,” it would have been gift enough.

My Steel Will 1505, a.k.a. the Gekko, has featured as my everyday carry pocket knife for most of the past year. Solid, sturdy, and wicked sharp, with its maroon Micarta handle scales and black D2 steel blade, it’s both a workhorse and a creature of quiet beauty.

Thumbtack. The online service offers access to all kinds of local professionals, from electricians to mobile disc jockeys to personal trainers. Plus, they keep the Pirate Queen gainfully employed, for which we are enormously thankful.

“Unwritten”
Feel the rain on your skin.
No one else can feel it for you —
Only you can let it in.
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips.
Drench yourself in words unspoken;
Live your life with arms wide open;
Today is where your book begins —
The rest is still unwritten.

Vision. Last night, I stood on a BART train next to a blind man accompanied by his golden retriever guide dog. Even with my acute myopia and astigmatism — easily remedied by contact lenses — I am blessed that, unlike that unfortunate gentleman, I can open my eyes and see the world. Today, I’m not taking that for granted.

Women — and I have some wonderful ones in my life: the Pirate Queen, The Daughter, her Grandma, and more treasured friends and colleagues than I can list, along with the memory of KJ and the three decades we shared together. Our culture is currently awash with a tsunami of women finally feeling emboldened to speak out against the abuse, harassment, and disrespect they’ve experienced, and I applaud and support them. Be heard, sisters. Your voices matter.

XTC. Quirky, edgy, and impossible to categorize, Andy Partridge, Colin Moulding, and company formed one of the most underrated bands in the history of pop music. “Generals and Majors,” “Senses Working Overtime,” “The Mayor of Simpleton,” and the controversial “Dear God” — even if you didn’t understand all of the ideas (or didn’t agree with them), you had to admire the style.

Yeast — fueling bakeries and breweries for thousands of years. Except during Passover.

Zapper — that’s what I call my racket-shaped electric wand that strikes fear into the hearts of flying pests that dare disturb the sanctity of my abode. I’m perfectly content to let buzzing bugs buzz outdoors in their own environment, as long as they don’t attack me. But if you come into my airspace, critter, I’ve got some voltage waiting for you.

And as always, friend reader, I’m grateful for you, and the time you take to peruse my rambling prose. May you and yours find much for which to be appreciative on this Thanksgiving Day.

 

 

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Cinemania, Food Glorious Food, Hawaii, Hero of the Day, I'm a Warriors Worrier, LearnedLeague, My Home Town, Ripped From the Headlines, Sharp Objects, Soundtrack of My Life, SwanStuff, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, The Swan Tunes In, Trivial Pursuits, What's In My Pocket?

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A song of LL65

June 23, 2015

The 65th season of LearnedLeague — the Internet’s most auspicious ongoing quiz competition — has concluded. More to the point, LL65 marked my 10th season in the league. So, it’s a good milestone to look backward from, and consider how I did.

In LL65, I placed eighth (of 26) in Rundle A Frontier, my home for the past five seasons. This is my highest finish since I placed seventh in A Central back in LL60, and ties for my third-best standing historically. (I finished first in my rookie Rundle during LL56, and was also eighth in A West in LL57.)

In statistical terms, this felt like a return to form after my disappointing LL64. Although my match play record sagged a bit (10-8-7, after a 13-12-0 LL64), my correct answer percentage rose from a worst-ever .767 to .820, which is on par with my 10-season average of .814. Best of all, I posted my best-ever defensive efficiency score with a .721. I used to play dreadful defense — I had three consecutive seasons of sub-.600 defensive efficiency between LL61 and LL63 — but I decided two seasons ago that I was going to spend more time each match day on my defensive strategy, and the extra thought seems to be paying off.

I thought the questions this season seemed a little bit easier than the last several seasons. This reflected not only in my overall batting average, but in the fact that I scored eight perfect match days this season after only two in LL64. My opponents apparently found the material easier also, as the total number of correct answers posted against me was the highest since LL61.

It’s worth noting, however, that on Match Day 24, the penultimate day of the season, I had my all-time worst single-day regular-season performance with only two questions correct. Let’s take a look at that set of six, and examine why I found them so inscrutable.

Q1. The aggressive, condescending, and arrogant Yankees are the victors at the end of what rowdy and vulgar 1976 film comedy? Okay, that’s not so hard. Add up “rowdy and vulgar,” “1976 film comedy,” and baseball (suggested by the team name Yankees), and there’s only one possible answer: The Bad News Bears, starring Walter Matthau, the insufferable Tatum O’Neal, and future character standout Jackie Earle Haley.

Q2: The jihadist group in northeastern Nigeria known officially as Jama’atu Ahlis Sunna Lidda’Awati Wal-Jihad (People Committed to the Propagation of the Prophet’s Teachings and Jihad) is better known internationally by what name, which translates loosely into English as “Western education is forbidden”? This one’s a process of quick elimination born of ignorance. I can only name one jihadist group from Nigeria, and even though I have no idea what Boko Haram means, or what the group’s full official handle might be, I’m going with that.

So far, so good. But here’s where things went downhill.

Q3: El Grito de Dolores, the anniversary of which is celebrated as Mexican Independence Day, was a famous speech calling on the Mexican people to rebel against peninsulares and the Spanish colonial government. Name the Roman Catholic priest and revolutionary who gave this speech on September 16, 1810. Although I know when Mexican Independence Day is (and no, my fellow yanquis, it’s not Cinco de Mayo), I’m not familiar with this speech nor with the priest who uttered it. I put down Junipero Serra, who’s pretty much the only famous Mexican priest I can name, even though I know he had nothing to do with Mexican independence, and I’m reasonably certain that he was dead well before 1810. (A post-quiz check of Wikipedia confirms that Serra died in 1784.) The correct answer is Don Miguel Hidalgo, whose surname is familiar to me only as (a) the fictional Latin American country whose gold mines finance Doc Savage’s exploits, and (b) Viggo Mortensen’s horse in the film of the same name.

Q4: According to the lyrics of Billboard magazine’s No. 1 country song for 2013, “In this brand new Chevy with a lift kit, would look a hell of a lot better with you up in it, so baby you a song, you make me wanna roll my windows down and…” what? By this late stage, my antipathy for all things country is firmly established. It will therefore come as no surprise to you, friend reader, that I’ve never heard this song. The correct conclusion to the lyric in question is “cruise,” which I could never have guessed given a thousand tries, as it doesn’t rhyme with anything in the stanza provided. My answer was “kill myself, because I’m in a country song.” That had not a prayer of being right, but at least accurately represents my feelings.

Q5: The MacArthur, Julia Tuttle, John F. Kennedy, Broad, and Rickenbacker Causeways all span what bay? This was a complete stumper, as none of the names appeared to have any connection to the others, nor any common connection to any body of water that came readily to mind. MacArthur took me immediately to Manila Bay — naturally, since I lived in the Philippines for two years in the mid-1970s, and am familiar with the general’s historic significance in that part of the world. I didn’t remember a MacArthur Causeway in Manila Bay, nor did any of the other names make particular sense in that context (one might think that if Manila Bay was crisscrossed by multiple causeways, at least some of the names would be in Tagalog, or those of Filipino dignitaries), but with no other guess coming to mind, I made Manila Bay my answer. Alas, the correct answer is Biscayne Bay, as any Floridians in the room probably know. Coincidentally, the Pirate Queen had been in Miami just the previous week. Had I only looked at a map of the city while she was there, I might have gotten this one.

Q6: Jack Sock, Sam Querrey, Donald Young, Steve Johnson, and Tim Smyczek are among the highest-ranked Americans internationally in what sport? Sports buff though I am, not one of these names rang a bell. I therefore reasoned that the sport in question had to be an obscure one, as well as some individual competition in which Americans might not be the most famous participants. Confident that I would have heard of these gentlemen if they were golfers or figure skaters, I entertained such options as badminton and archery before deciding to go with chess. The correct answer is tennis, which just goes to show you the miserable state of disrepair into which American men’s tennis has fallen over the past few decades.

Good thing that Match Day wasn’t indicative of my entire season. Hopefully, I will get my kicks in LL66 in August.

Categories: LearnedLeague, SwanStuff, Trivial Pursuits

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Go Central, young man! (Rundle A Central, that is.)

March 27, 2014

LearnedLeague season 60 (hereafter, LL60) has concluded, with a grand time had by all 1824 trivia mavens who participated.

For the benefit of those new to the conversation, the greater League is divided into eight (soon to be nine) smaller leagues (formerly known as subregions). Within each league is a tiered system of player groups called Rundles, consisting of between 22 and 32 players. (The ideal Rundle size is 26, which allows for each player to face every other player in the Rundle exactly once during the 25-game season.)

The eight A Rundles — one in each league — form the top level of competition. Before LL60, only four A Rundles existed, with the most lethal being A West — nicknamed “A Murder” for the frighteningly high skill level among its members, many of whom were Jeopardy! all-stars, crossword puzzle superstars, and world-class quiz champions. For the season just concluded, in an effort to spread the best players around a bit more, each of the previous A Rundles was split into two. The former A West morphed into A Central — my new home for LL60 — and A Pacific.

I finished 7th in the newly established Rundle A Central, with a record of 13-4-8. That’s a significantly improved showing over my last season in the late, unlamented A Murder, when I ended up 26th of 30 players, with a record of 3-9-13. (Two of those three wins came on the last two Match Days of the season. It could, therefore, have been even uglier than it was.)

Or is it?

As interesting as it is to follow the head-to-head match totals that determine one’s standing within the Rundle, as a trivia purist I’m far more interested in that most basic of statistics: How many questions did I answer correctly? In this case, the answer is not as many as last season. In LL60, I scored 124 (of a possible 150) correct responses, for a batting average of .827. That’s not at all shabby. But in LL59 — the last season of A West — I notched 133 correct, a percentage of .887. This means that, with nine fewer correct answers this season over the previous, I gained 19 places in the standings.

It’s worth noting that I had the same correct answer total this season as I did in my first season in A West (LL57). That season, I finished in 8th place. In each of the next two seasons, my level of accuracy went up slightly — I had 125 correct (.833) in LL58, then the previously mentioned 133 (.887) in LL59 — even as I plummeted in the Rundle rankings: 17th in LL58, 26th in LL59. You can see the reason for this by looking at the ever-growing number of correct answers given by my opponents: 115 in LL57, jumping up to 122 in LL58, then a stratospheric 135 in LL59. Over the three seasons, even while my accuracy was getting marginally better, my competitors were consistently getting even better still.

Now you see just how freaking difficult it was to play among the monsters in A Murder.

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not complaining. A Central is plenty tough just as it is. But I’m under no illusion that my season-to-season record improved in LL60 because I suddenly got a lot smarter. I have the newly diluted competitive environment to thank.

It’s certainly not my defense. My defensive efficiency dropped this season to .671, from .692 in LL59. (We’ve already seen how well that latter number worked out for me. Which is to say, not much at all.) I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I will probably always be a mediocre defensive player, given that I have little desire to spend hours poring over my respective opponents’ question histories in an effort to more effectively divine what they may or may not know.

Anyway, the bottom line is that I managed to avoid relegation to the B level for yet another season, granting myself at least one more go at the A level.

LL61 begins on May 12.

Categories: Jeopardy!, LearnedLeague, SwanStuff, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits

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SwanShadow Gives Thanks: 10th Anniversary Edition

November 28, 2013

If you do something ten years in a row, it’s definitely a thing.

Every Thanksgiving beginning in 2004, I’ve paused here in my little corner of the World Wide Wackiness to express my appreciation for 26 people, places, and/or things, one for each letter of the English alphabet. Truth to tell, there are so many people, places, and/or things sharing my universe for which I am grateful, that if I seriously attempted to make an exhaustive list, I’d be typing from now until next Thanksgiving, by which time my fingers would long since have snapped off. Therefore, this has become my yearly exercise in gratitude, with its arbitrary format allowing me both room to range and boundaries at which to stop.

The list you’re about to read marks my 10th annual Thanksgiving post. (You are going to read it, aren’t you? You might as well; you’re here already.) Much has changed in my life during the decade since I composed the first one. No doubt, much more will change if I’m privileged to write others in Novembers yet to come. If I’m granted those opportunities, I promise to be as grateful — for everyone and everything listed, and for so much more — as I am on this Thanksgiving Day.

On this particular Festival of Turkey, I am thankful for…

Auditions. I have a weird job. The overwhelming majority of my working life is spent performing for free, in hope that someone will pay me money instead. Most workdays, I spend hours standing or seated (I switch it up a lot) in front of a microphone, auditioning for voiceover projects. Once in a while, I book one. As much I live for those latter moments, I also can’t help but appreciate how cool it is that for a few hours every day, it’s my task to just play.

Bay Bridge. We got a new one this year, finally — nearly a quarter-century after the original was horrifically damaged in the Loma Prieta earthquake of 1989, and three years after the not-yet-in-existence suspension span became the logo of the Golden State Warriors. The upgraded Bay Bridge will probably always play second fiddle to its more famous younger cousin around the corner, but it’s a beauty — and a treat to drive — nonetheless.

Crustaceans. Tasty giant insectoids that live underwater. I’m fond of all the edible species — lobsters, crabs, shrimp, langostines, crawfish, you name it. During our spring vacation in Australia,  the Pirate Queen and I dined on yet another variety that neither of us had ever tried: Moreton Bay bugs, prehistoric-looking creatures that resemble lobsters whose claws were snapped off, then were run over by a truck. Like their relatives worldwide, they sure were delicious.

Down Under. Speaking of Australia, we spent three incredible weeks touring the Island Continent and its next-door neighbor, the North Island of New Zealand. We saw a play at the Sydney Opera House, marveled at the mysterious sandstone monolith known as Uluru, explored a tropical rain forest north of Cairns, watched tiny penguins scurry ashore on St. Philip Island, enjoyed the view from two of the tallest towers in the Southern Hemisphere, and saw where the hobbits live. A spectacular adventure, and one that I should write much more about.

Enter the Dragon. The only motion picture to which I ever memorized every single line of dialogue. Throughout my teenage years, a poster depicting Bruce Lee in the film’s climactic fight scene graced my bedroom wall. In 2013, we lost Jim Kelly, who costarred alongside Lee as the irrepressible Williams. When Han, the villain of the piece, insists that Williams must prepare for defeat as well as victory, Williams replies with consummate cool, “I don’t waste my time with it. When it comes, I won’t even notice. I’ll be too busy looking good.”

Fountains of Wayne. When I need a quick pick-me-up, I throw on a tune by this power pop quartet from the Big Apple. Songs like “Denise,” “Maureen,” “Hey Julie” (my personal favorite), and the ubiquitous “Stacy’s Mom” never fail to put a grin on my face and some extra pizzazz in my step. The band’s name, incidentally, was cribbed from a garden ornaments store in Wayne, New Jersey.

Grandma. Not my Grandma, but The Daughter’s. With boundless patience and good humor, she shares her home with KM and her hyperactive canine companion Maddie. She graciously lets me drop in for visits, keeps me posted on goings-on in The Daughter’s life, and even hems a pair of pants for me on occasion. She’s not my mom, but after many years of dutiful service as my mother-in-law (she was my late first wife’s mother), she might as well be.

Heroes and heroines. Regular visitors here know that I own an extensive collection of original comic book superhero art. I started reading comics at age five, and from that time forward, the costumed characters who starred within those colorful pages became my fantasy friends. If you ask me why I love superheroes and superheroines, I can rattle off a litany of reasons. But the one that trumps all the others is this: It just feels good to be reminded that there are heroes in the world. The real ones don’t usually wear costumes. You know who you are.

iPad. It’s the device that serves up my VO scripts, delivers the news, keeps me in touch with friends and colleagues, and provides the occasional stress-alleviating game of virtual pinball. Thanks, Steve Jobs, wherever you are.

Jupiter Jones. The leader of the Three Investigators proved to my boyhood self that a smart chubby kid could be a hero. He proved it to Alfred Hitchcock, too. You could look it up.

KM, referred to more often here as The Daughter. The brightest, funniest, most thoughtful offspring any father could ever ask. I continue to be shocked and awed by the young woman she’s become. It’s unfathomable to me that she’ll be 25 next year. That’s the same number of years that I spent married to her mother KJ, who lost her battle with breast cancer in 2010, but left an indelible legacy in the daughter she birthed, raised, and continues to inspire.

LearnedLeague. It’s described by its creator and Commissioner, the honorable Thorsten A. Integrity, as “a creed, an ideal, a Weltanschauung.” I call it the universe’s greatest online trivia league, where some of the finest quizzers on Earth —  from Jeopardy! champions and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire winners to The Beast and The Governess from both the American and original UK versions of The Chase — assemble to do daily battle. An experience of knowledge warfare both adrenaline-pumping and humbling. Lately, more the latter.

Monterey Bay Aquarium. Endlessly fascinating and dazzlingly educational, it’s one of my favorite spaces to wander. Filled to bursting with phenomenal displays of ocean life, it’s as though Aquaman invited you to hang out at his house for the day.

Navigation apps. How did the directionally challenged among us get around before GPS? Maybe we didn’t. Some of us might still be out there, lost in the boondocks without a clue how to get home.

Oracle Arena, or as we like to call it during the NBA season, Warriors Ground. The oldest active arena in the Association is also the loudest, wildest, and — thanks to a long-overdue ownership change, leading to an influx of top-flight talent over the past couple of years — most exciting home court in basketball. With Splash Brothers Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson bombing away from downtown Oakland, All-Star David Lee maintaining a seemingly nonstop streak of double-doubles, center Andrew Bogut finally healthy to anchor the middle, and key acquisition Andre Iguodala completing the puzzle, the boys in blue and gold come ready to rock the house.

PayPal, for making it quick and easy to do business online, and for keeping the Pirate Queen gainfully employed.

Speaking of whom… all hail the Queen of Pirates, who shivers my timbers without ever threatening to make me walk the plank. (I think she’s thought about it, though.) We are at once the classic Odd Couple and a perfect match. It would be impossible to envision the second chapter of my adult life without her.

Renaissance Faire. Seriously, who doesn’t love spending a day surrounded by merry folk in Elizabethan drag, spouting in pseudo-Shakespearean patois like the mighty Thor? (Which raises the age-old question: Why did a supposed Norse quasi-demigod talk as though he’d wandered in from a road company of Hamlet? Discuss.) I totally get into the RenFaire atmosphere — it’s among the best venues for people-watching to be found anywhere. Park me on a hay bale while blackguards and wenches regale me with sea chanteys and bawdy songs, and I’m as giddy as Puck on a midsummer’s night.

Solvang. Remember: Copenhagen is Danish. Solvang is Dane-ish.

Tropicana Las Vegas. After burial in the bowels of the cavernous MGM Grand, followed by drowning in the screaming miasma of Circus Circus, TCONA — that’s the Trivia Championships of North America, for the uninitiated — finally found a fitting home in its third year, at the Tropicana. Laid-back, comfortable, user-friendly, and conveniently located, the Trop provided the best experience yet for our annual Continental Congress of quiz nuts. I was thrilled to hear earlier this month that we’ll be back there again next summer.

Uluru. The emotional highlight of our Australian expedition, nothing prepared me for the power and majesty of what Westerners formerly dubbed Ayers Rock. Scientists describe it as an inselberg — Uluru is to the Australian Outback what an iceberg is to the Arctic Ocean, albeit on a far more imposing scale. As immense as the rock we can see is, there’s a good 80% more of it under the desert surface. It’s as though God were holding this ginormous stone at the creation of the world, set it down in the center of Australia while He busied Himself with other creative tasks, then left it there. You should go see it. But be warned — billions (and I do mean billions) of obnoxious flies share the site.

Vermeer, Johannes. The legendary painter’s masterwork, Girl with a Pearl Earring — sometimes referred to as “the Dutch Mona Lisa” — made a tour stop in our fair city this summer. I’ve seen the image dozens of times, but standing before the actual canvas in all its luminous wonder shook me to my shoes. I literally had tears welling in my eyes as I looked upon this sublime beauty. A true representation of the power of art.

The Walking Dead. Both the TV series that the Pirate Queen and I have grown to love, and the video game series that keeps many of my talented voice acting friends employed. I haven’t scored a role yet. But I’ll keep trying.

Xhosa. How can you not love a language that sounds like humankind communicating with dolphins?

Yams… because it’s Thanksgiving, and they’re yummy.

Zite, the news aggregation app that puts all the cool stuff right at my fingertips. What’s great about Zite is that you can give it feedback on every article it offers — I like this or I don’t like that — and it adjusts future filtering based on your input. You can also set specific subject categories, from ocean-broad (“Politics”) to pinpoint-narrow (“Hunter Pence”), and the app will make sure you get a bounty of content on that topic. There are plenty of apps that function similarly, but I’ve yet to find one that does the job as efficiently and as effectively as Zite.

And as always, friend reader, I’m thankful for you, who take the time to stop in here from time to time and peruse my drivel. I don’t use that word “friend” lightly. I appreciate your kind attention, and hope that my words continue to prove worthy.

May you and the people you love have much to be grateful for on this Thanksgiving Day… and may we all be here for the next one.

Categories: Cinemania, LearnedLeague, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, Soundtrack of My Life, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits

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A LearnedLeague update: LL58 postmortem

September 25, 2013

LearnedLeague Season 58 concluded this week, and in the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor, “I will survive.”

After a grueling 25-day campaign, I managed to finish 17th in Rundle A West — without dispute, the league’s most talent-loaded bracket. By placing above the bottom 10 in our 32-player Rundle, I avoided relegation (the LL euphemism for “demotion”) to a lower bracket for next season. Not escaping that fate were several esteemed competitors whom I consider superstars in the trivia world.

Sometimes, it is indeed better to be lucky than good.

It’s worth noting that my placement in A West plummeted nine slots between last season (when I finished 8th) and this, even though my statistical performance in both seasons was similar. (My head-to-head matchplay record in LL57 was 11-9-5; this season, LL58, I went 10-9-6.) The primary contributing factor here was the disbanding after LL57 of the League’s previous top level, Rundle Championship, and the redistribution of its participants into the four A-level Rundles. A West inherited several former R-Champ members, raising the difficulty factor of our bracket exponentially. (Not that it needed to get more difficult. Rundle A West has long borne the nickname “A Murder” with good reason.) I would have to check name by name to be certain, but I’m pretty sure that every A West member who was in R-Champ in LL57 finished above me in LL58. So, there you go.

Now that I’ve completed three full LL seasons, the last two in A West, it’s a good time to analyze my overall performance in the League to date.

My win-loss-tie record stands at 42-21-12. That’s significantly skewed by my rookie season, in which I went 21-3-1 against other rookies and won my Rundle. None of my fellow R Central competitors had yet advanced to A-level as of LL58 (I believe one or two just earned promotion to A for next season), so it’s fair to say that I compiled that gaudy rookie record against less-stiff competition than what I’ve faced in A West the past two seasons. So, let’s call that first season’s 21 wins an outlier. In A-level competition, I’m a just–over-.500 hitter.

It’s also important to understand wins, losses, and ties in the context of LearnedLeague’s unique method of match play. In LL, defense — that is, the point values assigned to each day’s questions by each player, based on his or her estimation of that day’s opponent’s likelihood of answering each question correctly — plays a critical role. Quite frequently, a player wins or ties a match in which his or her opponent offers more correct answers — simply by virtue of more effective defense. Here’s an example: Player A gets four of the match’s six questions correct; Player B assigned those four questions values of 3, 2, 2, and 1. (Player A therefore missed two questions, valued at 1 and 0.) Player B gets five out of six, earning the following points: 0, 1, 1, 2, 2. (Player B missed the sixth question, valued by Player B at 3.) Player A’s score is 8(4) — that is, 8 points on 4 correct responses. Player B’s score is 6(5) — 6 points on 5 correct responses. Since only the match points, and not the number of correct answers, determines the outcome of the match, Player A wins, despite getting one less question right than Player B.

As a hardcore trivia guy, I sometimes find that system less than satisfying. Ideally, every trivia matchup would be decided purely on the basis of “who knows more stuff.” But the fact is, even Jeopardy!, the venue from which whatever minuscule trivia street cred I possess is derived, works the same way. I’ve certainly won games in my Jeopardy! career where one of my opponents answered more questions correctly, but I happened to get more of the high-dollar-value questions, or a Daily Double or two, correct. It’s how game creators make games competitive and exciting. I get that, and I’m cool with it.

I do, however, like to keep track of my own performance based strictly on my percentage of correct answers. When it comes to LearnedLeague, I’m pleased that I’ve continued to improve in this regard. In my rookie season, I notched 118 correct responses for a .787 batting average. In LL57, my first season in A West, I got 124 answers right, upping my average to .827. In the season just concluded, I scored 125 correct answers (.833). Some of that is pure luck, of course — you happen to get asked things that you know, or can figure out — but I’ve also been working on upping my game by reviewing material in categories where I could use a boost. I also spend at least a bit of time each evening playing quizzes on Sporcle. You just never know when knowing, say, the capital of Burkina Faso will come in handy. (It’s Ouagadougou, in case you were curious.)

Speaking of categories where I could use a boost…

To help facilitate defense, LearnedLeague publishes extensive statistical background on each player’s performance. At a glance, you can survey an opponent’s track record in every category, and see where his or her weaknesses lie. (You can — if you’re really into it — review every question your opponent has ever played, and discover which specific items he or she got right or wrong. I’m not quite that anal-retentive.)

Were you to review my statistical profile, you’d find few surprises if you know me well at all. After three seasons, my highest correct percentages are in Current Events (100%), Television (96.9%), Film (96.7%), Theatre (92.9%), Lifestyle (a catch-all category that encompasses such diverse areas as religion and fashion — 91.7%), and Games and Sports (90%). You’d have predicted that, yes?

Conversely, my nemeses are Art (60%), Classical Music (58.8%), and of course, Math (16.7%). Again, if you know me, you know that my ineptitude in mathematics rivals only my distaste for country music. In fact, I believe that Hell is an eternal algebra class with country music playing at ear-splitting volume over the loudspeakers.

I’ve been doing some brush-up reading on art, and trying to memorize some basic facts about the most notable classical composers. I think it’s helping. Nothing will help me get better at math. If you find yourself facing me in a future LearnedLeague match, and there’s a math question in the day’s sextet, you might as well slap a big fat 3 on that one. (Then again, I do pull one out of thin air 16.7% of the time. So, you never can be too certain.)

For what it’s worth, I’ve also attempted to work on my defense. I’m consistently a subpar — although not altogether horrible — defender, which means I do a mediocre job at assigning points based on my opponent’s perceived strengths and weaknesses. I could probably win an extra couple of games each season just through better defense, so I’m trying to take more time with that portion of each day’s quiz. My defensive efficiency rating improved to .672 this season, from the previous season’s .651, so I suppose I’m doing something right. Or at least, less wrong.

LearnedLeague 59 begins November 11. I’m looking forward to the next challenge.

Categories: Jeopardy!, LearnedLeague, SwanStuff, Trivial Pursuits, Uncategorized

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TCONA 3: Most of my pursuits are trivial

August 16, 2013

I just flew in from Las Vegas, and boy, is my brain tired.

Actually, the Pirate Queen and I flew back from Bright Light City two days ago, and I’m mostly not tired any more. I’d headed to Vegas last weekend for the third annual Trivia Championships of North America — henceforth, TCONA, or I’ll be typing all day. The Pirate Queen joined me on Sunday following the festivities, and we spent a blissful three days checking out the sights and sounds of one of my favorite vacation destinations.

But let’s talk TCONA.

What began two summers ago as a largely informal gathering of game show champions, Quiz Bowl veterans, and pub quiz mavens has ballooned in this third installment into a real live media event. Not only were crews from two nationally televised game shows — NBC’s Million Second Quiz, and The Chase, GSN’s new Stateside version of the UK hit — on site to conduct in-person auditions, but the stars of both the US and UK editions of The Chase also participated in several of the weekend’s competitions. The Experts, easily the best weekly quiz program on YouTube, taped four episodes before a live audience. And of course, there was in attendance the usual assortment of trivia geeks from all over the continent, and beyond. (I met at least one fellow who’d come all the way from Sweden. Or maybe Norway. Somewhere in Scandinavia, anyway.)

A summary of one attendee’s highlights follows.

The weekend commenced on Friday morning with a multi-part written quiz. This opening salvo serves not only to start the neurons firing, but also to provide an initial gauge of one’s level among the competitors. My first thought after completing the test was that I should have ingested more coffee before we began. I was relatively pleased, once the scores were published later that day, to discover that I hadn’t fared as poorly as I feared, and in fact, I’d outpointed several folks whose names are far better known in the trivia world than my own. With another triple latte in my system, I might have performed even better.

One of TCONA’s primary individual events is 5×5, a buzzer battle whose gameplay bears distant similarity to a certain television quiz program with which I am intimately acquainted. Despite the aforementioned acquaintance, I never seem to do very well at 5×5, and this year’s contest was no exception. I lost my first match thanks to a foolishly aggressive final wager — I was leading up to that point — on a question about Celebrity Apprentice, a program with which I am clearly not as intimately acquainted as I thought. I was never a factor in my second game, and thus lost any hope of advancing to further rounds.

I had high expectations for myself in another individual event, LearnedLeague Live. At TCONA 1, I won my first round against seven other competitors, despite never having played the game before. Last year, I held my own at an eight-player table that included several seasoned LearnedLeague veterans; I didn’t win the table, but I felt that I acquitted myself decently. This year, I made the critical error of playing at a table featuring two of the greatest (and two of my favorite) players in Jeopardy! history, Jerome Vered and Dan Melia. Note to self: Next year, instead of sitting with people you like, sit with people you might stand a chance of beating. Assuming there are any.

For the main team event, Quiz Bowl, I reconnected with two other members of last TCONA’s silver-medal-winning squad for a run at fresh hardware. Our team captain, Dave Legler, who once bagged $1.7 million on the game show Twenty-One, recruited as our fourth player a trivia host from Chicago, Jeremy Cahnmann. Combine that with our not-so-secret weapon, Jonathan Hess, a soft-spoken grad student from South Carolina who knows more arcane information than I’ve forgotten — and I’ve forgotten a lot over the years — and little old me (you remember that I’ve won eight games on that TV quiz show with the Canadian ex-pat, right?), and we liked our chances going in. We galloped off to a tremendous start, going undefeated in our first three games and winning our four-team bracket. Then, in our first elimination match, we ran into a tough crew led by Anne Hegerty, one of the “chasers” on the original British version of The Chase. As coincidence would have it, the game commenced with a battery of Anglocentric material that Anne leaped all over like a wolf attacking a Porterhouse. Our side rallied, though, making up ground furiously as the game progressed, only to lose in the end by the value of a single question. It was a hard loss to stomach… but there’s always next year.

Luckily for me, redemption came in the other team event, the Pub Quiz Mashup. Another Jeopardy! Ultimate Tournament of Champions veteran, Dr. Shane Whitlock, invited me to team up with him and his charming bride. We added three other players to fill our roster, which Shane dubbed (in the time-honored pub quiz tradition of quirky team names) “Natalie Portmanteau.” After seven often-hilarious rounds of play, we walked away with the silver medal. Except… well… we didn’t exactly. An apparent scoring error, uncovered between the end of the event and the medal presentation the following day, resulted in our being bumped from second place to third. So we got the bronze medal instead of the silver. I don’t care — it started out silver, and I’m sticking to that. It’ll always be silver to me.

Having the two hottest new game shows in television making their first TCONA appearances generated considerable buzz. Both Mark “The Beast” Labbett, the “chaser” on the US version of The Chase, and the show’s producer came in for Q&A sessions. (Not only is Mark a smart fellow, he’s also ginormous. They don’t call him The Beast for nothing.) Quite a few folks auditioned for Million Second Quiz; it’ll be interesting to watch the show and see how many people I know who made the final cut.

Speaking of game shows, if you aren’t already watching The Experts every Monday (or whenever you choose — it’s on YouTube, so tune in when it suits you, but the new eps post on Mondays), you should be, doggone it. Produced by my Jeopardy! colleague Alan Bailey, it’s consistently as entertaining a 20 minutes as you’ll spend. Alan and his crew shot four new games on Saturday night, including an all-star slugfest between The Chase‘s Anne Hegerty (whose subject specialty was Terry Pratchett’s Discworld) and Jeopardy! superstars Brad Rutter and Roger Craig (experts on Mad Men and Prince, respectively). All four games offered action, suspense, brain-shredding trivia superiority by the contestants, and abundant joviality for all. I won’t spoil the outcomes for you — you’ll just have to hie yourself over to YouTube when the new shows post, and check them out for yourself.

There were, as usual, plenty of ancillary events in and around all of the above. Quiz hosts and trivia producers from all over North America bring their favorite material and stage impromptu games throughout the weekend, which anyone can drop into and play. TCONA is also the home of the World Championship of Kno’dgeball, an amusing yet bizarre hybrid of trivia and dodgeball. (Your Uncle Swan declines participation in the latter, preferring not to combine mental challenge with risk of bodily injury. But the Kno’dgeballers do seem to enjoy themselves.)

Of course, TCONA’s most memorable highlights are always the connections and reconnections with my fellow trivia mavens. TCONA is the one place each year where I run into some of the many amazing people I’ve met via Jeopardy! — Bob Harris, Roger Craig, Brad Rutter, Steve Chernicoff, Dan Melia, Shane Whitlock, Alan Bailey, Jerome Vered, and I’m probably forgetting others, for which I’ll apologize in advance. (Yes, all of those people are as intelligent as they appear on TV. More, even.) It’s also a chance to meet up again with my Quiz Bowl teammates Dave and Jonathan, as well as many other new acquaintances I’ve made over these past three events, including such quiz show stars as Who Wants to Be a Millionaire winners Ed Toutant and Joe Trela, whose exploits I’ve admired from the other side of the tube. It was fun to put faces to many of the names with whom I compete in LearnedLeague — I think at least half of Rundle A West, my current LL bracket, was in attendance this year, several of whom I met for the first time.

Kudos to the TCONA team for lining up an infinitely superior venue this time out. The Tropicana met the event’s needs as well as anyone could have hoped after the horrors of Circus Circus last year. The Trop’s not perfect — in particular, its dining options are limited, especially in the budget-friendly/quick-service areas (there’s neither a buffet nor a true food court). Still, it’s an easy stroll across the street to the MGM Grand, New York New York, or the tram-connected Excalibur/Luxor/Mandalay Bay trio, so ample eating choices are right nearby. On the positive side, the conference center is easily accessible, and eminently convenient if you’re staying in the Trop’s Club Tower — basically, step off the elevator and you’re there. I couldn’t have been more satisfied with my room, which was large, well-appointed, clean, and comfortable. The in-room high-speed wifi worked splendidly. (Don’t get me started about the execrable Internet access situation I encountered when I moved over to Excalibur after the convention ended.) And, if you like to while away your free time and dollars in the casino, I found the Trop’s blackjack dealers as friendly and helpful as any I’ve encountered anywhere in Vegas.

Speaking of the Trop, TCONA shared the hotel’s weekend hospitality with another niche convention: the National Pole Dancing Championships. (Yes, that’s a thing. I kid you not.) I can assure you that, for the most part, you’d have had scant difficulty determining which guests were there for the trivia, and which for the pole dancing. Let’s just say that, were you to draw a Venn diagram depicting quiz nerds and pole dancers, there would be precious little overlap between the two sets. Maybe none.

Before I departed, I registered in advance for TCONA 4. You could join me in Vegas (probably at the Trop, but that’s yet to be negotiated) next August 8-10. But I’ll warn you: You’d better bring your A game.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Jeopardy!, LearnedLeague, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits, Vegas, Baby

Comments: 3 Comments

A is for Eighth (phonetically, anyway)

June 18, 2013

Until the 57th season of LearnedLeague concluded yesterday evening, it hadn’t occurred to me that I had completely neglected to update here, not only about the season just ended, but the outcome of the previous season as well. Permit me herewith to remedy these omissions.

In LL56 — my debut season as a LLama (that is, a member of LearnedLeague) — I managed to narrowly win my rookie Rundle (read: bracket) with a record of 21-3-1. By finishing in the top three, I earned advancement for the next season to a “B” level Rundle, the second highest division aside from Championship level. Imagine my surprise, then, to discover that I had instead been bumped all the way up to Rundle A West, the top tier in my region. Apparently, a Rookie Rundle winner can qualify for a “battlefield promotion” to “A” level given an arcane combination of scoring and circumstances, and my first-season stats met the necessary criteria.

Thus, I was thrown into one of the toughest groupings in the entire League for LL57. To give you an idea of just how tough, this season’s A West competitors included at least six Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions veterans (including four of my colleagues from the Ultimate Tournament of Champions in 2005), a million-dollar winner from Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, several high finishers in the World Quizzing Championships, and a guy who writes trivia questions for a living.

In a word… yikes.

Needless to say, I did not match sheer-beginner’s-luck success from the prior season. I spent most of the 25-game run languishing at or slightly below the middle of the pack — falling as far as 20th on Match Day 17 — before rallying to win my final three games to finish in 8th place. The last game of the season could easily have gone the other way, as my opponent and I both got four of the day’s six questions correct. I just happened to assign defensive points in a fortuitous (read: blindly lucky) manner, eking out a one-point victory. If I’d lost the match, I’d have ended up 14th. My final record: A far more down-to-earth 11-9-5.

Here were the questions from the concluding match of LL57.

  • Question 1: Give the last name of the man who was a pioneer in the development of sound effect techniques used in the production of motion pictures — and after whom the art of post-production sound effect creation is now named.
  • Question 2: Bob Wills and Milton Brown, with their bands The Lightcrust Doughboys, Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys, and Milton Brown and His Musical Brownies, were pioneers in a musical style, a subgenre of country music, that is known today by what name? It was born in the Texas-Oklahoma region in the 1920s, was popularized in a second wave in California in the late 1940s, and reintroduced in the 1970s in bands such as Asleep at the Wheel.
  • Question 3: What was the name of the official proclamation, issued in April of 1598 by King Henry IV, which granted historic concessions to the Protestant Huguenots of France?
  • Question 4: Which is the only element in the halogen group on the periodic table which presents as a liquid at room temperature and pressure?
  • Question 5: Kaizen (“continuous improvement”), Genchi Genbutsu (“go and see yourself”), and Nemawashi (“laying behind-the-scenes groundwork”) are among the management principles first made famous by what manufacturer?
  • Question 6: What is the best-known and most critically acclaimed novel written in the English language centered on the subject of hebephilia (it’s fourth on Modern Library’s list of the 100 best English-language novels of the 20th century)?

Got your answers ready?

Are you sure?

Okay, then. Here come the correct responses.

Answer 1. As an actor, there’s no way I’d better miss this one. The talented people who create ambient sound effects in movies and television — everything from footsteps to rustling leaves and shattering glass — are known as Foley artists. FOLEY is the last name of the fellow who pioneered the art form. (For bonus points, his first name was Jack.)

Answer 2. I’d never heard of Milton Brown and His Musical Brownies, much less the Lightcrust Doughboys. Heck, I might have thought the latter was the house band at the Pillsbury Bake-Off. I did, however, know that Bob Wills is considered the father of WESTERN SWING. (Hey, the fact that I detest country music doesn’t mean I’ve never heard of it. I nearly ran an entire category about Willie Nelson on Jeopardy! back in the day.)

Answer 3. I had no clue on this one. The minutiae of European history has never been my strongest suit. And apparently, there was no such item as the Magna Huguenota, which is the facetious answer I submitted. My opponent, on the other hand, scored three huge points for knowing all about the EDICT OF NANTES.

Answer 4. This is one of those little science factoids that pops up in trivia quizzes fairly frequently. BROMINE is the lone member of the halogen group that’s liquid at normal room temperatures and pressures. If you can remember the five halogens in periodic table order from top to bottom, it helps: the top two (chlorine and fluorine) are gasses, so they rise; the bottom two (iodine and astatine) are solids, so they sink; bromine is liquid, so it floats in the middle. If that gets you points at your next pub quiz night, you’re welcome.

Answer 5. I thought about this long and hard, and still muffed it. As soon as I submitted my answers, I remembered the movie Gung Ho, about a Japanese company that takes over a vacated automobile plant in the U.S. Had I flashed on that sooner, I might have gotten my brain around to TOYOTA. Or I might have said Nissan or Mitsubishi, and still been wrong. For the record, I put down Sony — that was the Most Common Wrong Answer, so at least I wasn’t alone.

Answer 6. It probably helps if you know that hebephilia is the sexual fetish for children at the age of pubescence (say, 11 to 14 years old — as distinguished from pedophilia, the fetish for prepubescent children, or ephebophilia, the fetish for postpuberty adolescents). It would also help if you’d been in my English literature class at San Francisco State, in which we studied Vladimir Nabokov’s LOLITA. Or maybe you just like The Police.

LearnedLeague Season 58 begins on August 19. I’ll be back in A West for that one.

Let’s hope I survive.

Categories: LearnedLeague, Listology, SwanStuff, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits

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