Archive for the ‘That's Cool!’ category

Burj Khalifa: Arabic for “she’s a big’un”

January 4, 2010

The world’s tallest building opened today, and already they’ve changed its name.

Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest structure

Known throughout its years of construction as Burj Dubai (“Dubai Tower” in Arabic), the 2,717-foot-tall behemoth is now officially Burj Khalifa (“Tower Named After the Rich Dude Who Loaned Us Money” in Arabic). The switch in nomenclature honors Sheik Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, president of the United Arab Emirates, whose infusion of petroleum cash enabled debt-ridden Dubai to complete the tower.

To give us some perspective, Burj Khalifa stands twice the height of the Empire State Building, and rises more than 50 stories higher than America’s tallest building, Willis Tower (which used to be known as Sears Tower until it was renamed last year… must be a thing with supertall buildings).

Yeah, that’s big.

The tallest building that I personally have ever been inside is the Stratosphere Tower in Las Vegas. For someone as acutely acrophobic as I am — I’m uncomfortable just climbing or descending stairs — standing on the observation deck at the Strat was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.

So if I ever make it to Dubai — and yes, it’s on my bucket list — I’ll probably content myself with admiring the Burj from ground level.

I will, however, buy the T-shirt.

Citizen of eWorld

November 30, 2009

A random post to an online forum I frequent jolted into memory a fact that I hadn’t considered before today…

I’ve been online for 15 years.

That’s almost as long as the World Wide Web itself has been around.

I bought my first computer way back in 1988, with a chunk of my original Jeopardy! winnings. This wonderful addition was an Apple Macintosh Plus, equipped with what seemed at the time like almost unlimited memory — a full megabyte of internal RAM, supplemented by an outboard hard drive boasting 20 (yes, 20!) MB. Heck, on my current Windows Vista-powered Dell notebook, a single keystroke exhausts 20 MB. (I’m exaggerating, but not by much.) But back in the day, that kind of juice meant I was living large in the cybernetic age.

Even more bizarre, I equipped that microscopically brained Mac with a slightly used floor-demo laser printer that cost more than all the computer hardware I’ve purchased in the 20 years since. Combined.

My Mac Plus and I chugged along happily together for six years, blissful in our word-processing glory. Then, in 1994, I started hearing about some newfangled “Internet” thing, and this “World Wide Web” that made it accessible to the common man. So, being about as common as men come, I invested in a fancy new Mac that not only possessed scads more computing power than my charming old relic, but even came with a color (!) monitor. Best of all, by connecting a snazzy dialup modem, I could launch myself out onto the WWW and communicate with folks near and far.

Talk about living large.

At the time, Apple offered its own self-branded online service for Mac users only, known as eWorld. I was, I’m fairly certain, one of the original handful of eWorld subscribers, joining shortly after the service went live in the summer of ’94. When eWorld debuted, it featured a quaint graphic interface that collected all of the possible online destinations under a handful of category umbrellas, organized to make the Internet feel like a global village.

Newsstand enabled one to connect with news and sports resources. What few e-commerce sites existed then were grouped under Marketplace. Such nexuses as Arts and Leisure Pavilion, Business and Finance Plaza, and Learning Center collected other types of sites. Computer Center offered Mac technical support. Community Center was eWorld’s native aggregation of forums and bulletin boards. If you couldn’t figure out where to go or what to do, you tapped the Info Booth icon.

Navigating eWorld was clunky and far from intuitive. in those halcyon days, though, one thrilled at the mere notion of linking to a world of information with a few clicks of a (single-button) mouse.

Frankly, there never was more than a smattering of citizens populating eWorld. That explains why Apple pulled the plug on the service less than two years later, fobbing us loyalists off on then-nascent America Online. In March 1996, my electronic address changed overnight from my very first, SwanShadow-at-eWorld-dot-com, to the somehow less cool-sounding SwanShadow-at-AOL-dot-com. (I imagine that latter e-dress is probably still extant, even though I haven’t accessed it in a half-decade or more.)

Without question, I’ve seen incredible change along the information superhighway over the last 15 years. It’s faster, infinitely more diverse, and innumerable ways exist to find what you’re searching for.

It’s just hard to believe I’ve been out here in the ether this long.

Quizmasters!

November 10, 2009

Here’s proof that life sometimes winds around in bizarre directions that one never expected.

The game show fanatics in the room will recall that back in 2005, Jeopardy! mounted its Ultimate Tournament of Champions — or, as I like to refer to it, the Quest for Ken Jennings. 145 of us former Jeopardy! stalwarts were invited to participate in a mega-round-robin that played out over half a television season, for an opportunity to win major cash and reclaim a smidgen of (for some of us, anyway) long-faded glory. Brad Rutter, who had won a previous Jeopardy! super-tourney called Million Dollar Masters, plowed through the field, ultimately besting Mr. Jennings (no relation) and Jerome Vered in the finals to claim the two-million-dollar grand prize.

Shortly after the UTOC concluded, a group of Jeopardy! veterans from around the Bay Area — including your Uncle Swan — got together to play an evening of pub trivia at a Berkeley watering hole. We dubbed ourselves the Ruttersnipes, in Brad’s honor. Jon Carroll, the San Francisco Chronicle‘s human interest columnist, tagged along to document the event.

Now, four years later, I’m hosting a weekly game for the same quiz company.

I landed the gig via a serendipitous confluence of circumstances. As many of you know, a few months ago my wife KJ involuntarily retired from work on medical disability. Almost simultaneously, our daughter KM finished junior college and continued her studies at a state university. With our income shrinking and our expenses rising, I had my eyes open for opportunities to generate some additional revenue.

At the same time, Brainstormer, a San Francisco-based pub quiz company that runs trivia nights in taverns and restaurants around the country, was looking for someone to host the Tuesday night game at an establishment a mere stone’s throw from my house. (Assuming, of course, that you’re throwing your stones with a rocket launcher. A howitzer, at the very least.)

As Cinderella once said… put it all together and what have you got? Bibbidi bobbidi boo.

So, if you happen to be cruising through Sonoma County on a Tuesday evening, and experience a hankering to challenge your mental faculties (and perhaps nosh on a few freshly crafted tacos for a mere one dollar each), stop by The Cantina in downtown Santa Rosa around 8 p.m. We’ve got music, we’ve got laughter, we’ve got mind-bending trivia. Best of all, there’s no cover charge.

If the sleek, dashingly handsome quiz host looks familiar… I’m probably home with the creeping crud that night.

But if there’s a nerdy, middle-aged fat guy running the game, that’s me.

What’s In My Pocket? #6: Zero Tolerance 0200

November 2, 2009

It occurred to me today that I haven’t posted about my sharp-object obsession since I moved here to the new digs.

Well, it’s high time.

Pretty much the only surviving vestige of my boyhood tour of duty in the Cub Scouts — besides my pathological dread of adult men wearing neckerchiefs and khaki shorts — is my passion for pocket knives. For most of my life, I’ve toted around some version of a Swiss Army knife. You’d be amazed how many times each day I find myself in need of something sharp.

Some years ago, I switched from SA knives to folding blades. Two reasons propelled the change: (1) I grew frustrated with the lumpy thickness of a multifunction knife in my pocket; and (2) I never really use anything except the knife blade anyway. So it made double sense to streamline.

In the years since, I’ve acquired a dozen or so quality folding knives, most of which rotate into and out of my pocket on a regular basis. My pieces range from a utilitarian Kershaw Storm II on the low end, to a beautiful Chris Reeve Sebenza with cocobolo wood inlays that by itself cost as much as half my other knives combined.

But if I’m ever stranded on a deserted tropical island with only one folding knife in my possession, I hope that’s the day I’m packing my Zero Tolerance 0200.

Zero Tolerance 0200

The ZT0200 is one massive beast of a knife. It’s not the longest blade I own — my Benchmade Skirmish boasts a whopping 4.30 inches of gleaming steel — but it’s the heaviest (nearly eight ounces), toughest knife in my kit. If I had to, I’m confident that I could bring down a water buffalo with this sucker, without even deploying the blade. I’d just club the bovine between the eyes with the handle. (Sorry, PETA. I’m speaking hypothetically.)

KAI USA — the same people who make Kershaw knives, as well as the Shun kitchen cutlery endorsed by the Food Network’s Alton Brown — markets the ZT0200 primarily to professionals in the military and law enforcement fields. You know, the sort of folks for whom a rugged, all-environment knife comes in mighty handy. I grew up as a Department of Defense dependent, and my daughter is a criminal justice major, so I feel qualified to carry one myself.

The ZT0200’s 3.75-inch recurve blade is struck from tungsten/carbon-coated 154CM, an industrial-grade, American-made stainless steel that lends itself to exceptional blade stock. It’s extremely durable and corrosion-resistant, and can withstand a good deal of abuse. The blade can be deployed easily with either hand, using either the finger trigger or one of the dual thumb studs. The liner-lock mechanism opens smoothly and locks the blade so solidly that it feels like a fixed blade — which can’t often be said about a liner-lock folder.

The ZT0200’s handle is 3D-molded G10, a fiberglass laminate bound by epoxy resin, frequently used in electronics manufacturing due to its moisture resistance and lack of electrical conductivity. I could hack my way through the Amazon rain forest without ever losing my grip on the textured scales. (Not that there’s an Amazon rain forest in my foreseeable future. But one never knows.) That texture makes it a bit of a challenge to get the knife in and out of a hip pocket, so I usually only carry this one when I’m wearing a well-broken-in pair of jeans.

As an added cool factor — not that this knife needs help in that department — KAI USA makes a donation to the Paralyzed Veterans of America for every Zero Tolerance knife they sell.

My ZT0200 will be the only hand tool I’ll need should Gilligan, the Skipper, and I ever take a three-year detour out of Waikiki.

Or if Jack Bauer invites me to tag along when he’s having another of his really bad days.

Not unique

October 29, 2009

I would have written about this before now, except that I didn’t know about it until today, when a member of an online forum that I frequent brought it to my attention.

A couple of weeks ago, I surrendered a distinction that I’ve held all by my lonesome for the past 21 years.

Since June 1988 — actually since March of that year, but the feat wasn’t official until June, when the programs aired — I have been the only African-American five-game champion in the history of Jeopardy! (If you’re arriving late to the party, you can read about my career as a game show trivia wizard by following the link. And yes, you nitpicker, technically I’m “biracial” — but if it’s good enough for the President of these United States, it’s absolutely good enough for me.)

As of two weeks ago Friday, a gentleman from Plano, Texas named Terry Linwood muscled his way into my formerly one-man fraternity.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m as thrilled as all get-out for Terry, who’s a fantastic Jeopardy! player. (I saw a couple of Terry’s games, but not his game five — which he won — or his game six — which he lost — and thus I wasn’t aware of his accomplishment.)

Still, I’m sure you’ll excuse me for feeling just a tiny bit less… remarkable today.

Had you asked me 21 years ago whether I thought my dubious accomplishment would stand the test of more than two decades’ time, I’d have imagined you daft. I mean, who’d have thought Jeopardy! would even be on the air after 26 seasons? And, given the number of contestants who grace the Sony Pictures Studios stage every year, you’d have supposed that a couple of dozen people, maybe, would have smashed in the door to my solitary club by now.

It’s a funny old world, sometimes.

Now I know how Snoopy felt in this classic Peanuts strip:

Peanuts

Congratulations to Terry Linwood on becoming Jeopardy!‘s latest five-time champ. I’ll be pulling for him in next year’s Tournament of Champions.

If he does well, I’ll even teach him the secret handshake.

The Phoebe ring

October 7, 2009

Fascinated as I am by all things astronomical, today’s news of the discovery of a new ring of Saturn piqued my interest.

I know what you’re thinking: Saturn’s got a bunch of rings already. What’s the big deal?

The big deal is that the Phoebe ring, as the newly identified phenomenon is being called, is not another of the familiar rings that encircle the equator of the sixth planet from the sun like a series of enormous belts. For one thing, the Phoebe ring is beyond huge — its inner edge begins at about 128 times the radius of Saturn. The ring itself is about 20 times as thick as Saturn’s diameter. So it’s less like a belt than like a cosmic inner tube, with an antlike Saturn at its hub.

To put it another way, more than one billion Earths could fit inside the Phoebe ring.

Is that big enough for you?

Astronomers have been searching for something in the vicinity of the Phoebe ring since the 1970s, when Cornell University’s Joseph A. Burns first suggested the object as an explanation for the unusual properties of Saturn’s moon Iapetus. It’s taken this long to find the mystery ring because, although the Phoebe ring is ginormous, it’s nearly invisible. Scientists used NASA’s Spitzer Space Telescope — a orbiting satellite that “sees” in infrared (and apparently, no relation) — to pinpoint what Dr. Burns first postulated three decades ago.

The fun part of the news for me was hearing Andrew Fraknoi on the radio tonight, chatting with the anchors on KCBS about the discovery. Andy is the head astronomy professor at Foothill College, and for many years was the chairman of the Astronomical Society of the Pacific. Whenever there’s an astronomy event in the news, Andy’s usually the guy to whom the Bay Area media reaches out for an explanation. About 25 years ago, I took Andy’s introductory astronomy class at San Francisco State, to fulfill a natural science requirement. I don’t recall the grade I received, but I remember that it was an interesting course.

I’m still waiting, though, to learn why such a significant scientific discovery was named after Lisa Kudrow’s character on Friends.

Searching for Carmen Sandiego closer to home

September 24, 2009

…but not in San Diego, because I’ve been there several times. Not that I wouldn’t like to go back, but that’s not the point of this post.

In yesterday’s post, I listed several — thirteen, in all — locations around the world that I missed seeing when I was an Air Force brat in the 1960s and ’70s, but would like to visit someday if I had unlimited resources.

The fact is, though, that there are plenty of places right here in the United States that I wouldn’t mind checking out, but have never had the opportunity. Without further ado, here’s the domestic list.

Ashland, Oregon. I’ve actually driven through Ashland — at least, I’ve skirted it on the Interstate — so technically, it doesn’t belong on a list of “places I’ve never been.” But I’d love to spend a week or two at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, which takes place there.

Seattle, Washington. Three reasons: (1) to see the Space Needle, a triumph of Googie architecture; (2) to visit the Pike Place Market, to watch the fishmongers toss their wares about (and perhaps dine on a few — wares, not fishmongers); and (3) to drink lots and lots of coffee.

Santa Fe, New Mexico. A noted artistic community, which means I’d fit right in. In contrast to its creative reputation, it’s one of the few U.S. cities of any size with a consistent, governmentally imposed architectural style.

Mount Rushmore, South Dakota. I hear from people who’ve been there that it isn’t quite as awesome in person as it seems like it would be from photographs, but I prefer to decide that sort of thing for myself.

New Orleans, Louisiana. Great music, great food. I’ll just plan to go when they’re not expecting a flood.

Orlando, Florida. It seems weird that a Disney geek such as myself has never made a pilgrimage to Walt Disney World, but such is life. I’d like to rectify that shortcoming. Not that there’s anything wrong with the original Disneyland — because there isn’t. I’d still want to check out the Big Kahuna.

Key West, Florida. As a writer, I have to drop in here at least once, don’t I? And, as a kid who spent several years in Hawaii, I’m down with the whole tropical vibe. Remind me to skip hurricane season.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Not because it’s the Cradle of Liberty, and not for the plethora of historic sites, as interesting as those would be to tour. No, I just want to do my own onsite comparison of cheesesteak joints.

New York City, New York. Another location that doesn’t entirely qualify as a “never been there,” because I’ve flown into and out of both Kennedy and LaGuardia airports. Those airports, however, constitute the sum total of my NYC experience. I’ve gotta figure there’s more of the Naked City to see than just tarmac.

Westbrook, Maine. At first blush, an incongruous choice. My best friend from high school and her family — including her youngest child, my goddaughter, whom I’ve never seen in person — live there. More than reason enough for me.

Separate from any individual destination, I’d love to spend a summer traveling from one Major League Baseball park to another, until I’d seen a series in every park that I’ve never visited — which would include every park other than our local venues (AT&T Park and the Oakland Coliseum) and the two Greater L.A. sites (Dodger Stadium and Angel Stadium).

In search of Carmen Sandiego

September 23, 2009

As a youngster, I was fortunate enough to travel to — and live in — several exotic locations, thanks to the U.S. Air Force — of which I was a dependent for the first 15 years of my life.

Ironically, as an adult, I haven’t again left my home country. I haven’t even ventured out of my adopted home state of California for more than a week or two at a time. I satisfy most of my residual wanderlust by watching the Travel Channel.

Not that I have all that much burning desire to return to my globetrotting childhood, but if I ever luck into a multimillion-dollar disposable income (or, alternatively, an overwhelming abundance of frequent flier miles to burn), here are some of the places to which I’d journey.

London, United Kingdom. The heart of English-speaking culture, with a history stretching back to the Roman Empire. I’d be willing to tolerate the dreadful food — or just eat plenty of fish and chips — just to wander the streets singing “London by Night” and “A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square.”

Barcelona, Spain. One of my interests is unusual architecture — I should post about my Googie fetish sometime — of which Barcelona is a world capital, thanks to the work of Art Nouveau pioneer Antoni Gaudi.

Cairo, Egypt. A wealth of uniquely Islamic architecture. It’s also just a quick trip to Giza, home of the greatest architectural wonders of the ancient world, the Pyramids and the Sphinx.

Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Let’s see… the world’s tallest structure (Burj Dubai), the world’s tallest hotel (Rose Tower), the world’s tallest hotel shaped like a ship’s sail and built on an artificial island (Burj Al Arab), the world’s largest shopping mall (the prosaically named Dubai Mall), and one of the most unusual developments ever conceived (the Palm Jumeirah)? Yeah, I’m there.

Nairobi, Kenya. Where else in the world can you walk through a wild animal habitat immediately adjacent to a major city? I’ll take an empty suitcase just for bringing home coffee.

Hong Kong, China. Blending the best of Eastern and Western culture. Plus, they have their own Disneyland. How cool is that? While I’m in that part of the world, I might as well check out the Great Wall too.

Agra, India. A hub of historically beautiful buildings from the Mughal era, of which the Taj Mahal, the Agra Fort, and Fatehpur Sikri are the best known.

Sydney, Australia. They’ll slip a shrimp on the barbie for me. And there’s also that Opera House.

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Doesn’t everyone have to experience Carnival once in a lifetime? Watch yourself, though — Rio might be one of the most dangerous metropoli in the world.

Rapa Nui (Easter Island). I’ve been fascinated by the moai — the 887 massive stone statues that dot the island — since I was a kid.

Machu Picchu, Peru. The fabled Lost City of the Incas, Machu Picchu offers an excellent opportunity to gain insight into what the New World was like before the Europeans invaded.

The Panama Canal. One of the most monumental feats of engineering in human history, it’s hard to fathom (no pun intended) that the Canal is nearly 100 years old (it opened in 1914).

Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico. Cancun, Cozumel, and the ruins at Chichen Itza. Need I say more?

Tomorrow, I’ll list a few places right here in the good old U.S. of A. that I’ve never visited, but would like to someday.

Talk Like a Pirate Day, it be!

September 19, 2009

Avast there, me bucko! Wandered into shark-infested waters here, ye have…

That’s because today, it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day be September 19!

Fer those of ye who ain’t up to snuff on yer piratin’ lore, International Talk Like a Pirate Day was plotted out many hurricane seasons ago by a coupl’a salty bilge-rats callin’ themselves Cap’n Slappy and Ol’ Chumbucket. (Their real names be Mark Summers an’ John Baur… but let’s be leavin’ that information in the ol’ treasure chest.) It be a special time to get in touch with yer inner buccaneer, and let the scurvy swashbuckler out!

Yer ol’ pal Cap’n Swan ain’t much fer holidays, but he’s got ‘im a soft place in his furbelows for Talk Like a Pirate Day. So if ye be droppin’ by Casa de Swan today, ye best prepared to get yer pirate on… or ye’ll be walkin’ the plank at the point o’ me cutlass!

All together now, ye lice-infested swabbies and lusty wenches…

AAAARRRRRRRRR!

Feels pretty good, don’t it?

Last year, when Talk Like a Pirate Day fell on Comic Art Friday, Cap’n Swan ran a special feature up the yardarm, considerin’ which o’ his favorite superheroes and superheroines might enjoy theirselves most on this auspicious occasion. Some mighty fine pictures in this one, so ye might be wantin’ to sail yerself over to the SSTOL archives an’ reminisce.

Now, off with ye! Cap’n Swan’s got himself some timbers to shiver. If ye don’t want to run afoul of the Shadowy Legend of the Seven Seas — as Cap’n Swan be known far and wide in the piratin’ community — ye had best be slingin’ the lingo like a privateer from the Caribee all day today!

Don’t say ye ain’t been warned, me hearties. Dead men tell no tales!

(By the way, Ol’ Chumbucket be a Jeopardy! veteran, just like Cap’n Swan here. Let it be known, though, that Cap’n Swan actually pirated a mess o’ doubloons from the S.S. Trebekathon, while Ol’ Chumbucket had to content his scalawaggedness with a steamer trunk full o’ lovely partin’ gifts. )

Sick thoughts

September 3, 2009

If you were on Facebook today, you probably had at least a few friends — and I’m using that word in the broad, accommodative way that Facebook does — who posted the following item on their home pages:

No one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

I didn’t throw this up on my Facebook wall — mostly because, as you already know if you know me, I’m just not much of a follower.

I, however, do agree with the sentiment.

In fact, I’ll go a step further: If you don’t agree with both halves of that first sentence, there’s something seriously kapakahi with your thinking muscle.

We might debate how to accomplish these goals. We might differ on whose responsibility, and whose program, and whose nickel, and all that sort of folderol. But if you think either of these concepts is simply wrong, I don’t have any problem in telling you that there’s something wrong with you.

Because your Uncle Swan is just blunt like that.

Oh, and before you decide to pick an argument with me over this, you should know a couple of things.

One: My wife is permanently disabled with incurable, metastatic breast cancer.

Two: I worked in the healthcare industry for a dozen years, and in the seven years since, I’ve maintained several clients in that field for whom I work on a regular basis.

I know all of the arguments. From all sides. Up close. Personal.

Here’s the good news, though.

Even if you’re wrong…

…you can still be my friend.

At least on Facebook.