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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 22: Reverse SwanShadow Edition

November 27, 2025

Welcome back, my friends, to the tradition that never ends. Okay, truth to tell, it will inevitably end eventually, because I will inevitably end eventually. But fortunately for all of us, that end does not appear imminent. Then again, this is Las Vegas, where anything can happen and often does.

I decided to label this 22nd iteration of this annual post “Reverse SwanShadow Edition” because when I typed the number 22, it looked remarkably like a mirror image of my familiar cygnus-and-umbra logo. If you play Texas Hold ’em, you might refer to a pair of pocket deuces as “ducks,” which I suppose is close enough. (I have it on good authority that bingo aficionados use the same terminology in reference to the call number I-22.)

Knowing my inherent inability to concentrate on anything for very long, I consider it a monumental achievement that I’ve managed to be regular in this particular habit for 22 years. But the fact is, I am deeply grateful for the life I’ve been blessed to live to this point, and for all of the people, places, and things that continue to make it pleasant and endlessly interesting. This annual exercise, as focused on ephemera as it appears to be, remains my personal love letter to everyone and everything I appreciate. It’s a peculiar way of expressing thanks. But it’s my way.

If you’re new to this experience, the following is an alphabetical list — one item for each letter of said alphabet — of items human, non-human, and inhuman (um…?) for which I am thankful this Thanksgiving, as though that weren’t redundant. As random as the collection appears, it represents in synecdoche (Google it) the sum total of everything that is. At least, everything that doesn’t stand on its own, unlike The Daughter and The Son-In-Law and The Little Dudes and The Sunflower and The Nest and Wanda the Scarlet Witch and all else that is truly special and good.

So, on this Thanksgiving Day 2025 (where does the time go?), your Uncle Swan gives thanks for:

A’ja Wilson, star of my beloved Las Vegas Aces: the four-time M’VP, the three-time D’POY, the two-time FM’VP, and quite possibly the G’OAT. I could not imagine a more appropriate place to begin this Number 22 list than with Number 22 her own self. I’ve been privileged to see many legendary athletes — from Steph Curry to Barry Bonds, from Joe Montana to Jerry Rice, from Willie McCovey to Steve Young to Klay Thompson — play in person for my favorite sports teams over the course of my fandom. I’m not sure that I will ever have seen, by the hopefully long-distant end of her still-escalating career, a more singular team-sport athlete on my home team than A’ja Wilson.

Bettie Page, who just might have been the GOAT of iconic image makers. She may not have garnered the undying adoration accorded Marilyn Monroe — whose appeal I’ve never entirely understood, to be frank (sorry, Frank) — but no one ever gave better face than the Queen of the Pinups.

Cornbread dressing, a seemingly simple side dish that it has taken me decades to perfect. Much scouring of cookbooks and Internet recipe sites, in addition to endless trial and error, has brought me to the point where I can almost say that my cornbread dressing (don’t call it stuffing unless you’re cramming it into an animal carcass) is the equal of the dish that annually graced my mother’s Thanksgiving table. Almost.

Dustbuster, the portable handheld vacuum that I don’t know how I ever survived without until I purchased one this year. Well played, Messrs. Black and Decker.

Eighteen B. (Actually, it’s more commonly written 18b, but we make allowances.) The Las Vegas Arts District is an 18-block (18b… get it? someone was clever) expanse just south of downtown proper where all manner of funky galleries, museums, murals, eateries, breweries, and other locations of interest collide. People who think that Vegas has no culture or soul have never been to this part of the city.

Freakin’ Reviews, the YouTube channel hosted by my fellow Las Vegas Valley denizen James White. Originally, James focused on video reviews of “as seen on TV” products. Now that that category of merchandise has been more or less subsumed into Amazon, Temu, and other online retailers, James showcases, for better or worse (often worse), whatever unusual gadget or household item strikes his fancy. James recently added a second channel, entitled Freakin’ 2, where he samples weird foods and beverages so I don’t have to.

Ground News, a Canadian-based news aggregator with a intriguing purpose: helping its readers navigate the sociopolitical “blind spots” both of news outlets, and of the readers themselves. Ground News serves up news articles from a wide array of sources, noting the particular bias of the source so that the reader knows where that source is “coming from,” so to speak. It also highlights news items that sources on either end of the political spectrum are under-reporting. In an environment where it can be difficult to know which media to trust — or whether you simply trust those who happen to agree with you, regardless of their factual accuracy — Ground News is a tool worth checking out. (This is not a sponsored post.)

Henderson and North Las Vegas, Sin City’s twin siblings here in the Valley. Most visitors tend to view the entirety of southern Nevada as “Las Vegas,” but quite a bit of it isn’t (including the Las Vegas Strip, which lies entirely outside the city limits). In fact, two other sizable incorporated cities lie cheek-by-jowl alongside us: Henderson (Nevada’s second-largest city; yes, bigger than Reno) to the southeast, and North Las Vegas (the fourth-largest) to the north and northwest. Both cities have reputations — Henderson as a boring backwater; NLV as sketchy and crime-ridden — that aren’t entirely deserved, and both actually have much to offer their communities. And yes, residents of both get a little annoyed at being lumped in as merely “outer Vegas.”

Isis, the Egyptian-themed superheroine of long-ago Saturday mornings. In civilian life, she was mild-mannered high school science teacher Andrea Thomas (played with understated cool by Joanna Cameron, who passed away in 2021). But when she donned her mystic amulet and uttered the phrase, “O mighty Isis!”, Andrea was transformed (okay, she just changed clothes, really) into a modern-day interpretation of the ancient goddess. Isis could (as noted in The Secrets of Isis‘s opening narration) “soar as the falcon soars, run with the speed of gazelles, and command the elements of sky and earth” — at least, as much of any of those things as a children’s TV budget and 1970s technology would allow. She could even deliver a thoughtful moral message at the end of each episode.

Juneteenth, the national holiday that celebrates the day when enforcement of the Emancipation Proclamation began in Texas in 1865 (two years after the document was signed; no Internet in those days, so news traveled slowly) and slavery formally (if not culturally) ended in the United States. It’s also my half-birthday, which I’d like to imagine is worth celebrating on at least a minute scale.

Kosher salt, the one ingredient I can’t imagine my kitchen without. Did you know that it’s called “kosher” salt not because it meets kosher dietary standards, but because it was the salt used in kashering, a process of dry-brining meats? My preferred brand is Diamond Crystal, even though they confounded me recently when they redesigned the traditional box.

Leona Lewis, whose “Bleeding Love” is one of my all-time favorite pop tunes. Leona is playing her first-ever Las Vegas residency during this holiday season, and I can hardly wait to see her perform live next month. Leona’s included in my list of 31 “magical voices,” spotlighting the female singers whose pipes I adore.

Myron’s. Speaking of magical voices, Myron’s at the Smith Center is one of my favorite places in Las Vegas to hear them. This year, I saw Sam Harris there — his first tour in several years — and the New York Voices, who are currently winding down their nearly 40-year performing career. Myron’s cabaret-style venue makes a fine, intimate space in which to enjoy talented musical artists and their craft.

I’ve only just begun working on my NOKbox, an organizing tool designed to assist one’s next of kin (“NOK”) in event of one’s disability or demise. (That’s a polite way of saying, “It’s for when you croak.”) The NOKbox helps you put together all of the information and documentation that your loved ones will need in order to resolve your estate. With luck and a fair wind, my sunset is hopefully yet a long distance away. But it’s comforting to have a handy tool that will make things somewhat easier for The Daughter when the inevitable arrives. (Boy howdy, there’s a boatload of stuff to pull together, though. I’d better step it up.)

The Osmo Pocket 3 is one of the handiest devices ever made for recording video on the go. It’s a small handheld camera (it also mounts to a stand or tripod) with a built-in gimbal, plus numerous other features that lend themselves to quick and relatively easy shooting. I’m still figuring out how best to put it to work on the creative ideas that percolate in my brain, but I’m confident that the device will be up to the task even if the operator is not.

The Plaza Hotel and Casino is one of the downtown hotspots that I can see from my front window. What I love most about the Plaza is not the hotel-casino itself, but rather the free fireworks displays they host on major holidays (including Formula 1 weekend, which I suppose is now a public holiday here in Vegas), as well as every Friday night during the summer season. It’s like having a front-row seat to the Fourth of July every weekend from Memorial Day onward, as well as on the actual Fourth of July.

Quail eggs are delicious. I feel a little bit sorry for the quail. But only a little bit.

Rush, one of my favorite rock bands of all time, are reuniting next year for their first tour since legendary drummer Neil Peart passed in 2020. I know that some fans are up in arms at the audacity of Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson carrying on without The Professor, who in addition to his nonpareil percussion skills also wrote the band’s lyrics. But I for one am thrilled to have another opportunity to see Geddy and Alex perform live — I never got to experience Rush in concert while Neil was still with us — as well as thrilled for them to enjoy playing their music together again. I’m excited too to see how Anika Nilles, a phenomenal talent whom I’ve followed for years on YouTube, fits in behind the drum kit. And yes, I already have my ticket for one of the gigs in LA.

South Point is the place I point to (pun intended) when people tell me that “Vegas is dead,” because this locals-friendly joint is always packed. One of the few hotel-casinos left in the market that’s still privately owned by a single individual (longtime industry executive Michael Gaughan), South Point makes it work with customer-focused service, an array of reasonably priced dining options (including the best value buffet remaining in Vegas), and entertainment options that appeal to their target demographic. South Point also hosts numerous events including bowling tournaments (their bowling center is massive) and rodeo competitions (they have an arena specially built for horse-related activities). I tend to avoid the place when the cowboys are in town, but you do you.

Calling a business Terrible’s seems like a poor marketing strategy, but that is in fact the name of the outfit that holds the franchise on Chevron gas stations in these parts. Apparently, the company’s founder, nicknamed “the P.T. Barnum of gasoline” for his outrageous promotional schemes, decided to lean into the fact that his competitors found his business approach “terrible,” and ran with it. For the record, the gasoline does not seem terrible.

“Unchained” is one of my favorite Van Halen tracks. Go listen. That’s all I need to say.

Vitamix held a 40%-off sale on Amazon earlier this year, so I finally broke down and purchased one of their world-class but usually insanely expensive blending machines. And I love it. It’s added smoothies to my daily routine, so I can truthfully say that I’m doing something health-forward. (You can’t taste the spinach. You really can’t.) I also enjoy making the occasional soup in it. Who knew that you could make hot soup from cold ingredients in a blender? The wonders of modern technology.

Winnie and Ethel’s has fast become one of my favorite local dining spots. (And by “local,” I mean “five minutes from my house.”) Originally just a breakfast/brunch option — their malted pancakes are incredible, and don’t sleep on the grits, either — they now open a few evenings each week for equally excellent dinner. It’s the kind of place where the staff greets you like an old friend when you walk in the door, and serves you coffee in a mug from the most random collection of drinkware ever assembled outside of a Goodwill store. Get off the Strip and go there for a meal. You will not regret it.

Xanadu was: (1) the summer palace of Kublai Khan; (2) a classic poem by Samuel Taylor Coleridge; (3) the title character’s mansion in the film Citizen Kane, based on the real-life Hearst Castle; (4) a dreadful slice of cinematic cheese served up in 1980 by director Robert Greenwald, and starring Olivia Newton-John; and (5) the title song from said film, which will now be stuck in your head for the rest of your Thanksgiving Day. You’re welcome.

Yermo, the weird little California desert town on Interstate 15 just a few miles east of Barstow that every SoCal traveler passes through on the drive to Las Vegas. Yermo is noteworthy for such touristy stops as Eddie World, allegedly California’s largest gas station (you’ll recognize it by the ginormous milkshake out front); the Liberty Sculpture Park, an assortment of found-materials artworks visible from the freeway; Peggy Sue’s ’50s Diner, what a Denny’s might be like if American Graffiti vomited inside it; and the Marine Corps Logistics Base, a massive storage facility for earth-tone military vehicles. The fast-food chain Del Taco also originated in Yermo, although there isn’t a Del Taco there now. Or much of anything else, except as noted above.

Zucchini, because your neighbor planted some and now has a ton to give away, including to you. There’s always zucchini bread.

As is ever the case, I am grateful for you, friend reader. If you’ve continued to drop in here every November for this feast of word salad, you have earned my respect, admiration, and even love. I hope that you and those you cherish will enjoy a wonderful and thoughtful Thanksgiving, and that all of us will still be around to celebrate another at this time next year.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Cinemania, Dead People Got No Reason to Live, Food Glorious Food, Hero of the Day, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Sexiest People Alive, Soundtrack of My Life, Sports Bar, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits, Vegas, Baby
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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 21: Winning Blackjack Hand Edition

November 28, 2024

Twenty-one — an ace plus a face card or 10 — means a win in blackjack (or at worst, a tie or “push”). In Texas hold-’em poker, the same hand might have great potential (especially if the face card is a king or queen) that could go undeveloped if the board fills up with middle-value cards.

Is our 21st annual edition of the Thanksgiving Day blog post an immediate winner, or merely awash with unfulfilled potential? That, friend reader, will be for you to decide.

As always, I have so much more to be grateful for than a simple list can encompass. Thus, our customary exercise: I’ve chosen 26 seemingly random items — one for each letter of the alphabet — to stand in for everything and everyone in my life that I love, admire, treasure, and appreciate. I began my Thanksgiving Day chatting via FaceTime with The Daughter and the two Little Dudes (The Son-In-Law peeked in briefly for a hello and a “Happy Thanksgiving” as well), an interaction that reminded me again how fortunate I am to have loved ones and to be loved. There’s much more love in the enumeration below, if you know where to look.

And with that, let’s do the do.

On this Thanksgiving Day 2024, I’m thankful for…

Agatha All Along. Marvel Studios has taken a fair bit of heat for some of their latter-period offerings, but for my money (and as a Disney stockholder, it kind of is my money, to some infinitesimal degree), the MCU smashed it out of the park with the most recent made-for-streaming-TV event. Agatha All Along, the followup series to the acclaimed WandaVision from a few years back, gave us everything we expect from Marvel — engaging characters, exciting action, a compelling and twisty storyline, and a sense of both drama and fun that hearkened back to the Marvel Comics of old. Kathryn Hahn made the most of her star turn as the ageless witch on a quest to regain her lost mojo. Her supporting coven, led by Sasheer Zamata, Joe Locke, Patti LuPone, and the ubiquitous Aubrey Plaza (who seems to be in everything these days), each brought their own flavor of awesomeness. Personally, I’ve been happy with most of the MCU Disney+ product — I even enjoyed the widely derided She-Hulk: Attorney at Law — but Agatha All Along served notice that Kevin Feige and Company still can pull magic out of their pointy hat.

Bluesky. Like many of you, I pretty much gave up on Twitter as it entered its Age of Elon a couple of years ago. While the jury is still out, Bluesky seems at least for the moment a viable alternative to what the Twittersphere once provided. I’m SwanShadow there as here, so feel welcome to follow if you’re inclined. Also, here’s a tip: You can obtain a download from the former Twitter of all your content posted there. I pulled one in advance of abandoning my account altogether, so that I can repurpose some of my classic tweets for future use on Bluesky.

Concierges. There are both pluses and minuses to living in a vast concrete jungle. One of the true upsides in my highrise life is the concierge staff who man/woman/person the front desk in my building. I never have to worry about a package being porch-pirated or a DoorDash delivery going misdirected. And more often than not, I get a smile and friendly greeting when I walk past on my way to the mailroom or the Amazon Hub.

Dominant eye. One might suppose that when one has inhabited a body for as many decades as I’ve inhabited mine, one would know all there is to know about this mortal frame. But in fact, I only recently learned something fascinating about my physical self: I am one of the roughly 18-20% of humans who are cross-eye dominant. That means that while I am naturally right-handed, my brain favors my left eye. It’s especially a challenge for things like target sports — think shooting or archery, even darts — but also partially explains my lifelong lack of hand-eye coordination. Now that I know that my cross-eye dominance exists, I can learn to compensate for it. (You can test your own eye dominance thusly: Extend your arms in front of you. Make a triangular space by partially crossing your hands; your thumbs will form the base of the triangle. Center the triangle on some fixed object across the room. Now, keeping both eyes open and focused on the object, draw your hands slowly toward you until your hands touch your face, and the triangle lands over one of your eyes. That eye is your dominant eye.)

Eggnog. People who know me in the real world know that I’m not a huge fan of the holiday season in general. One feature of this time of year that I do enjoy is eggnog, which can be difficult to find outside of the fall-to-winter window. The Kroger store brand is surprisingly decent.

Fans. When one lives in a high-desert location that can reach peak temperatures of 120 (as Las Vegas did one day this past summer), anything that provides cooling air circulation is a godsend. The three powerful tower fans around the Nest — one in my office, one in the living room, one in the master suite — help keep the HVAC system from working too hard during the long hot Mojave summer.

Graduation. The Daughter collected her hard-earned master’s degree in library and information sciences at a ceremony this past June. She deserves abundant plaudits for completing her coursework while holding down a full-time job and — not insignificantly — giving birth to and caring for two children. Fortunately, she inherited her late mother’s determination. I could not be more proud.

The House, a.k.a. Michelob Ultra Arena, home to my beloved Las Vegas Aces. A championship three-peat escaped our grasp during a challenging season, but I thoroughly enjoyed every home game… even the ones the Aces didn’t win. The House draws great crowds (every game this season was a sellout, and season tickets are already sold out for next season as well), and the Aces’ enthusiastic fan base always shows up and shows out. (Some show out a little more than others.)

“I Can’t Drive 55.” I have been a major Sammy Hagar fan since he was the lead vocalist in Montrose in the early 1970s. In the ’80s, seeing Sammy perform live became an annual ritual; I caught the Standing Hampton, Three Lock Box, and VOA tours in consecutive years. This summer, I got to see Sammy alongside his former Van Halen bandmate Michael Anthony, guitar wizard Joe Satriani, and drummer Jason Bonham, playing a mix of tunes from across his career. The guy still can sing up a storm (unlike certain other former VH frontmen who shall remain unnamed here), and he brings plenty of fire to the stage even now in his mid-70s. Sammy might not be able to drive 55, but he is outliving it in style.

Josh Johnson. In case you’re unfamiliar with Josh, he’s a standup comedian who’s also a correspondent on The Daily Show. His standup is nothing short of brilliant, especially considering that — unlike most working comics — he performs a set of brand-new material almost every night, often drawing inspiration from current events. He’s topical and socially aware without being overtly political (usually); adult in orientation without working blue (usually); and his onstage persona is engaging and charismatic without any of the grotesque bravado that characterizes a lot of today’s standup. Check out his YouTube channel — he posts clips from recent performances frequently — and catch him live if he comes to your town. I will challenge you not to laugh.

Kamala Harris. She made the best of a tough campaigning circumstance, and carried herself with dignity and grace to the very end. Thank you, Madame Vice President.

Las Vegas Boulevard. Not just that roughly four-mile portion known to the world as The Strip, but all of its nearly 50-mile length. Drive along the Boulevard for a while, and you’re bound to see something you’ve never seen before, and most likely would not see anywhere else.

Mucha. My love for comic art is well known to those who have frequented this space in earlier years, but I also have a deep appreciation for many other kinds of graphic art. One of my all-time favorite artists is the Czech-born illustrator and painter Alphonse Mucha (1860-1939), famed for his creations in the Art Nouveau style. Mucha is one of the most renowned artists whose most familiar work was done in the field of advertising. He created hundreds of theatrical posters, product advertisements, and print illustrations in an ornate style that was compelling, immediately recognizable, and often imitated. Mucha’s art never fails to bring a smile to my face and peace to my heart.

Neewer. I’ve been working for some time on a video project (more about this, soon). Neewer makes a wide assortment of photographic accessories, from lighting to tripods, several pieces of which I now own. I find their products to be of good quality, easy to use, and competitively priced. This is not a sponsored ad — I just like their stuff.

Olympics. This year’s Paris Games provided some of the finest spectacle in sport. From the triumphant return to competition of All-Everything gymnast Simone Biles to the home-crowd-pleasing successes of French swimmer Leon Marchand; from the continued US domination of men’s and women’s 5×5 basketball to the even more dominant performances in the diving pool by Team China; from the constant thrills of insanely close races on the athletics track to… whatever that breakdancing thing was; the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad had it all.

Pizza Rock, serving the best pizza in Las Vegas in this pizza connoisseur’s estimation. To be fair, I haven’t tried every single pizza available in the Valley. But I’d be hard-pressed to find any that outclasses the offerings from Tony Gemignani’s downtown hotspot.

Quokkas. Because the world needs all the furry cuteness we can get right now.

Richard Osman’s House of Games. I adore British quiz shows in general, but I hold a special fondness for this quirky series presented by the former Pointless creator and co-host (and now, bestselling mystery novelist) Richard Osman. Each week, four “famous faces” (translated: “celebrities” familiar to much of the British TV-viewing public, but completely unknown to most Americans) play five days’ worth of quizzes, ranging from simple word games (“Rhyme Time”) to find-it-on-a-map geography (“Where Is Kazakhstan?”) to merging clues with pictures (“Answer Smash,” which concludes each day’s proceedings). The “celebrity” who wins each day’s contest gets to select from a motley assortment of tacky prizes, all of which bear Osman’s silhouette; the player amassing the most points over the course of the week takes home a cheesy trophy cup that most bowling alleys would be embarrassed to give away. It’s all in good fun, and plays much better than I’ve just made it sound.

Sunflowers. They are magnificent and magical, regal and radiant. They stand out in any arrangement. Artists and artisans throughout history have drawn inspiration from them. Their beauty is undeniable, and beyond compare. Who doesn’t love sunflowers?

Trots and Bonnie. I’ve been revisiting at times throughout this year the wonderfully creative cartooning of Shari Flenniken, whose strip appeared originally in the legendary humor magazine National Lampoon from 1972 until 1990. Trots and Bonnie features the everyday exploits of two junior-high school teens — bright-but-naive Bonnie and her more precocious friend Pepsi — and Bonnie’s sharp-witted talking dog Trots. As was typical of the Lampoon‘s fare, Trots and Bonnie skews quite adult at times, but Flenniken’s charming artwork and thoughtful, realistic sensibility set the strip at a higher level.

Unsung Titles, the theme of my ninth One-Day Special quiz for the Internet’s premier daily trivia competition, LearnedLeague. I’ve enjoyed presenting each of the 1DS quizzes I’ve written over the years, but I was particularly fond of this one, which focused on popular songs whose titles never appear in their lyrics. It was a fun set to create, and people seemed to enjoy playing it. Here’s a sample question (I’ll put the answer at the end of this post):

You might think this song is called:
“We Come From the Land of the Ice and Snow” (1970, #16 US Hot 100)
It’s easy to see why this song became Thor’s walk-on music in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, what with all that Norse mythology “hammer of the gods” and “Valhalla” stuff in the lyrics.
But you know what’s not in the lyrics? Passports. Or visas. Or the actual title of this song.

Video editing, a new skill I’m struggling to acquire. As mentioned above, I’m working on a video project. The thing is, despite many years of experience editing audio files — and I consider myself a pretty solid audio editor — I haven’t worked with video since college, back in the Dark Ages. Some necessary skills translate from the audio world; others are brand new to me. You know that old saying about old dogs and new tricks? Well, I’m an old dog.

Wakizashi and katana. Most mornings, the first thing I see when I open my eyes is my daisho, a matching pair of Japanese swords of the style originally carried by samurai. I am not a samurai, or trained in the art of swordplay. For me, these beautiful swords are strictly display pieces. But I like to think that a master martial artist could make great use of them, should the occasion arise. And speaking of swords…

… there’s the xiphoid (“sword-shaped”) process. It’s that tiny piece of your skeleton at the end of your sternum, to which your diaphragm and your rectus abdominis muscles — colloquially known as your abs — are connected. What’s interesting to me about the xiphoid process is that it isn’t fully developed until around age 40. Think of the fontanelles (or soft spots) in a baby’s skull, which harden into bone during the first 18 months or so after birth. The xiphoid process is like that, only it takes until middle age to harden. Weird.

Y&T, one of the great underappreciated bands in the history of rock. Frank Meniketti, Y&T’s co-founder, lead vocalist, and lead guitarist, should be a household name given his prodigious talents. But for whatever reason, his band never quite vaulted over the hump into superstardom. Despite years of touring and recording excellent, tunefully catchy hard rock music, Y&T just never found that one killer song or released that one killer album that might have made their career. The band’s name — a truncation of their original moniker, Yesterday and Today — probably didn’t help. And yet, they’re one of the acts whose CDs I frequently pop into my car player on long road trips. I always find myself wondering… why weren’t these guys a much bigger deal?

Zarfs. You know that little cardboard sleeve around your cup when you order a hot beverage at your local Starbucks? It’s a zarf. And when you don’t get one, you wish you did.

As I am every year — and increasingly as the years roll past — I am sincerely thankful for you, friend reader, especially those of you who’ve kept coming back for this annual experience for the past 21 Thanksgivings. If you’re here for the first time, I’m grateful for your presence too. I hope you realize how much you have to be thankful for, and that you’ll exercise some of that gratitude in the way you live your life and interact with the people around you. I hope we’re all here next year to be thankful again, and still.

*Answer: “Immigrant Song” (Led Zeppelin)

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Cinemania, Comic Art Friday, Disney, Food Glorious Food, Good Reads, Hero of the Day, LearnedLeague, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, Soundtrack of My Life, Sports Bar, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, The Swan Tunes In, Trivial Pursuits, Vegas, Baby
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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 20: Double Decades Edition

November 24, 2023

Be honest now, who thought I’d still be doing this 20 years later?

Seriously, who even thought I’d still be doing anything 20 years later?

Never bet against your Uncle Swan, o ye of little feathers. (But not Sacheen Littlefeather. That’s a can of worms I don’t want to open, especially on Thanksgiving.)

Last year’s Thanksgiving Day post leaned heavily on Las Vegas: the reasons that brought me to reside in the Entertainment Capital of the World, and the things I was only then beginning to appreciate about my new neon hometown (to borrow a phrase from YouTuber Las Vegas Gal). There will be a lot of Vegas in this year’s list also, as I’ve come to love even more people, places, and things in this one-of-a-kind desert metropolis. But there’s still much that I’m grateful for in the greater, wider world, so there’s a bit more of that sort of reflection this time around.

Just a brief introduction to what this is all about, for the benefit of any newcomers who’ve found their way here for the first time. Every Thanksgiving for the past two decades, I’ve posted in this space a list of 26 items — one for each letter of the alphabet — for which I am particularly grateful. These 26 items are not intended to be comprehensive. Instead, most of them represent, by way of synecdoche (I’m sure there’s an app where you could look that up), many other people and things that I hold precious, even dear. It’s just a mechanism for compelling myself once a year to think deeply about all that truly moves me to gratitude.

Some mean too much to attempt to find place for them in this little exercise. The Daughter, whom I love with the ferocity of a thousand suns and would sacrifice anything for, tops that list, along with The Son-In-Law and the two Little Dudes, the second of whom arrived since the writing of the previous post. Others find their place in the subtext within the list, or simply transcend it. They know who they are, and what lofty status they hold.

And with that said, let’s forge ahead. (Have I really done 20 of these? Wow.)

On Thanksgiving Day 2023, I’m thankful for…

Ahsoka Tano. I’m not a huge Star Wars guy. I’ve made no secret these past 46 years that I never completely understood all of the fuss about what we now call Episode IV: A New Hope (what I’ve called from the jump, a super-cute Carrie Fisher plus a bunch of derivative space opera and oblique Jack Kirby references). But I have very much enjoyed several of the latter-day spinoffs, especially The Mandalorian and its brand-new companion series, Ahsoka, starring the sublime Rosario Dawson in the title role. There’s a statue of Ahsoka Tano in my living room. Not everyone gets that kind of recognition.

Buckaroo Banzai. I was honored this year to write a One-Day Special quiz for the online trivia site LearnedLeague about The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension — a film that, unlike the aforementioned Episode IV, I have loved since the day I first beheld it, goggle-eyed, in a local movie theater. If you don’t grok the unique sensibility of Buckaroo Banzai, I can’t explain it to you. I also can’t explain why there’s a watermelon in the lab.

Cats In Space. People who know me IRL have heard me opine more than once that good music stopped being made by 1989. Of course, this comment is intended to be facetious. There’s plenty of excellent music being created even today, by artists whose careers began long after the ’80s ended. Case in point: the delightful British rock band Cats In Space. When you listen to a Cats album — and you should — you can detect their influences: Queen, Styx, Boston, a little ELO here, a little Supertramp there. However, you won’t hear anything that sounds exactly like any of those bands, or anything that sounds like a tribute, nostalgia, or novelty act. Cats In Space are legitimate unto themselves, keeping alive the classic arena-rock flavor but adding their own modern interpretation (and considerable musical chops) to it. Try their most recent album, Kickstart the Sun, or Diamonds, a 2021 selection of their best catalog numbers re-recorded with their current lead vocalist, Damien Edwards. If you enjoy any or all of the bands I mentioned earlier, I strongly suspect you’ll dig Cats In Space.

Dita Von Teese. The undisputed Queen of Neo-Burlesque, Ms. Von Teese (her birth handle is Heather Sweet, which seems like a perfectly appropriate name to me, but what do I know?) has been almost single-handedly reinventing the art of cabaret for the past 30 years. She earns huge props from me for helping to keep alive (along with graphic artists such as Olivia De Berardinis, Jim Silke, and the late Dave Stevens) the legacy of 1950s pinup legend Bettie Page. Ms. Von Teese recently premiered a new show in the Jubilee Theater at Horseshoe Las Vegas (formerly Bally’s), utilizing some of the famous costumes from Jubilee!, the last of the old-school Las Vegas revues. The show has drawn rave reviews, and I’m looking forward to seeing it next month.

Esther’s Kitchen. If your entire perspective of Las Vegas is strictly bounded by The Strip and Fremont Street, you’re missing a ton of the sweet spots Neon City has to offer. One such spot is the Arts District, an 18-block swatch of Downtown Las Vegas that’s home to numerous restaurants, quaint shops, and entertainment venues. Among the excellent eateries to be found in the Arts District is the newly expanded Esther’s Kitchen. It’s nominally an Italian restaurant, but it’s nothing like any Italian restaurant you’ve ever tried. The menu is seasonal and constantly changing, but you’re sure to find something you’ll love.

Fontainebleau Las Vegas. Since it was topped out back in 2008, the Fontainebleau has been the tallest building not only in Las Vegas, but in the entire state of Nevada. Also since 2008, the Fontainebleau has been a ginormous, empty blue husk at the north end of The Strip. A victim of the Great Recession (and probably some mismanagement along the way), the Fontainebleau, while mostly completed, never opened. In the years since, the property has changed hands several times (and names at least twice), while locals wondered if the monstrosity might just get imploded someday. But in fact, the Fontainebleau was reacquired by its original developer in 2021 and has undergone a flurry of construction and redesign since then. It’s now scheduled to open — at long last — on December 13. People who’ve seen the inside say it’s magnificent. I’m eager to see for myself.

Glittering Lights. Every holiday season, the Las Vegas Motor Speedway (not to be confused with the recent Formula 1 contest, the Las Vegas Grand Prix… don’t get me started) transforms its racetrack into a drive-through electric spectacular called Glittering Lights. It’s a two-and-a-half-mile cruise through more than two million… well… glittering lights, in the form of cheerful holiday images. Put some classic carols on the car radio, and get into the spirit of the season. If someone as notoriously Grinchy as your Uncle Swan enjoys it, you might too.

Huntridge Theater. I’m not old-Vegas enough to recall when the Huntridge Theater on Charleston Boulevard was a happening joint. That said, I was privileged earlier this year to take a fascinating tour of this historic building, which began life in 1944 as a movie palace, then segued into its second act as a performing arts venue in 1992. The roof of the vintage structure — built during wartime with wooden support trusses rather than then-rationed steel — collapsed in 1995. Efforts to save the facility ultimately failed, and the Huntridge shuttered — seemingly forever — in 2004. Then in 2021, a local developer purchased the Huntridge and vowed to restore it within three years. The theater’s iconic Art Deco neon sign was relighted for the first time on April 7, 2023. Soho Playhouse has signed on to operate the theater once the reconstruction is complete, and will book it for live performances.

Injera. Among Las Vegas’s many hidden gems is its Ethiopian corridor, which gained official recognition as a cultural district this year. “Little Ethiopia” is home to around 90 restaurants, shops, and other businesses owned by members of Vegas’s 40,000-strong Ethiopian community. If you love Ethiopian food — and I do — it’s the neighborhood where you can stuff your face with spicy meats and veggies, all transported into your mouth with injera, the spongy, slightly sour flatbread made from teff flour that doubles as both an accompaniment and a utensil.

Juan’s Flaming Fajitas. Las Vegas is also home to some of the finest Mexican cuisine you’ll experience north of the border. Although Tacos El Gordo (four Las Vegas-area taquerias) is my local go-to for quick Mexican bites, when I’m in the mood for a sit-down feast I might head to one of the three locations of Juan’s Flaming Fajitas. When they say “flaming,” that’s not just marketing-speak. They mean actual fire. The fire of deliciousness.

Karen Avenue is a largely nondescript street running east-west from the general area of the Las Vegas Convention Center. It makes my list because the one non-nondescript fact about Karen Avenue is that a section of it — the part between Joe W. Brown Drive and Maryland Parkway — was recently renamed Liberace Avenue, in honor of the late pianist once lauded as The World’s Greatest Showman. At the peak of his lengthy career in the late 1950s and early ’60s, Liberace was the highest-paid entertainer on the planet — a planet that at the time still headlined people like Frank Sinatra, Harry Belafonte, and Elvis Presley. I never saw Liberace perform live, but I remember watching him countless times on television when I was very young. It’s nice that Vegas finally got around (35 years after the man’s death, but who’s counting?) to honoring someone whose name spun box office gold for decades on The Strip.

Leilani’s Attic. My love for all things Hawaiian knows no bounds. I spent my earliest formative years in Hawaii and still regard it as the place where I’m “from,” to the degree that a constantly transient military kid could be “from” any one place. Part of the appeal to me in relocating to Las Vegas was the city’s status as “the Ninth Island,” where many Hawaii residents vacation, and where many former islanders come to find paying jobs and affordable homes. One of the greatest assets of the Ninth Island is Leilani’s Attic, a treasure trove of Hawaiian foods and beverages, as well as clothing and souvenirs. It’s my local resource for saimin (Hawaii’s version of noodle soup) and Hawaiian Sun juice drinks, among other treats.

The Marvels. Don’t believe the pouting keyboard warriors who trashed the latest installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe without even bothering to view it. (Here’s a tip, fanboys: When you begin a screed about any entertainment product with the words, “I haven’t seen/read/listened to [INSERT TITLE HERE], but…,” your opinion lost any credibility three words in.) The Marvels proved itself — to this person who actually bought a ticket — fun, engaging, and heartwarming, with the interplay between the three leads alone worth the price of admission — which I, unlike many online pundits, actually paid. Is it the MCU’s best film? No, not by a long shot. (The villain, in particular, is tragically underwritten… which can be said of the villains in at least half of the MCU outings. It’s neither a new nor a unique problem with this film.) But not every MCU movie has to be Avengers: Endgame or Black Panther, nor could they all be. The Marvels is very good for what it is — a mid-tier film in the Marvel canon. If that’s the sort of thing you like, you’ll probably like this one. I certainly did.

The Nest, my not-terribly-clever code name for the Vegas iteration of Casa de Swan. It’s taken over a year, but it finally feels fully and completely like home. It even has a thermostat on the wall with its own name on it.

Outlet shops. The Las Vegas North Premium Outlets are right in my neighborhood. I’m not really an outlets shopper, but every time I pass, they appear to be doing a land-office business. Plus there’s a Cheesecake Factory.

The Palms. Thought to be on the verge of extinction as recently as a couple of years ago, the Palms — the off-Strip hotel and casino that was once home to both a Playboy Club and a season of The Real World — appears to be thriving under the new ownership of the San Manuel Band of Mission Indians. It’s the first Las Vegas casino to be owned and operated by a Native American tribal band. (The casino at Virgin Las Vegas, formerly the Hard Rock Hotel, is operated by the Mohegan band out of Connecticut, but the property is owned by Virgin Hotels.) The new owners reopened the buffet — it’s a pretty decent one, in an era of vanishing buffets — and maintained most of the better dining and imbibing venues, including the iconic Ghostbar. The Pearl Concert Theater is a great place to see a show; I caught Cheap Trick there on their current tour.

Queen Latifah. She’s had stunning success as a music artist and as an actor. Her current TV venture, a retooling of the classic crime series The Equalizer, is pretty solid — though I’ll admit that I prefer the film series starring Denzel Washington… because Denzel. Props to The Queen, though, for doing it her way.

Repeat champions. Speaking of Queens, all hail to the Queens of the WNBA, the back-to-back world champion Las Vegas Aces! What an exciting (and sometimes crazy) season the Aces put forward on their way to their second consecutive title. Even the mid-campaign, season-ending injury to newly acquired superstar Candace Parker, and the equally season-ending arrest and subsequent banishment of super sub Riqana Williams, couldn’t derail the Aces as they marched to collect another trophy. When “Tha Point Gawd” Chelsea Gray went down during the Finals, the team rallied to finish off the archrival New York Liberty, almost without missing a beat. I can hardly wait to see what happens as coach Becky Hammon and all-World forward A’ja Wilson (the Finals MVP, who should also have been the regular season MVP) lead the squad in search of a threepeat in 2024.

The Scarlet Witch. I might be referring here to one of my all-time favorite comics (and later MCU) heroines. But I’m actually referring to the crimson Subaru that replaced my previous vehicle (nicknamed the Blubaru, for reasons you can probably guess) at the end of last year. She’s red, and she does a ton of technological tricks that seem like magic. What else could I have called her? (She answers to Wanda — as in Maximoff — for short.)

The Tropicana. I’m going to miss the old Trop, which as of recent events is officially doomed to be razed in the near future, to make way for the new stadium home of the soon-to-arrive Las Vegas Athletics of Major League Baseball. The Trop was my go-to lodging spot when I came to Vegas as a visitor, for the better part of a decade. In fact, I enjoyed one final stay at the Trop last year when I pulled into town as a new resident, while I waited for the truck ferrying my belongings. So long, old friend. We’ve shared many good times and made many cherished memories. I hope the implosion isn’t too painful.

Uzo Aduba. I read in an interview that the talented actor, who recently headlined the reboot of the TV series In Treatment, got her breakthrough role as Crazy Eyes in Orange Is the New Black in an interesting way. Apparently, Aduba auditioned for another role in the same show. When her agent called, they had “bad news” and “good news.” The bad news: Aduba didn’t get the role she’d read for. The good news: The producers wanted to cast her instead as Crazy Eyes. To which Aduba said that she responded: “What was it about my audition that made them think I’d be right for a character called Crazy Eyes?” Whatever it was, it was worth two Emmys. Indeed, Aduba is the only performer to win a “Best Supporting” Emmy for both comedy and drama for the same role in the same series. Sometimes, as Mick Jagger once noted, you don’t get what you want, but you get what you need.

The Venetian Theatre. In the past year, I saw five terrific concerts in this gorgeous venue: ZZ Top; Styx; Smokey Robinson (when you can see a legend, go see a legend); Ringo Starr and His All-Starr Band (when you can see a Beatle, go see a Beatle); and Earth, Wind and Fire. I also saw the national touring company of the Broadway show SIX here. I’m hoping to see many more shows at the Venetian in the years ahead.

Watch Art Grand Exhibition. This year, for the third time, I was privileged to be hired by the world-renowned Swiss watchmakers Patek Philippe to narrate the audio guide to one of their Grand Exhibitions. I first narrated the Grand Exhibition held in New York in 2017, then provided the English-language version of the guide to the Singapore Grand Exhibition in 2019. This year, Patek Philippe took their display to Tokyo, and I again got the call to narrate the English-language guide. I now understand far more about the craft of artisan horologerie than I ever imagined that I would. If you ever get to see one of these periodic exhibitions, I highly recommend that you check it out.

X. I’m just going to give the letter X the year off. I’m not really thankful for anything — or anyone — related to X (regardless of what X may or may not have been called previously) this year. (If you know, you know.)

“Ya Mo Be There.” If I hear this song one more time, ya mo… well… not burn this place to the ground. Maybe I’ll butt-dance in my seat instead.

Zippy’s. After an interminable period of years since the original announcement, the Hawaii-based diner chain Zippy’s has finally opened its first location in Las Vegas. The day I considered stopping in, the waiting queue wrapped around the building. I’ll definitely get there sometime soon, after the initial furor dies down a bit. That’s assuming, of course, that it dies down. People here on the Ninth Island have been waiting an awfully long time for a Zippy’s.

And of course, as always, friend reader, I am deeply grateful for you. I appreciate your time and attention. My hope is that you’ll be inspired to list a few of the things and people you’re happy to have in your life, and give grace according to whatever belief system you subscribe to. I hope you’ve had a most excellent Thanksgiving, and that you’ve been able to share it with at least some of the people for whom you’re the most thankful. May we all be here in 12 months to be grateful yet again.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Cinemania, Food Glorious Food, Hawaii, Hero of the Day, I'm The Mic Guy!, LearnedLeague, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, Soundtrack of My Life, Sports Bar, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, Vegas, Baby

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SwanShadow Gives Thanks, Volume 19: Viva Las Vegas Edition

November 25, 2022

By any measure, 2022 has been a year of change and transition at Casa de Swan. Including a wholesale relocation of Casa de Swan. Plus… well… other things.

At the beginning of the year, the Pirate Queen decided that she wanted — borrowing a line from Fleetwood Mac — to go her own way. I decided not to contest, because what would be the point, really? We determined that we would end our partnership as amicably as possible, and I think we accomplished that. For public consumption, I believe that’s enough said.

In the meanwhile, I needed to decide what I was going to do with the rest of my life, and where I was going to do it. As much I would love to move “home” to Hawaii, the land of my earliest childhood memories and the place I consider myself to be “from” as much as I’m “from” anywhere, the economics and logistics just weren’t feasible in the present moment. Nor were the economics favorable to staying put — I could certainly manage it, but on somewhat Spartan terms, and without much to show for it in the end.

I’ve visited Las Vegas at least once a year, and occasionally more than once, for most of the past 20 years or thereabouts. I’ve enjoyed being there as much as I’ve enjoyed being anywhere that isn’t in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. And folks from Hawaii do refer to Vegas as “the ninth island,” because so many kama’aina vacation or relocate there. I ran the numbers, and the finances clicked.

So I loaded up the truck (okay, the professional movers loaded up the truck) and moved to… well, not Beverly — Hills, that is. Still, a place with plenty of swimming pools and more than a few movie stars.

As you doubtless know by now, the drill is that every Thanksgiving I create an A-to-Z list of people and things for which I’m thankful. It’s not intended to be comprehensive; listing everything that gives me cause for gratitude would be an impossibly daunting task. Therefore, I choose 26 items — one for each letter of the alphabet — to represent everything else for which I’m appreciative. In honor of my new home town, this year’s list has a specific and intentional Vegas focus. I am indeed thankful for my new life in this oasis in the high desert, and for the possibilities it offers. Hopefully I’ll continue to feel that way as time moves ahead. To this point, I’m confident that I will.

Before we start, I’m especially thankful for The Daughter and her family, which is due to expand by a second Little Dude early in 2023. One thing that my move to Las Vegas has enabled is a tangible legacy for them, which gives me comfort. I love them more than life itself. And, as odd as it may seem under the circumstances, I’m thankful for the Pirate Queen, and for the years we shared together. I would not be the person, or in the place, I am today were it not for her. I wish her happiness in her new life.

With that overindulgent preamble, let’s get to the list.

On this Thanksgiving weekend in 2022, I’m grateful for…

The Art Houz. It’s a nicely appointed movie theater and venue space in the heart of downtown Las Vegas. The eight cinemas are all comfortable, usually uncrowded places to watch a film. They don’t have an IMAX screen or show 3D prints, which means I have to go elsewhere if I want to see something in one or both of those formats. But that’s a minor quibble.

Bellagio’s Conservatory. The Bellagio Hotel and Casino features a huge themed floral display that changes for each season: spring, summer, fall, Christmas, and Lunar New Year. Each new design is spectacular, and always different. Best of all, it’s open without charge to the public, and photography is encouraged (unlike the philosophy in the casino itself, where snapping off photos — especially with a professional-grade camera — can get you escorted out).

Championships. Both of my professional basketball teams — the NBA’s Golden State Warriors and the WNBA’s Las Vegas Aces — won the championship of their respective leagues this past season. The Warriors, of course, notched their fourth trophy in the past eight years. The Aces, however, not only won their first title, but also brought the city’s first-ever professional sports championship to Las Vegas. One of my first acts upon moving to Las Vegas was becoming an Aces partial-season ticket holder, and it was definitely a winning move; the games are exciting, the level of play is top-notch, and celebrating a team headed for the heights is always fun. The Aces’ starting five — eventual league MVP and Defensive Player of the Year A’ja Wilson; Chelsea “The Point God” Gray (as talented a point guard as anyone in the game who’s not named Steph Curry); three-point demon Kelsey Plum; WNBA Most Improved Player Jackie Young; and either former Sixth Player of the Year Dearica Hamby or workhorse Kiah Stokes — made every outing a blast to watch. I’m looking forward to cheering them on as they defend their title next season.

Department of Motor Vehicles. I know, I know… everyone hates the DMV. But I have to say that every one of my visits to the Sahara Boulevard office of the Nevada DMV went surprisingly smoothly. Sure, there’s a wait even if you have an appointment, but the office is bright and spacious, and all of the staff I dealt with were professional and friendly. Hopefully, I won’t have to go back anytime soon — a Nevada driver’s license is valid for eight years — but if I have such occasion, I won’t dread it the way I always did in California.

Elevators. Mr. Otis does not, in fact, regret.

Free parking. Tourists and locals alike complain about the high cost of self-parking at resorts on The Strip, an amenity that was free for decades but now is increasingly expensive. Get outside the neon corridor, however, and it’s noteworthy that most of the other places you’d want to go in the Vegas Valley don’t charge for car space. I’ll be glad to enjoy one of the perks of my full-season ticket membership with the Aces next season: free parking on game nights in the Mandalay Bay garage.

Gateway Arches. Everyone knows the “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign at the south end of The Strip; there’s almost always a lengthy queue of visitors waiting to snap a photo in front of the iconic image. Many visitors don’t realize, though, that this sign is actually more than four miles south of the actual limits of the City of Las Vegas. (I’ll presume that most of you are aware that the so-called Las Vegas Strip is not within the boundaries of Las Vegas, but instead spans two unincorporated areas of Clark County — Paradise and Winchester — south of the city proper.) Recently, the City erected a pair of criss-crossing arches across Las Vegas Boulevard just north of the city limits, near the STRAT Hotel with its ginormous observation tower, with their own sign welcoming guests to the “City of Las Vegas.” There’s also a nearby corner marked by two fifty-foot-tall showgirls that makes a perfect — and rarely crowded — photo opportunity.

Harry Reid International Airport. They haven’t changed all the signage yet, but earlier this year, the State of Nevada renamed the former McCarran International — one of the busiest airports in the nation — after longtime US Senator Harry Reid. Why? Because the airport’s former namesake was a notorious racist, anti-Semite, xenophobe, and McCarthyite. Good riddance to him and his name.

Interstate 15, the main north-south thoroughfare through the Vegas Valley. People drive insanely on it. That’s not the freeway’s fault.

July 4th, which is the day I first arrived in Las Vegas not as a visitor, but as a new resident. I’m sure there’s some irony about me landing here on Independence Day. Or maybe it’s coincidence. They’re easily conflated.

Kroger. As a longtime Safeway customer in California, I was disappointed to discover that my grocery shopping experiences at the chain’s local affiliate, Albertsons, were… disappointing. On the other hand, I have generally enjoyed my visits to Smith’s Food and Drug, a branch of the huge Kroger chain. In particular, the staff at the Smith’s where I usually shop (on Rancho Drive, near Charleston) are always helpful and friendly — so much so that I once pulled a manager aside to compliment them on the attitude of their employees. Also, I find most of the Kroger in-house products to be of good quality and a decent value.

Luv-It Frozen Custard. I’m making it a point to investigate off-the-beaten-path eateries that are touted highly by veteran locals. Some of these prove overrated; others live up to the hype. One that surpasses even the lofty claims made for it is Luv-It, an unassuming frozen custard stand located in a seedy area just off Las Vegas Boulevard south of downtown. The product itself is astonishingly good — handmade, rich, and creamy, they serve it straight-up or in a dizzying variety of sundaes and shakes. But the real hook is the fact that only a couple of flavors (aside from the standard vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry) are available each day. Luv-It publishes a monthly calendar on its website and Facebook page so that you can plan a visit when your favorite is Flavor of the Day, or when there’s a flavor you’d like to try that might become a new favorite. I have yet to try a flavor I didn’t like (the root beer float flavor could use a couple of jolts more root beer in my opinion, but it’s still pretty tasty), and I go out of my way to drive by when either malt creme or butter pecan are on the menu.

Mount Charleston, the tallest peak in the Spring Mountain range that defines the western edge of the Vegas Valley. Snowcapped from autumn until spring (its indigenous name, Nuvagantu, means “where snow sits” in Paiute), 11,916-foot Mount Charleston ranks eighth among the most topographically prominent mountain peaks in the contiguous US. (“Topographically prominent” is how geologists describe a mountain that is notably taller than anything else around it. For reference, Mount Rainier in Washington state is the most topographically prominent peak in the lower 48.) Charleston is definitely the most topographically prominent thing I can see from my living room window.

Neighborhoods. Most visitors never see much of the Las Vegas area outside of the two main tourist corridors, The Strip and Fremont Street. There is, as I’m discovering, far more to the Vegas Valley than those. I’m making it a point one day each week, often on Sunday afternoons, to drive around in an unfamiliar neighborhood just to see what’s there, and what it’s like for the people who call it home. I’m finding Las Vegas and the surrounding area to be a remarkably diverse place. Did you know that Las Vegas is statistically the second-least racially segregated large city in the United States? (Surprisingly, Tucson, Arizona ranks first.)

Oscar Goodman. For many years, he was the most prominent attorney representing the interests of the… um… underworld elements that ran much of Las Vegas back in the day. Now, he’s one of the more colorful symbols tying together Vegas’s mobbed-up past and its megacorporate present and future. Often seen at major events with a classically attired showgirl on either arm, or holding court at his namesake restaurant in the Plaza Hotel downtown, Oscar served three terms as mayor of Las Vegas before term limits forced him to pass the torch to the current office-holder — his wife Carolyn.

Performing arts. One of the draws for me in moving to Las Vegas is that there’s always a show to see. Live music, theater, comedy, and performing arts of every description abound here; there are seemingly endless venues to catch someone doing something entertaining. Among my favorites is the Smith Center for the Performing Arts, a modernized version of a vintage concert hall located right downtown. I saw Kansas at the Smith Center in September, and was seriously impressed by the place.

Queensryche. “Jet City Woman” is a classic. They’re playing Vegas in March. I may go.

Randy’s Donuts. Familiar to Angelenos and filmgoers alike for the iconic doughnut-shaped sign marking its original SoCal location, Randy’s opened a Las Vegas branch this summer. Although they also serve cake doughnuts for customers who lack discerning palates and don’t know any better, Randy’s raised yeasted doughnuts are quite simply the best doughnuts I have ever tasted. I don’t eat doughnuts often, but when I crave one, Randy’s is the spot. I don’t even mind that they don’t know how to spell “doughnuts.”

Seven Magic Mountains. You can see them from the freeway as you drive into the Valley from the south: seven towers made of brightly painted boulders stacked atop one another. You wonder to yourself, “What in the world is that?” So you pull off at the next exit, drive several miles down a deserted two-lane blacktop, and arrive at your destination, a makeshift parking lot in the middle of nowhere. A signboard explains what you’re looking at: an art installation entitled Seven Magic Mountains, created in 2016 by Swiss-born sculptor Ugo Rondinone. Positioned on federal land, the “mountains” (pillars, more accurately) were intended to stand only temporarily. The original two-year contract was extended for another three years in 2018 due to the exhibition’s popularity, and negotiations continue that would allow the sculpture to remain indefinitely.

Tacos El Gordo. Like Luv-It which I mentioned earlier, Tacos El Gordo is one local joint — more accurately, a chain of joints — that more than merits the high praise and lengthy queues it generates. In many decades of taco consumption, I can’t say that I’ve ever eaten superior tacos to those I find at Tacos El Gordo. The ordering set-up is unique: you first decide what kind of meat you want — they have everything from the familiar carne asada and pork adobada to more specialized traditional fare such as beef tongue and pork stomach — then queue up in the line where that meat is being served. When it’s your turn, you tell the cook how you want the meat served; you can get it dished up in tacos, sopes, tostadas, quesadillas, or any of several other preparations. You then take your food to a central counter where you pay, and order a drink if you choose. You are now ready for one of the most sublime culinary experiences of your life. Seriously, if you come to Las Vegas and you don’t dine at Tacos El Gordo at least once, you have cheated yourself. Hot tip: Skip the always-inundated central Strip location, and drive or Uber/Lyft a few miles south to the new branch across from the Town Square mall complex. Same terrific food, but with more seating and far shorter lines.

Utilities. I would not want to imagine living in the desert without the benefit of air conditioning in the summer, and heating in the winter. (This may shock you, but it’s chilly in Las Vegas between November and March, especially after sundown.) So far, I have only positive things to say about our electrical power provider, and only minor quibbles about the company that delivers our TV, internet and wifi connections.

VersaCart. My grocery and household shopping excursions would be far more onerous without the collapsible cart I use to transport my purchases from my car to my condominium. The VersaCart might look dorky, but its carrying capacity is deceptively huge — I have yet to make a grocery run that I couldn’t transfer in a single load — and it operates flawlessly. I frequently get compliments from other residents who want to know where I got mine. (Amazon, for the record.)

Wedding chapels. I can’t swing a cat without hitting a wedding chapel — not that I am (a) literally swinging cats, or (b) attempting to assault wedding chapels. As touristy and tawdry as the tradition of the Vegas wedding is, I have to admit that it always makes me smile to see a dressed-up couple waiting outside a chapel for their turn with the officiant, or departing with beaming faces as they begin a new life (or maybe just a new few months, let’s be honest) together. I guess I’m not quite the misanthrope I imagine myself to be.

Xeriscaping: the art of landscaping for a desert environment. It’s an essential skill in a place where water is at an extreme premium. By the way, if you wonder whether Las Vegas isn’t about to run out of water any second, it may be helpful to know that nearly 98% of the water used as an indoor resource in the Vegas Valley is recycled. If it goes down a drain here, it passes through one of the world’s most efficient reclamation systems to be used again. And most of the water on display in outdoor venues — think the Bellagio fountains, for example — is 100% recycled. Las Vegas is better at reusing water than almost any other metropolis on the planet. We’re doing okay for the time being, thanks.

YouTubers. In the months when I was preparing for the big move, I gleaned a treasure trove of information about Las Vegas from a number of YouTube channels specializing in local news and lore (Las Vegas Advisor, Not Leaving Las Vegas, Jacob’s Life In Vegas, Turn It Up World, Miles to Memories Vegas, Dale McKenzie), real estate data (Las Vegas Gal, The Thomas Group — Christina of The Thomas Group represented me in my home purchase), dining recommendations (All You Can Vegas, Derek and Catherine, Bill and Lisa’s Food and Travel), and entertainment tips (Travel Ruby, Norma Geli). I appreciate all of these hardworking folks for their valuable content, and I hope to be in a position soon to pay at least some of it forward.

Zappos. The Las Vegas-based online footwear and clothing retailer (an Amazon subsidiary since 2009) has contributed a tremendous amount to the community, in particular the downtown district. Zappos HQ currently occupies the building that formerly housed Las Vegas City Hall; the proceeds from the transfer enabled the city to construct a striking new City Hall adjacent to several other city and county government facilities. The Zappos Theater, part of the Planet Hollywood complex, was home to Britney Spears’s lengthy residency; today it hosts country superstar Miranda Lambert among other A-list performers.

As always, friend reader, I am enormously, inexpressibly grateful for you. I know some of you have followed this annual post since its inception, and have supported my other writing projects as well. May the year ahead sustain you in sound health, in good humor, and in peace, and may we all be around to give thanks together again at this time in 2023.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Food Glorious Food, I'm a Warriors Worrier, Listology, My Home Town, Reminiscing, Ripped From the Headlines, SwanStuff, Thanksgiving, That's Cool!, Vegas, Baby

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Comic Art Friday: Let’s make some REAL news

August 11, 2017

I’m just back from my annual junket to the Trivia Championships of North America (TCONA) in Las Vegas, and man, is my brain fried.

I’ve attended every TCONA since the first one in 2011, and it seems as though it’s even more of a blast each successive year. It’s my one opportunity every summer to interface in person with fellow quizzers (including many other former — and some yet future — Jeopardy! champions) from all over the continent (and in a few cases, from other continents), amid the diz-busting, face-melting heat of Vegas in August.

Once again, I managed to keep my six-year medal-winning streak alive, with a bronze in the Team Trivia Championship (shared with five of the nicest and smartest people you’d meet anywhere). When you can’t be the brightest bulb in the room, it’s good to be one of the luckiest.

Best of all, the Pirate Queen joined me as usual at the end of the convention for a few days of Vegas-style R&R, as we are wont to enjoy.

But you’re here for the comic art, aren’t you?

All righty then.

Starman and The Creeper, pencils and inks by Tom Derenick

Today’s featured artwork is this tremendous effort by Tom Derenick, a leading contender in the Why Isn’t This Artist More Famous? sweepstakes. Our latest dip in the Common Elements theme pool matches The Creeper, one of Steve Ditko’s less prominent creations, with the Golden Age hero Starman. What in the wide world of DC Comics might these two have in common, you ask? Perhaps more than you’d think.

When we first encounter the man who would become The Creeper in Showcase #73 (March 1968), he’s Jack Ryder, an obnoxious blowhard TV personality. Starman in civilian life is Ted Knight, who shares his name with an actor (sadly, no longer with us) best known for playing… wait for it… an obnoxious blowhard TV personality. There’s your first common element.

I say “first” because sometimes when I devise a new Common Elements concept, I’m so focused on the idea I have for the project that I miss entirely plausible alternate connections between the characters involved. My good friend and colleague, the legendary commission collector Damon Owens, was quick to point out one here that I didn’t even think about.

The alter egos of these two characters go together to form “Knight Ryder,” a title differing only in spelling from that of a popular action-adventure program from the 1980s. That series, coincidentally, starred David Hasselhoff, a man who also fits the description of… wait for it… an obnoxious blowhard TV personality.

(Incidentally, any additional connection, real or imagined, to an obnoxious blowhard TV personality currently in national public office is 100% serendipitous. *cough*)

So, there’s another common element — one you’d suppose that a self-professed trivia maven such as your Uncle Swan would have picked up on from Jump Street.

Alas, no. Therefore, my thanks to Damon for sweeping the glass and snatching the uncontested rebound.

Back to our spotlight heroes for a moment. As noted previously, The Creeper sprang from the fevered imagination of Steve Ditko — probably best known as the artist co-creator of Marvel’s Spider-Man and Doctor Strange, but also the source of such characters as The Question, Hawk and Dove, and Shade the Changing Man.

In his debut adventure, Jack Ryder becomes The Creeper through the most unlikely of circumstances. In his capacity as a security expert for the television network that recently fired him from his talk-show-hosting duties, Ryder hunts down the subversive agents who kidnapped a famous scientist. While tracking the kidnappers, Ryder crashes a high-society masquerade ball wearing a costume he threw together from random items — the costume that later becomes The Creeper’s signature look. When Ryder finds the missing scientist, the man gives him a serum that speeds healing from injury, along with a device that enables Ryder to transform his apparel from his everyday clothes to his Creeper garb in the blink of an eye. The scientist is soon murdered, leading Ryder to devote himself to battling evildoers.

Starman’s history dates back to Adventure Comics #61 (April 1941), wherein astronomer Ted Knight invents a device he dubs a gravity rod. This handheld implement allows Knight to fly and to fire blasts of energy at his opponents. Almost a year later, in All-Star Comics #8 (January 1942 — the same issue in which Wonder Woman makes her debut appearance, although in a separate story), Starman and blind crimefighter Doctor Mid-Nite join the Justice Society of America, the original superhero team.

Starman faded from the scene (like most Golden Age superheroes) in the late 1940s. In the intervening decades, several other DC characters have used the Starman identity — some connected by legacy to the original Ted Knight version, others completely unrelated. A cynic might opine that DC keeps creating new Starman types merely to keep its trademark alive… but we’re not cynics here, are we?

Returning to our artwork: Not only does Tom Derenick draw with classic style and razor-sharp precision, but he also employs a brilliant twist of perspective here. If you look closely at the background, you’ll notice that the “bottom” of the scene from a real-world point of view is actually the right-hand side of the frame (in other words, that’s where the “ground” is). Thus, in portrait orientation — which is clearly how Derenick expects the viewer to see the image — it appears that The Creeper is jumping down onto an upwardly rising Starman, in attack mode. But when we adjust the angle, and put the bottom of the frame where it would actually be, we observe that it is in fact Starman who has the upper hand, and The Creeper is leaping (or falling) backward, away from his opponent. (See the rotated image below.)

Starman and The Creeper, pencils and inks by Tom Derenick

It’s a masterful shot, perfectly designed and executed. When Tom sent me his preliminary sketch early on in the project, the background was merely suggested by a handful of lines. Only when I saw the finished piece fully rendered could I understand and appreciate what the artist envisioned. I was completely blown away. You might be too.

As with so many things in this life, it’s all in how you look at it.

And that’s your Comic Art Friday.

Categories: Comic Art Friday, Hero of the Day, Jeopardy!, SwanStuff, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits, Vegas, Baby, Where in the World is Uncle Swan?

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TCONA 3: Most of my pursuits are trivial

August 16, 2013

I just flew in from Las Vegas, and boy, is my brain tired.

Actually, the Pirate Queen and I flew back from Bright Light City two days ago, and I’m mostly not tired any more. I’d headed to Vegas last weekend for the third annual Trivia Championships of North America — henceforth, TCONA, or I’ll be typing all day. The Pirate Queen joined me on Sunday following the festivities, and we spent a blissful three days checking out the sights and sounds of one of my favorite vacation destinations.

But let’s talk TCONA.

What began two summers ago as a largely informal gathering of game show champions, Quiz Bowl veterans, and pub quiz mavens has ballooned in this third installment into a real live media event. Not only were crews from two nationally televised game shows — NBC’s Million Second Quiz, and The Chase, GSN’s new Stateside version of the UK hit — on site to conduct in-person auditions, but the stars of both the US and UK editions of The Chase also participated in several of the weekend’s competitions. The Experts, easily the best weekly quiz program on YouTube, taped four episodes before a live audience. And of course, there was in attendance the usual assortment of trivia geeks from all over the continent, and beyond. (I met at least one fellow who’d come all the way from Sweden. Or maybe Norway. Somewhere in Scandinavia, anyway.)

A summary of one attendee’s highlights follows.

The weekend commenced on Friday morning with a multi-part written quiz. This opening salvo serves not only to start the neurons firing, but also to provide an initial gauge of one’s level among the competitors. My first thought after completing the test was that I should have ingested more coffee before we began. I was relatively pleased, once the scores were published later that day, to discover that I hadn’t fared as poorly as I feared, and in fact, I’d outpointed several folks whose names are far better known in the trivia world than my own. With another triple latte in my system, I might have performed even better.

One of TCONA’s primary individual events is 5×5, a buzzer battle whose gameplay bears distant similarity to a certain television quiz program with which I am intimately acquainted. Despite the aforementioned acquaintance, I never seem to do very well at 5×5, and this year’s contest was no exception. I lost my first match thanks to a foolishly aggressive final wager — I was leading up to that point — on a question about Celebrity Apprentice, a program with which I am clearly not as intimately acquainted as I thought. I was never a factor in my second game, and thus lost any hope of advancing to further rounds.

I had high expectations for myself in another individual event, LearnedLeague Live. At TCONA 1, I won my first round against seven other competitors, despite never having played the game before. Last year, I held my own at an eight-player table that included several seasoned LearnedLeague veterans; I didn’t win the table, but I felt that I acquitted myself decently. This year, I made the critical error of playing at a table featuring two of the greatest (and two of my favorite) players in Jeopardy! history, Jerome Vered and Dan Melia. Note to self: Next year, instead of sitting with people you like, sit with people you might stand a chance of beating. Assuming there are any.

For the main team event, Quiz Bowl, I reconnected with two other members of last TCONA’s silver-medal-winning squad for a run at fresh hardware. Our team captain, Dave Legler, who once bagged $1.7 million on the game show Twenty-One, recruited as our fourth player a trivia host from Chicago, Jeremy Cahnmann. Combine that with our not-so-secret weapon, Jonathan Hess, a soft-spoken grad student from South Carolina who knows more arcane information than I’ve forgotten — and I’ve forgotten a lot over the years — and little old me (you remember that I’ve won eight games on that TV quiz show with the Canadian ex-pat, right?), and we liked our chances going in. We galloped off to a tremendous start, going undefeated in our first three games and winning our four-team bracket. Then, in our first elimination match, we ran into a tough crew led by Anne Hegerty, one of the “chasers” on the original British version of The Chase. As coincidence would have it, the game commenced with a battery of Anglocentric material that Anne leaped all over like a wolf attacking a Porterhouse. Our side rallied, though, making up ground furiously as the game progressed, only to lose in the end by the value of a single question. It was a hard loss to stomach… but there’s always next year.

Luckily for me, redemption came in the other team event, the Pub Quiz Mashup. Another Jeopardy! Ultimate Tournament of Champions veteran, Dr. Shane Whitlock, invited me to team up with him and his charming bride. We added three other players to fill our roster, which Shane dubbed (in the time-honored pub quiz tradition of quirky team names) “Natalie Portmanteau.” After seven often-hilarious rounds of play, we walked away with the silver medal. Except… well… we didn’t exactly. An apparent scoring error, uncovered between the end of the event and the medal presentation the following day, resulted in our being bumped from second place to third. So we got the bronze medal instead of the silver. I don’t care — it started out silver, and I’m sticking to that. It’ll always be silver to me.

Having the two hottest new game shows in television making their first TCONA appearances generated considerable buzz. Both Mark “The Beast” Labbett, the “chaser” on the US version of The Chase, and the show’s producer came in for Q&A sessions. (Not only is Mark a smart fellow, he’s also ginormous. They don’t call him The Beast for nothing.) Quite a few folks auditioned for Million Second Quiz; it’ll be interesting to watch the show and see how many people I know who made the final cut.

Speaking of game shows, if you aren’t already watching The Experts every Monday (or whenever you choose — it’s on YouTube, so tune in when it suits you, but the new eps post on Mondays), you should be, doggone it. Produced by my Jeopardy! colleague Alan Bailey, it’s consistently as entertaining a 20 minutes as you’ll spend. Alan and his crew shot four new games on Saturday night, including an all-star slugfest between The Chase‘s Anne Hegerty (whose subject specialty was Terry Pratchett’s Discworld) and Jeopardy! superstars Brad Rutter and Roger Craig (experts on Mad Men and Prince, respectively). All four games offered action, suspense, brain-shredding trivia superiority by the contestants, and abundant joviality for all. I won’t spoil the outcomes for you — you’ll just have to hie yourself over to YouTube when the new shows post, and check them out for yourself.

There were, as usual, plenty of ancillary events in and around all of the above. Quiz hosts and trivia producers from all over North America bring their favorite material and stage impromptu games throughout the weekend, which anyone can drop into and play. TCONA is also the home of the World Championship of Kno’dgeball, an amusing yet bizarre hybrid of trivia and dodgeball. (Your Uncle Swan declines participation in the latter, preferring not to combine mental challenge with risk of bodily injury. But the Kno’dgeballers do seem to enjoy themselves.)

Of course, TCONA’s most memorable highlights are always the connections and reconnections with my fellow trivia mavens. TCONA is the one place each year where I run into some of the many amazing people I’ve met via Jeopardy! — Bob Harris, Roger Craig, Brad Rutter, Steve Chernicoff, Dan Melia, Shane Whitlock, Alan Bailey, Jerome Vered, and I’m probably forgetting others, for which I’ll apologize in advance. (Yes, all of those people are as intelligent as they appear on TV. More, even.) It’s also a chance to meet up again with my Quiz Bowl teammates Dave and Jonathan, as well as many other new acquaintances I’ve made over these past three events, including such quiz show stars as Who Wants to Be a Millionaire winners Ed Toutant and Joe Trela, whose exploits I’ve admired from the other side of the tube. It was fun to put faces to many of the names with whom I compete in LearnedLeague — I think at least half of Rundle A West, my current LL bracket, was in attendance this year, several of whom I met for the first time.

Kudos to the TCONA team for lining up an infinitely superior venue this time out. The Tropicana met the event’s needs as well as anyone could have hoped after the horrors of Circus Circus last year. The Trop’s not perfect — in particular, its dining options are limited, especially in the budget-friendly/quick-service areas (there’s neither a buffet nor a true food court). Still, it’s an easy stroll across the street to the MGM Grand, New York New York, or the tram-connected Excalibur/Luxor/Mandalay Bay trio, so ample eating choices are right nearby. On the positive side, the conference center is easily accessible, and eminently convenient if you’re staying in the Trop’s Club Tower — basically, step off the elevator and you’re there. I couldn’t have been more satisfied with my room, which was large, well-appointed, clean, and comfortable. The in-room high-speed wifi worked splendidly. (Don’t get me started about the execrable Internet access situation I encountered when I moved over to Excalibur after the convention ended.) And, if you like to while away your free time and dollars in the casino, I found the Trop’s blackjack dealers as friendly and helpful as any I’ve encountered anywhere in Vegas.

Speaking of the Trop, TCONA shared the hotel’s weekend hospitality with another niche convention: the National Pole Dancing Championships. (Yes, that’s a thing. I kid you not.) I can assure you that, for the most part, you’d have had scant difficulty determining which guests were there for the trivia, and which for the pole dancing. Let’s just say that, were you to draw a Venn diagram depicting quiz nerds and pole dancers, there would be precious little overlap between the two sets. Maybe none.

Before I departed, I registered in advance for TCONA 4. You could join me in Vegas (probably at the Trop, but that’s yet to be negotiated) next August 8-10. But I’ll warn you: You’d better bring your A game.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Jeopardy!, LearnedLeague, SwanStuff, Teleholics Anonymous, That's Cool!, Trivial Pursuits, Vegas, Baby

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World Series Wonderboy

November 12, 2009

Congratulations to 21-year-old Joe Cada, who earlier this week became the youngest player ever to win the World Series of Poker Main Event.

Cada outdueled Darvin Moon, a logger from Maryland, to take down the most prestigious prize in poker, the World Champion’s gold bracelet. On the ultimate hand, Cada’s pocket nines bested Moon’s Queen-Jack holding, as neither hand improved when the five community cards hit the table. Ironically, Cada had indicated in an online interview that of the nine members of the Main Event’s final table, Moon was the player with whom he was the least familiar going into this week’s final table.

As fruit of his efforts, the youngster from Shelby Township, Michigan scored $8,547,042 and the envy of millions of poker players worldwide. Moon’s second-place loot totaled a none-too-shabby $5,182,928.

For the second consecutive year, the WSOP Main Event suspended play in July after its field of more than 6,400 players had been winnowed to a nine-seat final table. The so-called “November Nine” had an additional four months to brush up their hold-’em chops before reconvening at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas for this week’s endgame.

The biggest name at the final table, poker superstar Phil Ivey, finished in seventh place. Jeff Shulman, the publisher of Cardplayer Magazine and a veteran of the 2000 WSOP Main Event final table, landed in fifth place. Shulman finished seventh in 2000.

Thanks to young Mr. Cada and the rest of the Nine for an excellent end to the 40th WSOP.

Categories: Celebritiana, Hero of the Day, Ripped From the Headlines, Vegas, Baby

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Nine

July 16, 2009

They’re down to the final table at the World Series of Poker’s Main Event tournament, and a couple of familiar faces are still in the mix.

My poker hero, Phil Ivey — a.k.a. The Tiger Woods of Poker — sits in seventh place. Phil has been on quite a roll at the WSOP this year, adding two victories in earlier tournaments to bring his career bracelet total to seven. Despite holding one of the shorter stacks at the Main Event final table, Phil will be the player to watch when the tournament finishes in November.

Also earning one of the coveted seats is Card Player Magazine publisher Jeff Shulman, making his second appearance at a Main Event final table. Shulman finished seventh back in 2000, the year Chris “Jesus” Ferguson won all the chips and the gold bracelet. Jeff will be in fourth place when play resumes.

As has become the norm at the WSOP, the chip leader is an unknown — Darvin Moon, who’s said to be a lumberjack from Maryland. (I don’t know whether there’s any validity to the rumor that Moon puts on women’s clothing and hangs around in bars.)

The complete final table, with current chip counts, looks like this:

1. Darvin Moon – 58,930,000
2. Eric Buchman – 34,800,000
3. Steven Begleiter – 29,885,000
4. Jeff Shulman – 19,580,000
5. Joseph Cada – 13,215,000
6. Kevin Schaffel – 12,390,000
7. Phil Ivey – 9,765,000
8. Antoine Saout – 9,500,000
9. James Akenhead – 6,800,000

I’m still not sold on the gimmick, begun last year, of stopping the Main Event when the final table is set, and continuing play in November. I understand the logic — it affords four months to build suspense and public awareness, and gives ESPN a big event to broadcast during the fall ratings sweeps — but it just seems stupid to halt a tournament in mid-game and take 16 weeks off before resuming. It would be like baseball holding the divisional playoffs and league championship series in October, then not playing the World Series until the following spring. All of the momentum — for both participants and spectators — is gone.

But that’s yet another reason why I’m not in charge.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to spend four months listening to the onrushing footsteps of Phil Ivey. Then again, considering that every member of the November Nine is guaranteed a minimum $1.2 million payday…

…I think I’d get over it.

Categories: Celebritiana, Ripped From the Headlines, Sports Bar, Vegas, Baby

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My dream poker table

May 20, 2009

This week, NBC’s late-night series Poker After Dark (yes, I am often up and about at 2 a.m., and yes, occasionally I’m watching poker on TV) is rerunning one of its “Dream Table” episodes. The basic concept is that the gaming site Full Tilt Poker runs a tournament online, and the amateur player who wins the tourney gets to play against his or her five favorite poker pros on the TV show.

Poker After Dark has held three of these Dream Table events, if I recall correctly. None of the amateurs has ever won the table, but I’m sure they’ve all enjoyed pitting their poker skills against some of the legends of the game.

Not that I’d ever get on enough of a roll to merit my own Dream Table, but if I did, I know the five pros I’d invite. My table probably wouldn’t provide as much ratings fodder as those that have appeared on the show thus far, because I’d bypass obnoxious but telegenic players like Phil “PokerBrat” Hellmuth (he’ll win this week’s rerun, in case you don’t want to stay up late Friday night) and Mike “The Mouth” Matusow in favor of talents I admire even though they aren’t as flashy.

Look at it this way: If I were granted a once-in-a-millennium opportunity, why would I want to waste it with people whose company I probably wouldn’t enjoy? I’d rather choose people I might actually like. Life’s too short to play poker with jerks.

So here’s my Dream Table, in no particular order.

Daniel “Kid Poker” Negreanu. I read Daniel’s newsletter every week. He’s smart and funny, knows everything there is to know about the game, and seems like a genuinely nice guy. Daniel is the man I’d hire to upgrade my game if I won the Lotto. Which is unlikely, since I haven’t bought a Lotto ticket in maybe 20 years.

Jennifer Harman. Considered by many to be the world’s best female player, frail blonde Jen (she’s had some fairly serious health problems in recent years) looks like a homeless urchin whom someone cleaned up and dropped off at the casino. She’s quiet and thoughtful — almost sullen at times — while playing. But I like her focused approach.

Phil Ivey. Often called “the Tiger Woods of poker,” Phil doesn’t turn up on TV as often as some of the other big-name pros, but when he does, he’s usually right in the mix. (He’s made a record eight final tables on the World Poker Tour.) I can’t make heads or tails of Phil’s hyper-aggressive style — there doesn’t seem to be any visible logic to the starting hands he plays — but I dig watching him.

Howard “The Professor” Lederer. Howard might be the smartest guy at any table he plays, except when Chris “Jesus” Ferguson (a math prodigy who holds a Ph.D. in computer science from UCLA) sits in. Howard’s father is the linguistics maven Richard Lederer, whose books on wordplay — including Anguished English and The Cunning Linguist — are among my favorites. I’d mostly invite Howard in the hope that he’d introduce me to his dad after the show. (Howard’s sister is poker star and Celebrity Apprentice runner-up Annie Duke. I like Annie, but I wouldn’t want anyone at my Dream Table who’d been that close to Joan Rivers.)

Jennifer Tilly. And no, not for the two most obvious reasons. Jennifer was nominated for an Academy Award in 1994 (for Best Supporting Actress in Bullets Over Broadway; she lost to her costar Dianne Wiest). I’d want another actor at the table so that I’d have someone I could talk with about a subject other than poker. You know… a subject I might actually know something about.

Categories: Aimless Riffing, Celebritiana, Listology, Teleholics Anonymous, Vegas, Baby

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